


To Have Been Loved by Winter

by WriteYourDreamsTheyWillCome



Series: When Winter Melted a Heart [2]
Category: Tinker Bell (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-01-26 09:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 68,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1683563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteYourDreamsTheyWillCome/pseuds/WriteYourDreamsTheyWillCome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Second in trilogy (first being When Winter Melted a Heart). The Secret of the Wings movie (and what happens after) is told from Clarion's and Milori's perspectives, along with side characters' stories. The two lovers must overcome centuries of heartache and rebuild their life together through the adventures and trials that fall upon Pixie Hollow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a sequel to When Winter Melted a Heart. There were instant demands for this sequel (thank you! :)), and I strongly suggest reading the prequel because some important nuances may be lost on you otherwise.

 

It had been three hundred fifty one years and two months since she had spoken to Milori, and three hundred fifty one years ago today since he had sent her his goodbye letter. She remembered the exact date. And she remembered the exact date his letter had finally melted in her warm hands enough that it was no longer legible, despite her tender care with the treasured piece of ice. She had wept when his letter had finally left her after ten years of extreme care. Every day she had read it, willing it to bring comfort to her that only existed for a moment in time—for every day when she read it, she could pretend it was him beside her telling her that he loved her.

Clarion stared out her window at the rising sun. Hundreds of years later, she still had his words burned and locked tight in her memory. She closed her eyes and read it in her mind every day, forcing herself to recall the precise loops and curls in his handwriting. Of course she could have copied it down onto paper, but that would taint it. And it would taint the beautiful memories of reading the letter each morning in their cabin that still sat untouched.

She had allowed brush and weeds to grow around the cabin, hiding it from view of prying eyes. But never had she allowed the cabin to begin to fall into ruin. Mary, Thomas, Sled and Gliss were charged with helping her secretly make repairs to it when needed, and no one else knew or remembered that it was there.

Sled and Gliss, she smiled to herself softly. All fairies had been banned from crossing the border for centuries, but her two faithful friends of winter were her secret confidantes of sorts who would meet her inside the cabin. She had never told anyone, but Sled and Gliss brought her updates on Milori twice a month.

Milori remained in the North Woods, although Sled said Milori's body was still gradually warming in temperature over the centuries to that of the other winter fairies. Yet, he maintained the ability to stay in the subzero temperatures of the North Woods where he lived alone. Gliss told her that Milori never neglected his duties as the Lord of Winter, but he sometimes used Gliss and Sled as his eyes and ears, not often venturing out of his home himself to socialize. Her heart broke every time they told her Milori had left his home less than five times between their updates. He had wanted Clarion to keep living and not become a hermit, but he had become one himself.

Clarion recalled the day that Sled told her Mountain had passed away, only seven years after Milori had moved to the North Woods. Sled had told her that Milori had wept as much for the death of his friend as for the loss of a piece of Clarion—the fact that they had met because of Mountain and the gift of her training Mountain to be Milori's wings. She had come to learn that winter owls only lived fifteen years or so. Gliss had told her that Milori hadn't become attached to any owl again after Mountain, although he trained his new ones himself to be extensions of his wings. Clarion had spent hours with Mary over the years trying to figure out an alternative so Milori didn't have to deal with death or need to train new owls every fifteen years. But finding alternative wings proved impossible.

Several times over the years Clarion had heard about avalanches Milori had been caught in while trying to save fairies or falls that Milori had taken off his owls. Each time it terrified her as Sled or Gliss would sneak her daily updates. She had almost crossed one time a hundred years ago when Milori's owl had been grabbed during flight by a mountain lion and Milori had been badly injured in the fall. Then Sled had pointed out to her that if she went, Milori would figure out about and ban their secret updates. So she had stayed in spring and waited on pins and needles for hourly news from Gliss while Milori had been in surgery with Dewey, Sled and one of their healer-like fairies.

Every now and then she could catch a glimpse of Milori on an owl flying to the South Woods on Mondays if she flew up high in the spring clouds at sunrise. It wasn't a clear or close view, but it was still beautiful. He still wore his cape of Mountain's feathers. Gliss had mentioned to her that no one spoke of it that he couldn't fly, and the new winter fairies had no idea he had a broken wing. Not even Sled knew if Milori still got back pains from his wings being imbalanced or had trouble balancing anymore while walking. Or even if the wing itself hurt him. And no one dared to ask and risk reminding Milori of his loss of Clarion. So Clarion often worried about him.

The winter fairies had grown to 157 over the years, and the warm fairies had exploded to 372. It kept Clarion busy enough, particularly Tinkerbelle, but at night she had time to miss Milori and have dreams of him tear at her heart. With the arrival of each new fairy, she held her breath, hoping it would be one with some kind of new talent that could somehow help the warm and winter fairies be together. But each time she was disappointed.

Gossip was starting to spread about an heir. Clarion had a little over six hundred years yet to reign and find a mate so she could become pregnant with an heir. Milori only had another four hundred left to live. She already knew her plan. In the last year of Milori's life, he should be warm enough for a warm fairy to touch again. She would go to him, seducing him if she must, and carry his child. Milori would gain an extra two hundred years of life being her mate, and she wouldn't be forced to mate with someone she didn't love. He would probably be angry about her trick, but she would deal with that when it happened. She just had to make sure accident and illness didn't befall him before that time when their mating would protect his lifespan. She stroked her barren belly and smiled, glancing down. To carry Milori's child, even if he never spoke to her again, would make all of this pain and loneliness worthwhile. Upon first learning that queens got pregnant, she was afraid of having a life inside her. But Milori had been so enchanted about it that she had started to desire it too. She had done some reading on the topic of breeding, and it was now a mystical miracle to her. Pulling out her nightdress from her belly, she wondered what it would be like to swell with a child. With Milori's child. Smiling at her own silliness, she let go of her nightdress. This plan is what what got her through one day to the next right now. Then her smile faded. If something befell him before then, she would chose a mate in her final fifty years so the child was grown by the time her own light would go out.

She suddenly saw Milori fly past the spring border—not too far from her castle—unexpectedly, and she shot to her feet to lean out the window and watch him fly away for as long as she could. Her heart beat wildly with excitement. When he disappeared, she sat down, her heart heavy again. He never tried to catch glimpses of her or even look her way if he did see her watching. A terrible thought crossed her mind, and her wings drooped. What if he didn't love her anymore? If he missed her at all, wouldn't he try to catch glimpses of her too? Wouldn't he at least write to her to tell her that his temperature was slowly coming back down and maybe they could be together in another couple hundred years?

There was a commotion down at the tinker shop, and Clarion heard Tinkerbell say, "But it was an accident!"

With a sigh, she started to get dressed to go see what mischief Tinkerbell had gotten into this time.

Milori landed back at home and patted his owl, whom he had never named. It helped to not get attached that way. He jumped down and let his thoughts occupy him on the way into the house. Clarion had looked stunning today with her hair loose and still wearing her nightdress. Without even realizing what he had been doing, he had started to fly toward her and had reached the border before he had realized what he was doing. He had turned at the last minute.

He stomped the snow off his boots on the porch of the cabin he had built two hundred years ago. The ice house he had build upon moving to the North Woods made him miss Clarion too much. Here he could pretend it was the cabin they had built. This way, he could keep the insanity from his loneliness at bay. Smiling to himself, he remembered her gorgeous smile of surprise this morning the instant she had seen him. It warmed his heart because he had begun to worry about her moreso than before. Every morning she sat at her window at sunrise and would close her eyes as if trying to remember something. And then she would slowly open her eyes, looking so mournful. Sometimes she would cry silently. In the first few years after he had left, she would cry hard and he would have to leave his spot in the trees to go home because he couldn't bear to see her heart breaking. Lately, she would stare out the window with such a vacant look. Today, he remembered with bitter sweetness, she had stroked her belly. She must be either trying to get with child or with child. He avoided fairies so he could avoid gossip about her—he didn't want to know when she mated or when she became pregnant. But he would see her start to swell with child. He would ask Sled when she gave birth if it was a female, which he assumed it would have to be because there could not be kings for Pixie Hollow. Even Clarion's mate would not be a king. He was so happy for her. He wanted her to move on for her sake, but he hadn't been prepared for the pain it would cause him.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarion hurried toward the tinker shop with Thomas and found Tinkerbell tangled in the vines being used to create baskets for the winter owls. Bobble and Clank were trying to help free her, and Fairy Mary was standing behind them and counting to ten while waving her hands in her own face. Baskets were strewn everywhere in the courtyard.

"What on earth?" Clarion asked in shock with her arms spread out before her, glancing around. "Ten baskets are supposed to be delivered tomorrow."

Tink looked up like a startled deer. "Queen Clarion! I can explain." She stepped forward with vines and flower stalks jumbled over her head and body. "I am so close to having my basket loom made for the spiders. The ladybugs can then take the silk and to make the frame of the baskets. They'll be lighter for the owls, and the flower stalks can be woven over them instead of vines. It'll be so much better! I just need to get it perfected so the ladybugs don't get tangled in the webbing. A couple of them got scared when they got stuck and tried flying. One basket went flying and knocked over another and then..." She hung her head. "I'll clean it up."

"Tinkerbell," Clarion said with her hands folded before her. "You know that Fairy Mary permits you to test out your inventions but not before a pick up. How are ten baskets going to be repaired in one day when it takes weeks to make them?"

"We have extras, Queen Clarion," Mary finally spoke up, looking not so pale now. "We have fifteen in storage. Tinkerbell will have her basket method perfected before the next pick up," Mary said pointedly with a look at Tinkerbell.

"Alright. Mary, please send one of Tinkerbell's new baskets over to winter early so they may test it out and make sure it meets all of their needs." Clarion had to struggle to not let her voice waiver.

"Yes, Queen Clarion," Mary nodded. "Come, we have a lot of cleaning up to do before the pick up tomorrow."

When the fairies went to work, Mary turned to Clarion and asked quietly, "Are you alright?"

Clarion pulled her shoulders back. "Of course."

"You never come around when we're making the baskets since that last time..."

The memories from so long ago came swimming up. She had stowed away on a winter owl a year after she and Milori had parted. Sled had told her that Milori was often present to check the deliveries. That day he hadn't been there, to her grave disappointment. Sled had been surprised to see her. The next time that she had a secret update with Sled and Gliss, Sled had regretfully told her that Milori had seen her coming and had stayed away. Sled said that Milori had made it clear Clarion was not to return to winter. How was he supposed to enforce the law on his fairies when the Queen was breaking it herself? She knew Sled had softened Milori's words. Milori's rejection had kept her from ever trying it again, so on pick up days, she stayed in spring where she couldn't see the owls come through autumn to retrieve the baskets.

"I heard the commotion. I must go check on how the tulips are coming," she said and left quickly.

She felt terrible for not spending much time with Mary anymore. But Mary said she understood that Clarion needed to stay busy with work to keep her heart from breaking even further. Those had been Mary's exact words, and they had made Clarion cry in Mary's arms that day. How much could a heart break until there was nothing left to shatter?

Milori shoved himself up out of bed the next day, doing his daily stretches to help his stiff back. He was in a foul temper—he despised delivery days that happened twice a year. He wanted warm things to stay on the warm side, and he hated being forced to be around the winter fairies all day because he often overheard talk about Clarion if the fairies didn't see him arrive. He always tried to circle his owl overhead to give notice. The older fairies knew better than to discuss Clarion around him, and the newer fairies were intimidated by their aloof lord and only talked about business in his presence.

As he got ready, he fervently hoped that there would not be any gossip. He half wanted to know and end the misery of wondering but, on the other hand, perhaps it was better not to know if Clarion had mated and was expecting. He wasn't even aware of the surge of jealously that rose in his chest. Stomping into the washroom, he slammed things around as he started brushing his teeth. He didn't care if another fairy had made vows to her. He didn't care if another fairy had mated with her in the stars. He didn't care that another male had touched her and put a babe in her. Not that Milori even could mate anymore with his wing being broken, according to Dewey.

"What?" Milori had breathed, his heart breaking even further as if learning in the past days that he could never fly again and his body temperature being colder than they thought a winter fairy could survive hadn't been enough. "What do you mean I can't give Clarion an heir? My temp could still rise yet. Even if it doesn't, I'm sure there's some way to at least get her with child so she has an heir—"

Dewey had sat on the edge of the ice bed, careful to not jostle Milori's back that had still ached from the trauma even though Milori's wing had already been amputated. "Lord Milori," he had said carefully. "Males must be in flight to produce the white dust on their hands to make a female's wings pliable for holding her close enough during mating. Clarion's wings are incredibly large, and even with her changes, they aren't soft enough for mating without the white dust," he had explained sadly.

Milori had shaken his head on his pillow, with tears gathering in his eyes. "I can flap still and—"

Dewey had laid a hand over Milori's. "You must actually be in flight to produce the white dust, and it must be applied on wings at a high altitude."

The broken wing, the pain, the amputation, and the uncertainty if his temperature would even rise enough to be with Clarion hadn't broken him. It had been the fact that he couldn't give her an heir that made him weep. She needed an heir. And with his inability to even mate, there was no hope for them.

Milori didn't blame Dewey, but finding out all at once that his life with Clarion was shattered wasn't the wisest idea—Milori had taken out his anger on Clarion when she had come to visit him with only concern, love and determination to get him well. Pushing away that awful memory from his head, he slammed the medicine cabinet shut after putting away his toothbrush. He saw his own reflection. And he hated it. Turning away too fast, he lost his balance with his missing wing and fell into the doorframe, the sudden force jarring him and slamming him backward into the door. He caught himself on the floor on his hands and knees, panting from physical pain. Clarion was better off without a crippled fairy who couldn't even give her an heir.

He left on his owl early, needing to go for a fly to cool his temper and get control of his heart before it was time for the basket deliveries.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I'm struggling with keeping my story as fill-in-the-blanks to the movie's scenes. (I dislike it when half of a story is spent copying scenes and quotes from a movie.)

This story will start getting more upbeat soon, and other characters' stories will start emerging as we move through the movie (much of the movie accounts for the other fairies' activities). :) We're still in the midst of Clarion's and Milori's pain of being separated; their souls are so deeply intertwined that it's painful for them to be apart.

 

Mary was in high spirits as she finished closing up at the end of the day when Clarion came to see how the pickup went.

"Twenty more baskets were ordered for tomorrow," Mary chirped happily.

"Isn't that impossible? The extra baskets were sent today," Clarion said in confusion.

"Tinkerbell got her basket machine to work, and Sled replied that the test basket is better than the old ways. We have five left to make in the morning," she grinned and locked the shop.

"What has you in such a good mood?" Clarion smiled.

She spun around. "Gary said he has something to show me tonight," she beamed.

Clarion felt her smile falter for an instant as a pang of sadness shot through her before she pasted it back in place. "Do you think he finished building the house?"

Mary nodded so enthusiastically that her hair bun bounced. "I'm so tired of living in my place—it's so cramped with both of our things. I want a real home."

"And you deserve it. How many years has it been now since you mated?" she smiled.

Mary gave her a dry look. "310 tomorrow. You'd think a fairy could build a house faster than that."

"Maybe he wanted it to be perfect. I hope the home is the surprise." Clarion gave her a hug.

Mary pulled back to look up at her, having seen the flicker of sadness. "Are you alright?"

Clarion nodded. "Go. I'm going to go to bed early."

Clarion wandered the summer meadows with Thomas following behind at dusk. "Thomas?" she asked distractedly, her eyes on the path underfoot.

He came forward. "Yes, my queen?"

"Walk with me. You've been my guard for some time now."

"I have." He folded his hands behind his back as they strolled side by side.

"You never speak of your personal life," she frowned and turned her head to him.

"Because my duty is to see you safe and to not be distracted from my task, Queen Clarion."

"Like now?" she teased.

He smiled, keeping his eyes on the dirt path, but he didn't elaborate.

Her smile faded and she looked ahead, recognizing when to not pry.

"My mate tells me that I am too formal with you," he blurted.

She looked at him in surprise. "You are not obligated to tell me anything about your personal life," she replied simply.

He didn't look at her as if a bit embarrassed. "I admire your strength. You have been through some very hard times but carry through with grace and dignity. I would not hesitate to step in harm's way for you."

She stopped walking, never having heard Thomas being so personal or sentimental.

He stopped too and looked at her in confusion. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have eluded to him—"

"No, I just didn't expect that. That's kind of you."

He seemed hesitant. "If I may speak frankly, my queen..."

"You may." She turned to give him her full attention. What he divulged shocked her.

Milori had checked on the basket deliveries the next morning and then the progress of the new frost fairies. Now he was on his way home from Dewey's library. The wing book they had found in the basket deliveries disturbed him. Fairy Mary was anything but sloppy, and he didn't truly think the book had been left in the basket. There was a warm fairy in the winter woods. And he was going to be so angry if it was Clarion risking her life again.

Mary was incredibly happy when Clarion saw her the next evening on the way home.

"Well?" Clarion smiled.

Mary flew over and wrapped her arms around the Queen. "It's almost done!" she squealed. "It's beautiful, Clarion. You must come see it soon! Come have dinner with us to celebrate! It's nothing fancy, just something at home."

"Oh, Mary, I'm so happy for you. Of course I'll come," she laughed with genuine joy, willing her friend to feel the same elation Clarion had felt when Milori had shown Clarion their soon-to-be cabin.

After dinner, Gary went to bed after a tiring day at work, and Mary stayed up with Clarion to talk in the front room.

"Mary? We used to be such close confidants," Clarion said with regret and looked down at her teacup in her lap.

Mary looked slightly sad and took a sip of her tea. "Yes, we were."

"I'm sorry I haven't been a friend anymore—" she said, meeting Mary's kind eyes.

Mary set a hand on Clarion's arm. "I always worry about you, even if I don't say it. You have lost so much that I know you can't ever be the same. But you have always been my friend."

Clarion swallowed hard. "You are too kind to me, Mary." She laid her hand over Mary's hand. "I want us to be close again. I want to share something with you..." She was a bit afraid to let her secret out after so many centuries of guarding it so vehemently. Clarion told Mary her plan to reunite with Milori one day and have his child.

When Clarion finished, Mary was blubbering into her napkin. "Oh, Clarion, that's so beautiful. I'm sure it will work!" Then she sniffled and took both of Clarion's hands in hers, scooting to the edge of her chair to be closer. "You must promise me that you will do it before I'm gone. I want to see you happy and meet your baby before I go."

Clarion didn't realize until that moment that she was crying too. She nodded with a smile, her heart so much lighter having told her best friend and having heard someone tell her it would indeed work. Clarion leaned forward and hugged Mary.

"Ohhhh, you'll be a mother, Clarion," Mary laughed tearfully.

Clarion laughed as she hadn't in years, with happy tears rolling down her face. Yes, one day she would somehow win Milori back and carry his child.

Milori stood on his porch, sipping from his tin cup and leaning a shoulder against one of the posts as he watched the stars that night—just like he had done every night for more than three hundred years. He was still waiting for a star to fly from her laugh to know that Clarion had found true happiness again. Tonight there was suddenly a burst of dozens of tiny shooting stars raining through the skies, unlike anything he had ever seen. He had read Dewey's books and knew that tiny shooting stars meant one thing—she was laughing with joy because of a baby. She must indeed be expecting.

He hadn't smiled in hundreds of years and the movement felt foreign to him when his lips curled up, his cheek muscles contracted and his eyes crinkled at the corners. A single tear dropped from his lashes and landed in the snow as a crystal. "Congratulations, sweetheart," he whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

Milori was perched on an evergreen branch up in the trees and was watching Clarion sitting at her window the next morning. She looked happier than he had seen her in decades. Motherhood agreed with her, as he knew it would. She was brushing her long locks absently. He was too far away to see for certain if she was singing, but it looked like she was. He'd never heard her sing, but he didn't have to in order to know she had a beautiful voice—everything about her was beautiful.

As much as he wanted her to be happy, his chest had felt like a huge stone was sitting on top of it since seeing the shooting stars last night. The end of him and her was so final now that she had mated because every fairy knew a mating bound two fairies' glows together forever. Sometimes when the sorrow became too much, he'd let himself pretend that one day they would be together. That dream had died for him last night. Reaching out to touch a branch, he tried to lightly frost it. A sheet of ice formed over it. He sighed. It hadn't instantly shattered like his frosts had made branches do three hundred years ago, but his body temperature was still too cold. That at least gave him some measure of comfort to know he still couldn't even touch her.

Part of him desired to know who she had mated because he wanted to make sure the fairy was a good male who was worthy of her. If he wasn't, Milori would have to have a talk with him and maybe put some fear of Neverland in the bastard. Milori didn't know many of the warm fairies anymore, but Sled or Gliss would know if her mate was a good fairy. On the other hand, maybe he should wait to find out her mate. Right now it all felt so raw for Milori that he might go punch the male, even if her mate was a saint.

Clarion stood, and Milori perked up. She was getting ready to leave. He hated this part—having her leave. She closed her eyes for an instant, letting the sunrise bathe her face with its golden rays and make her auburn curls shine. He was too far to see it, but he remembered exactly how the sunlight would caress her hair to bring out the red and gold flecks in her silky locks. He closed his eyes a moment after he admired her beauty, this ritual bringing him comfort, and he whispered, "I love you."

After talking with Mary last night, Clarion felt full of true hope. She knew that one day could tell Milori again that she loved him. One day she would be able to rescue him. She closed her eyes, as she did religiously just before leaving her view of winter to get ready for the day, and whispered, "I love you, Milori." She willed the wind to carry her words to his ears, wherever he was.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been almost a perfect day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and everything was going smoothly in the seasons. And there had not been any disasters from Tink for a few days, Clarion pleasantly noted as she flew to the cabin with Thomas at dusk.

Thomas entered first, insisting on searching the cabin each time before she entered. He came out on the porch and sheathed his sword. "Sled is inside."

"Thank you," she replied and went inside to leave Thomas standing watch.

"Good day, my queen," Sled said with a bow in the bedroom as he stood in winter.

"Good day indeed, Sled," she smiled.

"I haven't seen you smile in a long time," he replied, pleasantly surprised. "May I ask the occasion?"

"Nothing in particular. How are you?"

"Well. I dare say I don't need to ask how you are," he chuckled.

"Any news?"

"Not much. Winter is uneventful, and Lord Milori has only left his home a couple extra times because of the basket deliveries."

"The baskets are to your satisfaction?"

"They are marvelous! Tink is a genius. The owls can carry twice the loads with the lighter weight of the baskets," he said excitedly.

Clarion smiled. "Good."

"Gliss is well?"

"Yes."

"I must ask a private question of his lordship...well, more private than usual," she blushed and folded her hands behind her to keep from fidgeting. "Is he courting anyone?"

Sled looked at her funny. "No, my queen."

She nodded, relieved Milori wasn't avoiding her because he was in love with someone, although she did not begrudge him happiness.

"You don't know, do you?" His eyes searched her.

"Know what?" she frowned.

"He can't mate."

"What?" she laughed in shock. "What are you talking about?"

His eyes held deep regret as he said, "Because his wing is broken."

"What do you mean?" she asked in shock and felt her heart drop to her feet. Her chest suddenly felt tight, and she sank onto the edge of the bed.

Sitting across from her, he leaned over and set his hand on hers on the bed. "Dewey said a male must be in flight to make white dust. Something about the altitude and act of flying itself."

"There must be some other way," she said with tears in her eyes. "Perhaps if the mate takes him up and—"

He shook his head. "Lord Milori has discussed it time and time again with Dewey. The female cannot be in flight, even just so the dust can be produced. Dewey said something about the act of her being in the air and not flying, with her body holding onto the male, signals her body to release a nectar in her kiss. The nectar is the final trigger for the male to produce the white dust on his hands. Lord Milori is more than my lord, Queen Clarion—he is a dear friend. Even I have spent hours with Dewey trying to figure something out. It kills me that he must remain alone forever."

She wept, holding a hand over her mouth to control her sobs. Her only dream lay shattered all around her dying, begging to be saved as its light flickered out. The cruel irony that she should learn of this in what was supposed to be hers and Milori's bedchamber only broke her heart more.

"Wh, when did he learn of this?" she hiccuped, her chest fighting to draw in air through her sobs.

Sled blinked hard. "Before you came to visit him after his amputation. He was devastated because he knew he couldn't ever be your mate when you need an heir. He didn't tell you?"

She shook her head and wept into her hands, her delicate frame wracked by sobs.

He looked up at the ceiling, a tear slipping down his cheek. "That's why you ask every few years if he is warming up?" he croaked. "You thought after enough time, you could be together." He looked at her weeping so hard her body shook.

The law was broken for the first time in three hundred fifty one years when Sled crossed the border to pull Clarion into a hug.

Milori looked up at the sky in confusion when a sudden rainstorm rolled in over the warm seasons. He had never seen anything like it in hundreds of years. Then his eyes grew wide as he remembered the last time this had happened. It had been when he had moved to the North Woods. Dropping the icicles he had been inspecting for Gliss on his front porch, he ran out into the yard and whistled for his owl. The bird appeared within seconds. Milori waved his hand, signaling for the owl to do a flyby mount. As the bird swooped down, Milori grabbed the harness and pulled himself up onto the owl's back without the bird breaking speed. Something was terribly wrong to make Clarion weep this hard. If she was miscarrying, he needed to send all of his healer-like fairies over the border to help the healers make sure she didn't die.

Milori saw Gliss down below flying home. He swooped down, and she startled when the owl landed right in front of her.

"Lord Milori?"

He jumped off of his owl and ran over. "Gliss, go to the border and see if one of the guards are there. Tell him I ordered confirmation if Her Majesty is at the hospital."

"The hospital?"

"Yes, go! I can't be in the South Woods long enough to hunt someone down!" he said urgently.

"But—"

"Go!" he cried, beside himself with fear.

Gliss took off.

He flew up high to try to see if there was the glow of a guard at the border. The one blessing about using an owl was he could fly far faster than any fairy—perhaps he could shoot down and tell a guard before Gliss got there; if he couldn't take the warmth, Gliss would send his message. There was no glow at the border, probably because it was raining so hard. Milori cursed, his heart slamming with fear against his ribs. Even if Gliss did find someone, it would take hours for a fairy to dodge through rain that fierce. And by then Clarion could be past hope.

He soared down through the trees of winter to seek out Dewey for ideas. Milori had vowed the day he had left her that he'd watch over her from afar to make sure she was aways safe. If that meant crossing the border on an owl himself and perishing in order to bring her his best healer-like fairies, he would do it in a heartbeat.

Sled came out to Thomas with Clarion in his arms. Thomas was startled to see her in tears.

"Take her home before the storm," Sled instructed, nodding toward the dark rolling clouds building overhead. "The storm will grow worse before it passes."

"Is it from her?" Thomas looked at him with wide eyes as he lifted Clarion out of Sled's arms.

Sled nodded sadly and then kissed Clarion's brow. "Send for Mary to take care of her," he said sadly.

Thomas carried her home just in time before the large drops started crashing down.

Sled was worried what was wrong when he saw Gliss the next morning, frantically flying along the border lines. "Gliss, what's wrong?!" he called over the pounding raindrops in autumn.

She shot over to him, wringing her hands and eyes looking troubled. "Lord Milori sent me to find guards at the border. He said the Queen is in the hospital, and that's why there's so much rain!" she cried, speaking rapidly. "I can't find anyone!" She started throwing her hands about and flapping her wings faster in distress. "He told me last night to stay here until I found someone. Is she dying?!" she cried hysterically.

"Slow down. Gliss. Gliss." He caught her arm when she started fluttering about aimlessly. "I saw her last night. She's alright." He explained what was happening.

Gliss landed and her wings drooped with sadness. Sled landed too. "She thought all this time that there was still hope?"

He nodded solemnly.

"What do we do? We can't tell him what's causing the rain or he'll know we've been talking to her."

"I know," he sighed with anxiety. "We have to think of something to tell him."


	6. Chapter 6

Milori sat up in an evergreen tree watching Clarion at her window. He didn't even realize that he had been watching her for a full day and night until his stomach growled loudly, snapping him out of his trance. Then he realized that the rain had stopped at some point during the first night. He wanted more than anything to comfort Clarion and promise another baby would come along. If he couldn't be with her in person, he would stay and be with her in spirit. He had gone crazy all the first night not knowing what was happening to her. He had seen Mary enter the castle shortly before midnight the previous night and leave late yesterday. Clarion had opened the window after Mary had left and sat down at the window seat. She had looked out and then had laid her arms on the windowsill and her head down to cry softly.

Milori was incredibly stiff, guessing he had been so focused on Clarion that he hadn't moved much since the night before. He left to find Gliss to see if she had learned anything. He finally spotted her hours later flying with Sled down below, so he landed down by them. He leapt off the owl, and, in his urgency, forgot to lean to his right to compensate for his uneven weight from his wing. He fell to his knees but scrambled up to run to them. "What have you learned?" he asked in a panic.

Gliss looked at Sled, unsure what to say.

Sled stepped forward. "May I ask what the concern is?"

"She hasn't cried so hard in centuries," he said, pacing with increasing anxiety. Then he turned to Sled and asked privately between them. "She miscarried, didn't she? I was flying past the border the other day and she did something like she was expecting."

"Expecting?" Sled asked in confusion and glanced at Gliss.

Milori stilled, his eyes darting between them.

Sled's eyebrows rose. "Ah, she's not pregnant. She hasn't even mated."

Milori blinked. "She's not pregnant?" Milori dropped down onto a log and ran his hands through his hair. He was losing it. Sleep had been eluding him most hours of the night since he had left Clarion, but it was moreso since he had thought her expecting. He had felt like he was going mad trying to crawl out of his own skin at the thought of another male having touched her. He truly desired happiness for her—he just hadn't been prepared that it would be at the price of torture to himself. Even though she didn't have a mate now, he had to get used to the idea that it would happen soon. It tore at his heart too much to think about it right now. Right now he needed to focus on the matter at hand. He looked up at Sled and Gliss to see them looking at each other. Clearly they thought he was mad. "Why the rain last night?" he asked, ignoring their look.

Before they could answer, a winter fairy came flying over. "Lord Milori! Lord Milori!"

Clarion had sent Mary home hours ago at sunrise to get some sleep. And yet hours later, Clarion was still staring out her window, her heart filled with so much pain that it had finally gone numb.

There was a knock on her bedchamber door. "Queen Clarion!" Thomas called. He burst through the door, completely unlike him to not wait for an answer."

"Queen Clarion, Tinkerbell and some fairies brought a winter fairy across the border! The winter fairy looks like she isn't going to make it!"

Clarion flew out the window, not waiting for Thomas. Another fairy couldn't break a wing. Milori's sacrifice would have been in vain if another fairy was harmed again. She beat her wings hard to get to the border faster.

Things looked dire as Milori circled his owl over the autumn log where he saw warm fairies pushing some kind of snow machine. Sure enough, Periwinkle was being carried. He hardly knew this Periwinkle, being he kept away from society as much as he could, but she was a sweet fairy from what he knew of the little he had spoken with her. She was young and certainly didn't deserve to lose her wings. The look on her face was one of faintness from the heat. He knew that look himself all too well. He landed and ran over to where they set Periwinkle in the snow. Her wings were shriveled as his had done so many times. They weren't bad and could be saved with the cold air, not even needing ice treatments. When he instructed her to carefully spread out her wings, the cold air seeped in and gradually straightened them.

Anger and regret swelled in his chest as he listened to them argue that they only needed to perfect a way for the fairies to cross safely. He felt their pain of wanting to be together, but the law was there to prevent exactly this from happening to fairies ever again. He struggled to not yell that he hated the law too! He wanted to fall to his knees and scream up at the sky, shaking his fists that he hated it that winter and warm fairies physically could not be together to laugh and love and share life! He wanted to scream out all of this pain that pressed the seams of his body every day until he was certain he would tear right down the middle just like his heart had done! He wanted to fall to his knees and scream for hours and hours, his cries echoing through the winter mountains until he grew hoarse and could finally weep out the last drop of anguish until he was numb! One second that was free from this intense torture that had followed him for centures was all he wanted; to be able to breathe in one breath and not have it remind him of everything he had lost. But he knew that nothing but his light going out in four hundred fifty years would end his torment. He welcomed the day it would come. but for now, he had to endure getting through one breath at a time.

He started to turn away from the fairies, who all looked at him with hope he could not give. Then Tinkerbell spoke up and said that she and Periwinkle were sisters. It stopped him in his tracks. Pain shot through his heart for them. They could be protected from the same heartache and pain that had befallen him and Clarion if they obeyed the law.

Clarion flew quickly through autumn and heard Tinkerbell defying Milori for his rule. When Clarion spoke up in defense of Milori and all eyes had turned on her, she had to force herself to not look at Milori but to focus on the matter at hand.

Tinkerbell looked at her with tears in her eyes, but Clarion knew that lives would be at stake if she yielded on this law. A queen did not waiver because of emotions—sometimes hard decisions had to be made to keep those one loved safe. Her chest hurt having to deny them. Tinkerbell had such a giant heart, and Clarion's guilt only grew with the fact that she could not give Tinkerbell her wish to be with this fairy. Periwinkle flew away in tears and so did Tink a moment later, both flying in opposite directions back into their own seasons where Clarion knew they would cry out their hearts and both probably hate her.

Clarion looked up when it was just her and Milori left at the border. He was watching her almost as if waiting to see if she would approach. He was clearly as upset as her by the tears they had just caused these two young fairies. It had taken Clarion years to realize how hard it must have been for him to walk away all those years ago, but she didn't realize until now exactly how hard. He was still, and she knew that he refused to be the one to walk away this time. She held back tears and met his eyes so sadly. She had not seen him this close in hundreds of years. His jaw looked more square and his physique was more defined and honed. He was beautiful. But his eyes seemed different somehow.

Milori hadn't seen her this close in centuries. Time had matured her features, making her even more beautiful than she had been when they were young fairies. Her power had strengthened, portrayed in the way her gown flowed into thin air at the ends. He noticed that her wings were more transparent where they joined her body than they had been, and he worried if it was perhaps from her old back injury. Her wings had grown just the slightest bit—probably only a few millimeters, but he noticed. And he noticed the deep sorrow in her eyes. He wanted to step forward and ask her what had saddened her so suddenly last night. It wasn't possible for him to turn away from her, and he was half afraid of her speaking or coming forward for he knew that he would not be able to walk away from her a second time, no matter the cost to himself.

Just as he had said to her years ago before she had been able to understand what he had meant, she slowly turned away from him because she would not be the death of him. Something deep down in her heart told her that if she had taken a step toward him, he would have crossed the border to carefully take her in his arms.

Clarion went after Tinkerbell, needing to explain to the young fairy that she hadn't done it to be cruel.

Tinkerbell turned to her with tears on her face and asked Clarion a single question. "Why then?"

Clarion's heart broke for Tinkerbell. As Clarion told Tinkerbell the story about the border law, every word she uttered made her guilt and sorrow grow. It had taken every ounce of her strength to not weep. Only a single tear escaped her when she turned her back to Tinkerbell, her wings fell and she whispered that the fairies had to go their separate ways.

Milori did something he had not done in hundreds of years with any fairy but Sled, Gliss or Dewey—he went after Periwinkle. He found her in Dewey's library, watching Dewey's record of Periwinkle's and Tinkerbell's births. Swallowing hard, he walked over to her and braced himself to tell a fairy, for the first time, the hardest story he had ever told. As he spoke the words, he got swept away with memories of Clarion as he told Periwinkle the story about the law. For an instant in time, he felt whole and free again—the pain that was his heart's constant companion faded for a moment in time and he was back with Clarion. Periwinkle seemed to find some measure of comfort in at least knowing the reason. When he finished, she looked up at him from where he knelt beside her.

"You loved her, didn't you?" she asked through her tears.

He looked down at this innocent little fairy and tears gathered in his eyes. "With all my heart," he whispered.

As soon as he walked out the library doors and stepped into the snow, he fell to his knees. He had not spoken in such detail of Clarion in so long that the wounds had ripped open and were now as raw and painful as the day they had been cut into him. It all came so suddenly slamming down on him again so hard that he fell forward onto his hands and wept.


	7. Chapter 7

The snow machine had somehow gotten into the river and created a freeze that was creeping through the seasons at an incredible rate, killing anything in it's path.

There was tension and chaos everywhere as everything the warm fairies tried to do proved to be fruitless in saving the Pixie Tree. Clarion had sent the animal fairies and others out to save what they could of the insects and animals before the freeze hit.

Clarion kept looking around from where she stood in the middle of the tree, hopelessly lost as to what should be done to save the Pixie Tree. Without the tree, not only would fairies be unable to fly but any fairy who was injured or terribly ill would not be able to be healed with the aid of pixie dust. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. She was the queen. She was supposed to be able to protect Pixie Hollow. She was supposed to have answers. She was supposed to be able to be calm and solve any solution. Her last resort was to summon all of the dust from the tree and...put it where? The freeze would damage it, and there was so much dust that there was nowhere to store it this late. The freeze line was slithering closer every second, engulfing the seasons before her eyes. Panic rose in her throat, and she had never felt more lost without Milori than at this minute. He was wise enough about winter to know what they could do. But no warm fairy could cross this freeze line into winter for help. This freeze would be cold even for winter fairies and be the death of any warm fairy who tried to fly. She glanced at Mary beside her, who looked as lost as Clarion.

Suddenly, a prodigious black and white cat leapt up on the edge of the tree, terrifying all of the warm fairies who were huddled there. Clarion was about to raise her hand to shoot dust at the beast and scare it away when she saw Tink leap off. Gliss, Sled and Periwinkle were with her, to Clarion's surprise. As she listened to Tink's idea about frosting the tree to save it, Clarion desperately hoped with all of her heart it would work. It was their last option. The winter fairies took off.

Watching how fast the frost was approaching, Clarion and the warm fairies turned to see how the winter fairies were making progress. They tried to go fast, but the tree was so large that it pushed even their winter talents to the limits. Her heart fell when they landed and finally told her they couldn't do it in time. Fear gripped her heart. This was the beginning of the end. She had failed all of Pixie Hollow. Her final greatest fear had finally come to fruition, her first fear being losing Milori.

Periwinkle turned to Tinkerbell, apologizing they couldn't do more, when they all heard a noise and turned to look toward winter.

Out of the clouds emerged a single owl and rider with the sun casting a beautiful glow over them. Clarion's heart flew up to ride beside him—she would recognize that rider anywhere. She subconsciously took a step closer and clasped her hands together over her heart. He had come. She didn't know how he had known she needed him, but he had come. Her heart raced with joy upon seeing him. And it flip flopped as he soared through the sky toward her to come rescue them. More owls and winter fairies emerged from the clouds behind him. But her eyes never left him. She felt her wings rise and give a tiny flutter of excitement as she watched him approach.

He saw the warm fairies huddled in the Pixie Tree with leaf blankets. And there behind them he saw the golden sparkle of Clarion's wings. A surge of protectiveness filled him. As he got closer, he saw Clarion's wings give a soft flutter that could have been missed with the blink of an eye. All of these fairies looked up with hope in their eyes, and he knew that they had almost given up. His eyes met Clarion's and he was surprised to see the admiration and love shining out of them. He and his winter fairies had to protect her, the warm fairies and the Pixie Tree.

Periwinkle flew up beside him as they approached and revealed that they hadn't had success in frosting the Pixie Tree themselves. He split up his fairies, giving directions as to where they should frost. He himself had the strongest winter talents and could cover more area faster than the other fairies; he only hoped that if he focused hard enough, he could frost instead of freeze. He soared past the Pixie Tree with the winter fairies.

Milori had intense focus when he lifted his arm to try a frost on a summer tree—he didn't trust himself with the Pixie Tree. He felt the coldness sweep up him to his finger tips—too much coldness. Holding back some of his talent at the last instant, he looked up to see frost sweeping over the tree. Confidence surged through him. They could do this; they could blanket Pixie Hollow in time.

Clarion watched Milori begin frosting the trees around summer. Feeling like a silly young fairy, she couldn't help how the butterflies filled her stomach when she saw his frost was more powerful and nearly thrice as wide as the other winter fairies' frosts. But then she wondered why he wasn't working on the Pixie Tree himself when he could frost so much more and faster than the others. His eyes were focused with intense concentration, much more intense than the other frost fairies, she noted. Glancing toward winter, she saw the freeze was nearly upon them. "Hurry, Milori," she whispered.

They frosted the last of the land and he sent everyone back to the Pixie Tree. The fairies were all gathered when he landed. The freeze was just a few trees away, so he ordered everyone inside. Clarion held back and approached. As soon as she spoke, his heart broke. He had been so distressed earlier that day at the border that he had only been focused on her presence, not her words. He hadn't heard the melody of her voice since she had cried out for him, begging him to come back all those years ago. Her voice was slightly different, the tiniest bit deeper like that of a mature female. And it was so beautiful he wanted to fall to his knees at her feet. But he kept himself distant, knowing that she had let go after all of this time. When he told her that he didn't know if the tree would survive, her gorgeous blue eyes turned up to him. Her look of trust melted his heart.

He was so aloof. She had wanted to run to him and throw herself in his arms, but he had stayed back from her until it was only the two of them. Even then, he walked up to her, no emotion portrayed on his face. She didn't expect him to ever forgive her for what she had done to him, but his coldness confused her. So she turned her attention to the task at hand. She suddenly shivered hard during their conversation when a cold gust of air blew through the tree.

The freezing winds had arrived and Clarion shivered suddenly. Fearing for her life, he took off his cape and set it over her shoulders to keep her warm. He wished he could stay with her to make sure she was safe, but he was needed out here where he and the winter fairies could monitor the temperature accurately. If it dropped too low for the warm fairies and tree before the freeze even hit, they might be able to build a dome of ice around the tree as a last resort. However, that would limit their oxygen supply, and they had no idea how long they might be trapped inside. Milori had learned that his lower body temperature allowed him to construct ice walls that were impenetrable to even the strongest animals—and they took hours for winter fairies to break through. Instead of going with her, he pleaded for her to take cover immediately.

Clarion knew he was right that she had to get out of the cold before it was too late, so she started walking to a hole in the main trunk. She feared something happening to one of them, and she turned suddenly to tell him that she loved him. But his back was to her as he was walking away. For the first time, she saw his broken wing. The guilt and pain overflowed her heart—she had no place telling him that she loved him when she had done this to him. So she turned around and went inside the tree with guilt and regret as her companions.

He approached the edge of the tree where his fairies were waiting to stand guard. They looked at him in shock, never having either seen or known his wing was broken. He felt naked without his cape, but he didn't regret giving it to Clarion and letting his secret out. He looked at his gawking fairies pointedly until they stood guard. Then he stepped forward and stood tall, ready to protect the fairies and tree from harm. If the cold was sudden and severe enough, he could construct a dome himself within seconds.

A blast of subzero wind hit them as the ice wrapped the tree in its icy embrace. The sudden change hurt and shocked his body for a moment, despite the fact that he lived in such conditions. He looked at the winter fairies to make sure they could tolerate the artic temperature. They seemed chilled but alright.

Clarion sat huddled in the tree, the spot she had picked only large enough for her for a reason. She set her hands down on the floor of her hiding spot and closed her eyes, focusing all of her energy on making the pixie dust within the tree swirl inside the trunk to keep it from freezing. The energy it required was draining her faster than she had anticipated, and she felt her body heat up as the power of the dust began to climax within her. She could feel the dust trying to press on the walls of the tree trunk, attempting to release some of the energy as it spun faster and faster within its confined space. Her body felt impossibly hot as it had the day she had summoned the dust from the tree to put out the autumn fire so long ago. Her hiding space grew colder as the freeze swept through, and she knew it was her only saving grace from overheating herself. Sunlight started to appear through the doorway, so she let the dust settle and got up to go outside.

Clarion came out, and he was confused why she wasn't huddled in his cape but letting it hang off her shoulder. He walked over beside her as everyone gathered around to see if the tree would flow dust again. Heat was radiating off her, but she was completely focused on watching the tree.

Nothing.

She didn't know why it wasn't working. The dust wasn't frozen, but maybe the tree hadn't survived the ice. Everyone waited with abated breath. And then it happened. The dust poured out of the tree and cheers erupted. Her wings fluttered with joy for an instant.

Clarion had such intense anticipation in her entire body that he realized something had happened while he had been guarding against the cold. When the dust finally started flowing, Clarion's wings fluttered, just like how he remembered her doing when she was younger.

The fairies all flew around, cheering with joy. Clarion looked at Milori to see him looking up at the fairies buzzing around, and she wondered if he missed that he couldn't do it too. So she stayed down with him.

When Periwinkle called up Tink but she didn't join in, all eyes turned to her. Clarion felt her heart drop when Tink removed her coat to reveal a torn wing that had happened when Tink had gone to retrieve the winter fairies to save the tree.

Silence filled the air, accompanied by sorrow so tangible that tears came to everyone's eyes.

Milori stepped forward, understanding how Tinkerbell felt about her broken wing and being separated from someone who was dearly loved. He set a hand on Clarion's shoulder, reading her like a book that she was blaming herself for this too. The law was causing more problems than solving them. Clarion saw it too, and his heart rejoiced when she revoked the border law.

Watching the sisters say goodbye because the weather was warming up was almost more than Clarion could bear. The law was supposed to prevent such sorry as this, but she had caused it. But the most extraordinary thing happened when they touched their backs together and lined up their wings—there was an incredible glow that healed part of Tinkerbell's wing.

Clarion could hear her own heart thudding in her ears, hoping when they did it again.

Milori's eyes grew wide, hoping Tinkerbell wouldn't have to become an owl rider like himself.

Her wing healed, to everyone's absolute shock. The fairies all cheered, and Clarion smiled with relief that another fairy would not have to suffer like Milori did. But then another thought crossed her mind—how hard it must be for Milori to see another's wing heal when his never could.

He looked down at Clarion to see her smiling at Tinkerbell. Suddenly, the joy of the moment and being back beside this beautiful fairy was too much for him to hold back any longer. He set his hand on her waist and gently took her other hand in his, hoping she would react with a smile.

She felt something cool on her waist and then Milori take her hand. Looking up at him in surprise, she saw love shining in his eyes. Not anger or resentment or sorrow but love. Her heart burst open and she couldn't stand it another minute—she stood on her toes and kissed him, not caring it was not at all a queen-like thing to do. He seemed surprised by the kiss, but it only took him an instant to return it.

After all of the fairies had flown away to take the winter fairies home and plan a party, he still hadn't released her from the kiss. Not that she minded—she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him down closer.

He finally broke the kiss after a moment and said huskily, "I think Tinkerbell has a grand idea."

"Hm?" she purred, still dizzy from his kiss.

"That frosting a warm fairy's wings might work for coming over into winter," he said with a smile.

"I didn't hear her."

"Of course you didn't because you were busy with me." Then he kissed her soundly again.


	8. Chapter 8

Clarion broke the kiss this time and looked up at him. "Milori, we have to talk," she said softly.

His eyes grew solemn. "I know."

Her brow furrowed, suddenly sidetracked as she searched his eyes. "What happened to your eyes? They're honey colored now, but I know they used to be as blue as ice," she asked in concern.

He blinked, confused by the sudden change in conversation. And then he looked away in embarrassment for a moment. "Dewey said that winter fairies who are born with blue eyes can weep out all of the blue with enough tears," he answered quietly.

Her big diamond eyes searched his sadly. Then she reached up and cupped his cool cheek. "Can you see alright?"

He nodded. His heart pounded as he gathered courage to bring up what he didn't want to tell her.

"You're not so cold," she cut into his thoughts. She touched his shoulder and then hand in confusion.

"It's from holding you. I daresay you were up to something during the freeze," he accused with a cocked eyebrow.

Looking up at him skeptically, she let the issue drop. "Maybe I was," she replied defiantly with a raised chin.

He burst out laughing. "I see time has not tamed you. Seriously, what did you do?"

She told him about the dust, and his smile turned into a scowl by the end of her story.

"You were hot again," he sighed heavily to himself. "I wish you wouldn't do that. Your wings can be damaged from not just cold but heat too."

She suddenly paled and swayed. He scooped her up in his arms and gently laid her down. "Don't go swooning over me," he half teased with concern in his eyes and felt her brow. "Are you alright?"

She nodded and started to push herself up to a sit. He helped her and kept an arm around her just in case. "I think I wore myself out."

He carefully gathered her in his arms as if she was a fragile flower and then lifted her without any effort. "You need to go home and rest." He started walking over to his owl with her.

She felt so safe and protected in his powerful arms, and she let her cheek rest on his muscular torso. Then her head snapped up when he said he was taking her home. "You're leaving?"

The panic in her voice cut right through him. He swallowed hard and set her up on the bird. He had to tell her, but it would be best to do it where she could cry in private. "We need to talk," he said and climbed up. When she wrapped her arms around his middle, his chest twisted.

Her hands shook the slightest bit as she wrapped her arms around him to hold on. There was something bothering him. And it was serious. "You're getting warm. We need to go back to the border." A sense of dread filled her when he turned toward winter without a word.

He could sense her fear, and it broke his heart what he was about to tell her.

They landed in spring and he got down before reaching up for her.

Either he had gotten so used to not having wings that it didn't register she could fly down, or he wanted to help her. She slid down into his arms and laid her hands and forehead on his chest, swallowing hard. "You need to go in the lake," she whispered.

He reluctantly let go and jumped into the river, knowing he was pushing his limits of being outside of the North Woods for so long. She watched him climb out, greedily trying to memorize the way his muscles rippled and how he moved with grace as he frosted himself. Her stomach hurt because she knew he was getting ready to leave her. "Don't," she suddenly wept.

He looked up in surprise to see her face crumple.

"Don't leave me again," she begged.

Tears filled his eyes and he crossed back over into spring to take her hands. "Don't cry," he pleaded and brushed away her tears. "Clarion, I need to tell you something." He took a shaky breath, wishing he could stay right here forever. She looked up at him with a broken heart, making it even harder to have to crush her hope. "Clarion, I can't give you an heir," he whispered.

"I know," she sniffled.

He blinked. "You know?" His brow furrowed. "How?"

Her eyes grew wide, realizing what she had said. He wasn't going to like this, not one bit. "I had fairies give me updates on you twice a month," she winced.

His eyebrows rose. "Dewey and Sled are the only ones who know I can't father a child. I know Dewey wouldn't go spewing something that personal," he growled angrily and started pacing.

"Don't be angry with Sled and Gliss."

He spun around. "Gliss too?!"

She bit her lip. "Milori, I couldn't let you just walk away. I love you and worried about you. You can't tell me tha you never once asked after me."

His eyes cut through her. "I avoided fairies so I wouldn't have to hear about you!" Her startled look made him sigh. "I didn't mean it like that. I watched you at your window every morning, but I never had anyone spying on you." He thrusted a finger at the ground.

"It wasn't spying. I just worried about you being holed up, and they brought me updates when you were in surgery. I cared about you," she pleaded with him to understand.

"And I didn't you?!" he boomed. "I was trying to send fairies to the border a few days ago when it was raining because I thought you were miscarrying! I sat in a tree for two days trying to get a glimpse of you to see if you were alright!" he barked.

"Miscarrying?"

"I saw you rubbing your belly and smiling. And then there were tiny shooting stars," he said as he paced. "How was I not supposed to think you weren't pregnant?" he snorted.

"I was thinking about having your baby. That maybe in a few more years you'd be warm enough to mate," she said softly.

He snorted and stopped pacing to look at her. "Not in this lifetime."

The anger in him was so great that she didn't recognize him. Where was her gentle, soft winter fairy who used to banter and laugh with her? "Why are you doing this?" she sniffled. "If Tinkerbell's wing frost works, we can—"

"What?" he asked with a furrowed brow, his heart breaking. What had he been thinking to give into his desires? She thought there was hope for them. "We can live in the North Woods? I'm too cold!"

"But you're not! You're colder than you once were, but you're not too cold anymore! I don't care that you can't have children—!"

"You should care!" he shouted and flung his arm out, his eyes brimming with anger. "Pixie Hollow depends on you providing the next queen! You would sacrifice every one of them for half a lifetime with me?!"

Searching his eyes, she calmly said, "We will figure something out."

He turned away from her so fast that he stumbled a step, losing his balance.

"I don't understand what happened to you. You're so angry," she whispered. "You used to tell me that I could do anything. You used to love me."

That made him turn to her with grief in every line of his beautiful face. "I left because I love you. I won't let you tie yourself to a broken fairy," he said quietly and walked back into winter, leaving his cape behind with her.

She wrapped his cape around her shoulders to protect her wings and ran into winter. She caught his arm and ran in front of him. His eyes seemed old from hardships she did not yet fully understand. "If you won't fight for us, I will," she declared, her face fierce and determined.

He shook his head. "There is nothing for you to take worth fighting for."

"Yes, there is." She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders tight as soon as he was down far enough so he wouldn't bolt. She could not win his war if she didn't first conquer him. So she kissed him deeply and pressed her body to his, forcing his instincts to react stronger than his head.

And he did. He let out a soft groan deep in his chest, and his arms pulled her closer, needing to feel every inch of her against him. How many times he had dreamed of holding her like this, he could no longer count. She ran her hands through his hair and over his back, seducing him. He was so hungry for her that he couldn't fight the emotions she was awakening from the dead in him. His wings started to flutter, ready to take flight to mate. A cry of pain rang out from his lips and he stumbled back away from her, sinking to his hands and knees. He breathed hard through the pain. Not like this. He didn't want her to see him like this.

"I'm sorry, I—" she said in startled confusion. And then she realized it was his back. Running forward and dropping to her knees beside him, she felt his back tight and hard. He tried to blindly push her away, but she caught his hand and gently lowered it to rest in her lap while holding it tight, countering his hard grip from pain. "It's alright," she said softly and scooped up snow to rub it on his back in hopes of easing his pain.

Once the pain had passed, he was still with his head bowed. He wouldn't lift his head to look at her, and she knew he was ashamed. "Milori?" she said softly and gently cupped his cheek to turn his head to meet her eyes. "We can do this," she whispered and brushed a kiss over his lips. Then she stood and held down her hand to him.

He stared at it for a moment, unsure what he was feeling. He slowly took her hand and looked up at her. Nothing was looking down at him from her eyes but love. Hope started to peek through the clouds. Hope—he didn't even remember what that emotion felt like. Holding her eyes, he slowly stood. But he was so focused on her that he forgot to compensate for his uneven weight, and he fell backwards into a snow bank, pulling her down with him. She landed on his chest, and he was worried she was hurt until he shook the snow off his face and saw her laughing.

"Clarion?" he asked seriously.

She leaned up on his chest and looked down at him, her hair falling loose like a curtain around them. Her smile faded at the sorrow she saw in his eyes. "I'm not laughing at you," she said quickly in concern.

"No, I know." He took a deep breath for courage. "I can't promise I'll ask you to be with me. I have so little to offer you. We don't even know if this will work." He stroked her cheek.

She cupped his hand on her cheek and smiled down at him, her face so dazzling with love and happiness. Years lifted from her, and she looked like the young fairy he had met so many years ago. "You taught me that we can do anything, Milori. In time you will ask me to be yours," she said softly with certainty and then leaned down to kiss him.


	9. Chapter 9

Tinkerbell sat around a campfire that night with the warm fairies to keep away the bats. She popped a marshmallow on the end of a twig and started roasting it. Fawn had her cheeks packed, mimicking a chipmunk while Silvermist and Iridessa giggled. Vidia rolled her eyes. Rosetta was staring off into space.

"Rosetta?" Tink asked.

She sighed dreamily. "He was perfect."

"What?"

"That winter fairy."

All eyes swung around to her. "You aren't falling for a winter fairy, right?" Vidia asked dryly.

She sat upright. "Why not? Queen Clarion and Lord Milori looked happy."

Vidia snorted. "Yeah, after, like, a million years of misery. Plus, he broke his wing."

"But we can frost warm wings now and cross," Tink cut in proudly.

"What?" Silvermist gasped. "I don't know if that's safe."

"I tried it with Peri. We figured that if my wing tore, we could fix it again. It worked! I was there all day!" she cried with glee.

Vidia raised an eyebrow. "Oh good, we're going to all go run into winter because one test worked. Goodbye, life. Yeah, I don't think so."

Rosetta grabbed Tink's hand. "Try me tomorrow!" Then her gaze wandered back up to the stars. "Can you imagine if that fairy and I could have babies? They would be the most gorgeous fairies ever," she sighed. Then she saw everyone staring at her. "What? They would."

"What if all the ice I touch melts winter?!" Silvermist cried and clasped her cheeks in horror. "I might kill all of the winter fairies!"

There was absolute silence as they all looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Ah, no," Tink said and turned her attention back to the group. "I talked to Peri, and she said that this fairy, Spike, is the best froster ever! Well, besides Lord Milori—"

Fawn gasped. "Did you see Lord Milori kissing Queen Clarion?" she cut in.

"It was positively romantic," Rosetta sighed.

Vidia looked at Rosetta sideways. "Do you think maybe we should take her to the hospital? There must be something wrong with her."

Tink's head dropped to her chin in exasperation. "Can I finish what I was saying?"

"In a minute," Iridessa said and jumped in the conversation. "I heard them arguing at the border later."

"Noooo," they all cooed and leaned in. Tink cocked her head, confused by this when Queen Clarion had described her love story with such regret.

"What did they say?" Rosetta asked.

"I don't know. I left because I didn't think I should snoop, but it sounded like Lord Milori was leaving her."

"What?!" they all gasped.

"He can't do that!" Tink cried and shot to her feet.

Vidia grabbed her wrist and yanked her back down. "We don't even know what they were arguing about, and it's none of our business."

Silvermist gasped in horror. "What do you mean? Queen Clarion deserves happiness, and—"

"And we will stay out of it," Vidia finished.

Tink leaned forward. The others leaned in too and started whispering a plan while Vidia crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to get into what surely would be a disaster if Tink was involved.

Clarion woke up in her bed with the sun shining through the window. It was the first time in centuries that she had slept past sunrise. She stretched in bed lazily and rolled over to hug her pillow, smiling when she remembered how Milori had kissed her when Thomas had found her at the border and dragged her home, claiming she had a dozen duties to attend to now. Yes, there was damage on the borders of fall and spring before the winter fairies had gotten a chance to frost over there. But nothing but plants had died, so she didn't let that ruin her perfect day. She bounced out of bed, remembering what Milori had said about watching her from a tree in the morning. Wondering if he would still do it, she ran barefoot across the rug and threw open the windows with her summer nightdress on and loose locks blowing in the fresh summer air. Her eyes searched the winter trees with her heart dancing in anticipation.

An owl rose up from the trees a moment later with a glow on its back.

A smile split her lips and she laughed with joy, waving at him. He was too far for her to see, but rumor was that winter fairies had eyes like hawks—he could probably see her. She'd have to ask him if that was true. When he flew back into winter, she turned to get ready for her day.

She felt to happy to be burdened with guards, so she slipped out her window in a pink glittering dress. She sighed, right now wishing her love for Milori wouldn't overflow her glittering from her wings into her dress because it would be easy for the guards to spot her. Then she took off in her bare feet, feeling the wind whistle past her ears and tug at her long braid. It felt good to not have her hair in a topknot—she hadn't worn it any other way since Milori had walked away because it reminded her to always keep her appearance and emotions in check like a queen. She didn't want to fly today because the Queen was always expected to fly and be graceful and proper. But today she wasn't a queen. Today she was free. She darted through the summer grass, relishing in its cool plushness under her feet. She let her feet carry her where they may, leaping over bubbling streams and quickly jumping from flower to flower when the grass became too tall. She laughed and the butterflies came out of the trees to follow her music. They flew with her, beating their wings fast to keep up.

Milori watched her from an evergreen at the border, having turned back from winter when he had seen her leap out her window. He was absolutely mesmerized by her beauty. She was so carefree and full of joy. The scene was too beautiful to disturb. A true smile pulled at his lips, and he glanced at where she was headed. The cabin. He knew it was still there, hidden behind the brush. She had kept it in pristine condition all these years. He flew down on his owl and landed on the ground. He glanced over and saw her, still oblivious to his presence, and racing as fast as she could to the cabin with ladybugs, rabbits, squirrels and chipmunks all happily running behind her. He understood the animals how the Queen's joy caused every living thing to want to follow her. He smiled and started running toward the winter side of the cabin.

She spotted Milori running at an angle to the winter side of the cabin, smiling at her. She laughed and ran faster, not caring that her hair was windblown and her feet her dirty with her dress flapping around her calves. He clearly was used to using his legs more than her because his steps ate up ground faster than hers, but she was closer to the cabin. Leaping up the front steps, they reached the door, face to face at the same time, looking at each other. He was slightly breathless but she was panting having run since the castle. There was nothing she couldn't do today. Grabbing his shirtfront, she swung him around against the door and kissed him, pushing him back into their cabin. She wrapped her arms around him and fluttered her wings lightly, helping him keep his balance as he stumbled backward through the door, their lips still locked as he wrapped his arms around her.

He let her guide him through the cabin, not caring if she walked him backwards into a wall. She tasted like honey and roses, her skin so warm and silky against his. Then he felt the cold and opened his eyes to see they were standing at the foot of the bed, each in their own season. He pulled his head back a bit. "Clarion, if we're caught—"

"Shhh," she whispered against his lips and continued kissing him softly like a butterfly. "It's not as if we're going to mate," she breathed and gave him a deep kiss.

"Clarion," he protested weakly.

She pulled his arms around her tighter. "Don't call me Clarion," she whispered, sprinkling kisses over his neck. "She's so stuffy and practical. Today I'm simply your sweetheart." She kissed him deeply.


	10. Chapter 10

Clarion walked out to the front porch of the cabin a bit later, her cheeks rosy and hair loose. Milori staggered out behind her, his eyes still glazed over. She ran her fingers through her locks in an attempt to comb them. Milori slumped against the porch post.

"Are you alright?" she laughed.

"Uh huh," he said in a daze. "Wow. You are lucky I can't mate." He pushed himself away from the post and stepped over into the spring side to help her get out a tangle. "That massage thing you did to my back while kissing me was not fair."

She looked over her shoulder while he worked out the knot behind her. "Admit it, it helped your back."

He shrugged. "There." He smoothed down her hair after getting the knot out.

Turning around to face him as she started braiding her hair over her shoulder, she looked him up and down.

"Hm?"

Her brow furrowed. "You aren't getting too warm? We just spent the better part of a half hour in spring."

He blinked, just realizing it himself.

"Do you feel alright?"

"I do," he frowned in confusion and looked at her.

She felt his brow and chest to find him cool but not overly much. "I think we should go ask Dewey."

"We?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

Hers rose too. "I have a right to come find out if something is wrong with you."

"Oh you do?" he asked, slightly amused that she was the only fairy not afraid to challenge the Lord of Winter.

"Yes. Now, since you've so ungraciously stolen my whole morning, I demand a ride back home to get my cape," she said haughtily with a twinkle in her eye.

He burst out laughing. "My apologies, my lady," he replied, the chuckle still in his voice. "But we do have duties to attend to today."

She tied the vine on the end of her braid and sighed. "I don't want to go."

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek atop her head. "Me either," he whispered.

"Promise if I don't go with you that you'll tell me what Dewey says. The full story. And that you'll go today."

"I will." He whistled for his owl and noticed Clarion looking a bit distressed. "Sweetheart?"

"I was just thinking about something Thomas told me a few days ago," she said lightly, pushing those dark thoughts away. Then she grabbed his hand to tug him along. "Race me to...what's your owl's name?"

"He doesn't have one."

Her eyebrows went up and she stopped in her tracks on the steps. "Why?"

"You," he said with a smile and tapped the tip of her nose with his finger, "ask too many questions."

"What if we name him..."

"No!" he said quickly, not wanting her to pick a name and make it so much harder for him to lose another owl. His heart beat nervously because he knew that by the time the owl passed, he likely wouldn't be with Clarion anymore. Suffering the loss of her again and then something she loved was more than he could bear.

"Blizzard?" she said just as Milori spoke. She looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh. You don't have to," she said quickly, not sure why he looked so crestfallen.

Hie looked out over winter, trying to gain control as his throat constricted with threatening tears. He loved everything about Clarion, and even if he never spoke the owl's name, he would always remember that she had blessed the bird with one. "No, that's perfect," he said quietly, loving the name simply because she had chosen it.

"Milori? I didn't mean to upset you," she said in confusion and went back up a step to be beside him and stroke his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"It just...it makes it harder when they die. I've had nearly 30 owls, and it's just easier to keep them as a way to get around, nothing more." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry. There's no need to name him..." She went over to the owl when he hooted at her in curiosity. She stroked his chest and looked up at him. "Do you always have males?"

She didn't realize it, but seeing her bonding with the bird only reminded him of how she had adored Mountain. He walked over, accepting the fact that this owl would already be difficult to lose. "Yes. Females often to to lay their eggs and then disappear for a couple months," he answered.

Blizzard leaned hard into her scratching his chest and made her stumble back. Milori darted forward between them with a firm hoot to make Blizzard step back before he crushed Clarion.

"Sorry," Milori said and stepped back beside her. "He wasn't trained to be still when being petted like Mountain was."

She searched his face as he looked up at the bird. She was gradually realizing that he kept his heart locked away to avoid pain, and he was missing out on so much of life. Slowly taking his hand, she set it against Blizzard's chest and gently held it there.

He looked at her with uncertainty.

"Love him, Milori," she said softly. "You cannot live if you hide. Sometimes it is painful but life is worth the pain." She let go of his hand and touched his cheek. "If you get cold again and have to remain in the North Woods forever, I will never regret that we met. I would rather have had months with you than never. I'm not afraid to love you fiercely enough for a lifetime in every single second, even if right now might be all that we have. I will not let one minute pass when I hold back." She stood on her toes and brushed her lips over his, seeing the fear and tears in his eyes. He bowed his head and laid his forehead against hers, so obviously needing strength that it broke her heart. "I vow that when you ask me to be your mate, I won't deny you. I don't care about your wing and I wish you wouldn't either. We can figure out what to do about an heir and if you must return to the North Woods."

He pulled back and stroked her cheek softly with his cool knuckles. "You are so sure about us," he said softly to himself, slightly in awe. "I don't want you to get your hopes up and be crushed, sweetheart. I can't make you any promises about anything. You deserve—"

"Someone I love," she finished, cupped his hand on her cheek and closed her eyes to relish his touch. Then she looked up into his caramel eyes. "Have a little faith, Milori." The moment passed, and then she took his hand and pulled him along the side of Blizzard. "Don't be sad. Have fun with me, honey."

"Honey?" he smiled and lifted her up onto Blizzard.

"Because your eyes look like honey," she grinned with a laugh of happiness.

Blizzard started bobbing his head in response to her laugh and pranced, anxious to fly.

Milori gave a shrill whistle and Blizzard stilled. Then he hefted himself up quickly and grabbed the reins. "You make him giddy, sweetheart."

She wrapped her arms around his middle. "You or the owl?" she teased.

He laughed. "Both."

She leaned closer and purred in his ear, "There is at least one perk to you needing to walk and climb things...it gives you fine muscles."

He belly laughed and they flew to her castle window. Clarion flew into her room, smiling at Milori as he flew away.

"Queen Clarion!"

She spun to see Thomas and several guards come flying into her room.

He landed and put his hands on his knees and held his chest. "You gave us a heart attack." He straightened and nodded for the other guards to go back to their duties. Then he turned to her, stress clearly evident on his face. "I beg you to let me know if you leave."

She smiled. "Thomas, I was fine. I ran into Lord Milori and he returned me home after a bit."

He suddenly seemed to realize her state of dress. His wide eyes ran down her braid, pink dress and dirty bare feet before shooting back up to her face. "Should I ask?"

"I went for a walk," she smiled and spun in a circle with her arms out. "It was wonderful!"

He looked distressed. "You cannot go out without a guard or at least Lord Milori."

"Oh, Thomas, you worry so much." She flew over to her wash basin so as not to track dirty footprints across the rug, and she started washing her feet.

"You don't understand. One of the guards confirmed our suspicion," he said gravely.

She spun around to look at him and knocked over the basin, her heart racing. The rag fell from her hand.

"Tink, this is not a good idea!" Vidia said firmly later that evening at the fall and winter border.

"I'm not so sure about this anymore either," Rosetta said skeptically as Tink tossed her coat into the carriage.

"Oh, I think it's romantic," Silvermist spoke up. "A sleigh ride into winter and Lord Milori sees how beautiful she looks...IN winter! How could he not think about them being together?" She clasped her hands together under her chin dreamily.

"There's no harm in it," Fawn said and brought over the rabbit to start hooking him up to the ice sleigh Peri had made.

"But telling Queen Clarion that Lord Milori asked to see her isn't nice," Iridessa said. "What if he refuses to come?"

"That's why Peri is going to tell him that I need to talk to him outside. The sleigh will be waiting with Queen Clarion right there," she smiled.

"Do you know where he is, Peri?" Tink asked.

"I saw him at the library with Dewey a little bit ago."

"I'll bring Queen Clarion," Tink said. "Is everyone coming?"

"Yes!" they all cried, excited to see the two lovers reunited.

"Get your coats and then wait here."

"Coats?" They all looked at each other.

"I don't have one yet," Rosetta said, terribly disappointed she couldn't see if she could catch a glimpse of that winter fairy again. She really should ask Peri his name, but she was too shy.

"Me either," Fawn and the others spoke up.

"Oh," Tink said with disappointment. "Well, Peri and I can do it."

"Yes! They mustn't be apart any longer or he might forget what she looks like," Silvermist said.

They blinked at her.

"You know what I mean!"

"Alright, I'll go get the Queen." Tink flew off and so did Fawn, Silvermist, Rosetta, Iridessa and Vidia so Queen Clarion wouldn't get suspicious seeing them all there.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Vidia said as they flew away.


	11. Chapter 11

Clarion had a grueling day talking with the ministers and guards. To make matters worse, it was late evening and she still hadn't heard from Milori if he had talked to Dewey. She had difficulty concentrating all day, half scared that something was wrong with Milori and if he needed to return to the North Woods. He promised he would let her know, so she would wait. He probably just didn't have time to go to Dewey yet. She told herself it wasn't because there was something seriously wrong that he hadn't sent word. Then a thought struck her on the way to her chambers, and she stopped mid-flight, suddenly landing on her feet. Maybe he had to be in a winter fairy hospital because something was terribly wrong. Then common sense caught up with her hysterical imagination. Winter fairies didn't have a hospital. But still, maybe he was too ill to send word. Running a hand over her face, she tried to get a grip on herself. She was driving herself crazy all day thinking about what ifs.

Resuming flight because her legs were sore from their overuse earlier this morning, she went to her bedchamber. She was getting ready to climb into a hot bath and wash the dirt and pollen out of her hair from her jaunt earlier that day when there was a knock on the door. Couldn't a queen get some peace? With a grumble, she flew over and opened it.

Tink was standing there looking slightly nervous with her hands tucked behind her back.

"Why, Tinkerbell," she said in surprise and landed. "Is everything alright?

Tink looked up at her. "Queen Clarion," she said softly. "Lord Milori asked to see you in winter."

Clarion's heart leapt into her throat. Something was wrong if he wanted to see her in winter, especially when it would be dark soon. He rarely wanted her over there because he feared her wings getting too cold. She also remembered he had been adamant centuries ago that she not be over there at night because the wolves or mountain lions could easily catch her being she couldn't fly in winter. She flew across her room and grabbed her cape, panic rising in her throat. Opening the window, she turned to Tinkerbell and waved a hand, frustrated why the young fairy was dawdling in the doorway. "Come!" She dove out the window.

Tink flew after her, confused why Queen Clarion was in such a hurry. She shrugged. At least it hadn't been difficult getting her out the door.

Clarion was so distraught that she didn't think about needing to fly slower for Tinkerbell. She got to the border and realized she didn't know where Milori wanted to meet her. Turning, she saw Tinkerbell coming around the bend, her trail of pixie dust in the air sparkling as the sun began to set behind her.

"This way!" Tink waved for her to follow.

Clarion flew with Tinkerbell, pushing her to keep up. Clarion's entire focus was on getting to Milori and finding out what was wrong. The warmth in his body this morning had worried her. If he had continued getting warmer all day then...

"Should you have a guard?" Tinkerbell broke into her thoughts.

Clarion shook her head, her eyes focused ahead. "I'm not waiting for a guard."

Tink frowned but guided her to where Peri waited with the sleigh.

"Why do we need a sleigh? We need to get there quick?" Clarion asked nervously.

Peri and Tink looked at each other in confusion.

"No, it's just easier than walking. We have only tested out frosting wings on me, so we don't think it wise to frost your wings yet," Tink explained.

Clarion climbed in the sleigh quickly and they took off, the ride only slightly bumpy from the rabbit's hops with Tinkerbell's suspension system built into the sleigh.

"Does the Queen seem jumpy to you?" Tink whispered to Peri.

Peri looked at Clarion sitting on the edge of her seat. "She must be excited to see him."

Tink and Peri flew alongside the sleigh, both smiling at the surprise in store.

Milori sat in the chair at Dewey's house with Dewey and a healer-like fairy Spruce, who had become Milori's healer of sorts. Like Milori, Spruce had white hair but he was slender and a hint shorter. His eyes were fiercely blue and intelligent. Spruce proved to be one of the best healer-like fairies in winter and excelled in figuring out Milori's unusual predicament of being a below-freezing temperature fairy.

"This is very unusual," Dewey said as he flipped through his books while Spruce took a sugar sample from the crook of Milori's arm while Milori sat on a stool in the middle of the room.

Spruce withdrew the hollowed pine needle from Milori's arm and pressed a gauze over the puncture wound.

"Could it be permanent?" Milori asked and held the gauze for Spruce.

"I don't think so," Dewey said.

Spruce looked skeptical but didn't say a word as he turned with the the vial of Milori's sugar to the bowls on the coffee table. He dripped some of the sugar over ice, grass and snow in the bowls and bent down to observe the reactions. "Your sugar stops glowing on the grass, slightly on the snow. It's still brightest on the ice."

Milori sighed. "So I still need to be in the North Woods."

"Not necessarily," Spruce said and scratched his head as he studied how the sugar was reacting. "Let's check your temperature." He put a small stick of ice, an icemometer, under Milori's tongue and waited.

"What time is it?" Milori asked Dewey around the icemometer sticking out of his mouth.

"Quiet," Spruce ordered.

Milori sighed in irritation. Spruce took his healing very seriously, but Milori really needed to see Clarion before dark or she'd worry all night for nothing that something was wrong with him. He didn't want her to try venturing outside after dark because she was worried.

They all waited while Spruce timed the ice.

After two minutes, Spruce took it out and measured the length and width. "It melted far faster than most winter fairies. He's about half as warm as a warm fairy," he frowned. Then he walked around to Milori's back and felt his wings.

Milori flinched.

"Still sore?"

"Always sore," he replied.

"Are you doing your back stretches daily?"

"Yes," Milori sighed. "Religiously like an old cripple."

"You aren't old or crippled," Spruce replied firmly and pressed on a spot on Milori's back just under his broken wing.

Milori's eyes rolled back when the tightness and constant, mini spasming across his entire back immediately ceased. "You have to teach someone how to do that," he moaned.

"Perhaps I'll show Her Highness," Spruce smiled and then carefully lifted Milori's wings now that they wouldn't resist being moved when they were used to always being stationary.

Milori opened his eyes. "Be respectful," he warned.

"I am. It's good to see you happy," Spruce replied. He studied Milori's wings. "You aren't doing wing exercises, are you?"

"It's hard enough getting up in the mornings. Half the time I barely make it through the back stretches. I'm not going to push my luck trying to do wing exercises too."

With a sigh, Spruce sat on the edge of the coffee table before Milori and leaned his elbows on his legs. "I told you that you need to have back massages at least three times a week to keep everything limber. Your wing support frame is getting arthritis because the only time you move your wings is when I do it. I told you that I can do the massages—"

Milori's eyes narrowed. "And I told you that I don't need anyone coddling or to see a healer three times a week," he replied tightly.

"Perhaps I should tell Her Majesty. I have no doubts she'd have you under house arrest if that would get you to comply with treatment." Spruce held his eyes, but Milori didn't back down. Spruce sighed, "Friend, you are harming yourself for no reason. There is no shame in needing help—"

"If I'm not crippled having issues from a broken wing or old from having arthritis, what am I?" Milori challenged.

Spruce ran his hands over his face and turned to Dewey.

"Nope, I tried 'a tellin' him, but he won't listen," Dewey said and turned back to his book he was writing about a winter fairy warming.

Spruce got up and resumed his examination. "Next time I refuse to do anything unless the Queen is present. She'll make sure you comply with treatments." When Milori was silent he said, "I worry about you. I don't know why you think you must swallow pride to get massages to help with your pain."

"I'm not something she needs to take care of like some helpless bird," he answered with shame in his voice.

Spruce kept silent, realizing when he wouldn't get anywhere.

Clarion was growing anxious the longer they rode. She didn't realize the rabbit was growing anxious too in response to her emotions.

The woods were thick and the sun was minutes away from setting. Soon the night animals would come out.

"Almost there," Peri promised them, growing slightly nervous herself being out at dark.

Suddenly, a squirrel darted out in their path, spooking the rabbit.

Clarion was flung back in her seat when the rabbit jerked to the right and took off at a dead run.

"No!" Tink and Peri cried and shot after the sleigh to stop the rabbit.

The sleigh was flung from side to side against the trees, Clarion like a helpless ping pong ball inside it as she was tossed around before she could even react. She slammed against the left side of the sleigh, crushing her arm before she was thrown to the right side where her ribs were smashed. Trying to get a grip on her cape to free her wings so she could fly out, she suddenly heard Periwinkle scream.

The rabbit tore out of the forest and into a clear area. Tink was relieved because maybe they could catch the rabbit, who was supposed to follow them, without having to dodge trees and brush.

"No!" Periwinkle screamed as they soared after the sleigh. "It's a lake!"

Tink heard herself scream when suddenly there was a loud crack and the sleigh, rabbit and Queen disappeared.


	12. Chapter 12

Clarion felt thousands of needles stabbing her as pain worse than she had ever felt exploded through her body. Her chest constricted and she couldn't breathe. Darkness surrounded her. It took her a moment for her mind to come out of shock and realize she was under water.

She felt something cold and hard overhead and realized it was ice. Her hands searched frantically in the darkness for a hole. She needed air. Suddenly the cold and pain faded and something else took over all of her senses—something far worse. Suffocation. Her body wanted to breathe so badly that she had to fight it to not breathe in water. Her chest started to spasm and her head started to throb. Air. She started clawing at the ice, climbing along it to find the hole she had fallen through. Air. Oh, heavens, she needed it desperately, her chest trying to convulse instinctively to draw it in. It was so dark that everything was black. Her hands started shaking with fear. Air! She needed air! The panic rose and her wings tried to beat, tangling in her cape. Her hands beat on the ice, desperate for a crack that would give away. Clarion tried to shoot pixie dust at the ice, but the water only let it burst from her hand a millimeter before the dust went dark and floated away. She felt her body slowing down as it ran out of air and her movements becoming clumsy from the bitter cold.

Tink and Peri fell to their knees at the hole, frantically reaching into the water to see if they could feel anything.

"Queen Clarion!" Peri cried and jumped into the water. She came back up a moment later. "I can't find her! It's too black!" She climbed out. The nightfall didn't help with only the moon and their own glows offering light.

"Break the ice!" Tink yelled, scooping away snow to see if she could see though the ice to find the Queen.

Peri kept digging around inside the hole. "I can't! My frost will make it stronger!"

"Go get Lord Milori! Tell him to bring help! I don't know the way to the library! Go!" she cried.

Peri frosted her wings dry and took off.

Tink wept as she found a branch and tried stabbing the thick ice. The branch snapped in two on the second hit. "Queen Clarion!" she screamed hopelessly, having no idea where the Queen had floated to.

Something brushed Clarion. Something warm. She grabbed it and felt fur. It surged up through the water, dragging her along. They blessedly broke through the surface of the hole. Clarion gasped in air, panting hard as the rabbit tried to swim with the sleigh weighing him down. They kept bobbing under water, both of them choking as the rabbit fought to keep them afloat.

"Tinkerbell!" Clarion cried when she saw the young fairy flying over. Clarion tried to shoot out dust from her hand to help them fly out, but it wouldn't work. This was not the time to find out dust didn't work when it was wet.

"Queen Clarion! Peri went for Lord Milori!" She grabbed Clarion's arm and beat her wings hard to help drag them toward the edge of the hole that kept breaking away when the rabbit would try to climb out.

The wind had picked up, and Clarion suddenly realized how cold she was. Her hair was plastered to her face and quickly forming icicles, and she couldn't feel her legs or wings in the water. Her hands were so cold she couldn't keep a grip on anything—Tink was the only thing keeping her head above water.

Try as Tink might, her wings were too small to pull the Queen out, so she fought to hold up the Queen until help arrived.

"Cut the harness!" Clarion yelled and managed to grab a handful of the rabbit's wet fur.

Tink let go of her and shot to the woods to find something sharp, both the Queen and rabbit bobbing under water again.

Tinkerbell came back with a sharp rock and hovered over the rabbit, sawing the vines. It finally gave away and the rabbit bobbed up. Clarion was jerked under water, with a handful of fur in her hand.

"Nooo!" Tink screamed and plunged her arms under.

Peri reached the library minutes later, yelling frantically for Dewey or Lord Milori. No one was there. She started weeping harder, trying to think of where they would be. Lord Milori was the only one who could command winter enough to help Queen Clarion.

Clarion was dragged back under without a breath, something pulling her under. She felt Tinkerbell's fingers and grabbed on. Something furry plunged down and she grabbed it with her other hand, slowly being pulled back up.

As soon as her head was above the surface, she coughed and gasped in air. The rabbit had his head down and was trying to pull her out by his ears, but the ice was cracking beneath him. Clarion held Tink's hand tight and grabbed the edge of the ice. "Go!" she commanded the rabbit before he fell in again. "Get Lord Milori!" she coughed.

The rabbit backed up with scared, confused eyes.

"Go!"

He ran into the woods.

Tink fluttered as hard as she could, but she was slowly losing momentum to counter Clarion's weight. "Queen Clarion, I need more dust!" she cried.

"I can't while I'm wet!" she panicked. Tinkerbell was only centimeters above the ice, and Clarion was so cold her hands couldn't get a grip on the ice. Her body was shaking from the cold and her skin was terribly blue. "Go get help!"

"No!" Tink cried and flapped harder, but her dust was gone and she landed on her feet.

Tears came to Clarion's eyes as she watched the poor fairy fight with everything she could to get traction to hold Clarion's arm to keep her head out of water. The ice started cracking under her. Tink would fall in too. She wouldn't let Tink die, and if her own time was up, she wasn't going to let Tink go through the horror of watching her drown.

"Go!" Clarion ordered and grabbed the edge of the ice, breaking her nails to get a strong grip. She kicked her legs and flapped her wings—or so she thought but didn't know because her body was numb with cold. She had to stay above water just long enough to get Tink to leave. She knew Tink well enough to know Tink would jump in after her even though there was no hope for Clarion. She wouldn't let Tinkerbell die. "Go!"

Tink backed up with tears on her face, turned and ran as fast as she could.

The wind whipped around her, making her lungs hurt to breathe. She was suddenly terrified being all alone in the cold harshness of winter. The lake was huge and ice went on and one. There was no hope of breaking the ice edges over and over to eventually reach land. She clawed at the ice, managing to get up on her elbows at one point with a great deal of effort. The sleigh had to be caught on her leg. The ice cracked and she plunged back under water, catching the edge of the ice with her hand and fighting to get back up. She broke above the water and clawed, desperate to get a grip to keep from drowning. Her nails broke and sugar trails covered the ice from her fingertips. She gasped and coughed, constantly pulled under water every time she managed to get a breath as she madly scrambled to get traction with her fingers that had gone numb. The weight of whatever was pulling her down was finally too much. She was pulled under and tried swimming up, but the light of the hole drifted farther and farther away. Her hand reached up, desperately trying to release dust in one final attempt. One particle released from her hand before she was swallowed up into the blackness.


	13. Chapter 13

Periwinkle burst through Dewey's door in sobs.

Milori stood, both surprised to see her bursting in and confused why she was in tears. "Periwinkle?"

She flew over, gasping from sobs. "Q, Queen...f, f, fell..."

His heart stopped and he grabbed her shoulders. "Queen Clarion?"

"Under i, i, ice! Drowning!" she wailed.

"Where?" he demanded, already running for the door.

"Frost lake!"

"Spruce, come with me! Dewey, warn the hospital we're coming!" He jumped on Blizzard and tore off, not even waiting for answers.

He pushed Blizzard the fastest they had ever gone. The owl seemed to sense his urgency and ripped through the sky without question. It only took seconds to reach the lake at their incredible speed, but Milori knew they didn't have even that much time to spare. Even a winter fairy couldn't tolerate Frost Lake for more than ten minutes. He didn't want to think what a few seconds would do to a warm fairy. Then he saw Tinkerbell running out from the woods onto the lake, waiving her arms.

"She's caught on the sled!" Tink yelled as loud as she could as he flew overhead.

He was terrified. Frost Lake was deep and dark. He could swim right next to her and not realize it. His only hope was Clarion would still be glowing from a hint of life left in her. Spotting the hole in the ice, he took Blizzard high into the clouds and then soared down, the wind screaming in his ears to go faster. Blizzard screeched, flapping and flinging his legs to claw through the air faster and faster. Using their velocity, he dove off of Blizzard through the ice near the hole where she had gone in, using his talents to force the cracks from his plunge to shatter the ice across the entire lake so he could surface with Clarion wherever she was. Blizzard's claws sliced the ice at the last second and he suddenly changed direction back into the sky, barely escaping crashing through the ice himself.

The water was freezing when Milori crashed into it and started swimming down into the darkness. Everything was black, not a single flicker of a glow could be seen anywhere. He swam hard and fast, for the first time grateful for his broken wing because his muscles were honed stronger than any fairy's and allowed him to cut through the water fast without tiring. It was hopelessly black, even his glow not allowing him to see past his fingers. They were out of time and she needed to get out. Now. Milori swam fast up to the surface, pushing up under a chunk of ice. He whistled for Blizzard, who soared down and picked him up. Milori saw winter fairies pulling aside chunks of ice in hopes of seeing her under the water. "Everyone back!" he roared over the wind.  
He had no idea if it would work, but it was his last hope. He focused all of his energy, praying he could still do it after centuries of not practicing with his talents. He swooped down over the lake, drawing up the water to follow him as he tore with Blizzard into the clouds, freezing the water drops into millions of snowflakes. The first time only drained the lake half down, but it was enough. He jumped off of Blizzard from the clouds into the water. "Bring your light!" Milori yelled at the crashed into the water painfully hard and started to make out shadows as the fairies gathered above, their glows giving him light. Then he saw her on the bottom of the lake so peaceful with her eyes closed and her hair billowing around her angelic face in her beautiful pink dress. He tore down and found where her ankle was tangled in the sleigh vines. Ripping the vine with excessive force from his heart thundering in his ears, he gathered Clarion in his arms and pushed off the lake floor to shoot up to the surface. She felt cold even to him.

He cradled her against him, arching his back to take the blow to protect her as they slammed against a chunk of ice at the surface. He handed her to the winter fairies and they held her as he climbed on Blizzard. Then he carefully took her and commanded Blizzard to race to the border.

She was so blue and deathly still. He couldn't find a heartbeat, so he carefully laid her on Blizzard's back and compressed her chest. There was no sound. He blinked, having expected water to come up. Leaning down, he blew into her mouth and choked when he inhaled some pixie dust from in her mouth. Slipping his finger between her lips, he looked inside to see her dust packed down her throat. Somehow she must have managed to draw all of her dust into her airways to prevent drowning and use the dust to try to stay alive.

"Good girl," he croaked and scooped dust out of her mouth with his fingers to rub it over her skin and get her airways open again for the healers. He compressed her chest again to pump her heart. His lip started quivering and tears dropped from his lashes onto her breast. "I love you," he whispered. He continued compressions all the way to the hospital, never breaking pace for an instant.


	14. Chapter 14

Healers were waiting outside the hospital with a gurney when they arrived. They climbed up Blizzard and slipped Clarion out of Milori's arms, running inside with her.

Milori scrambled down and ran through the hall after her. The door closed in his face. A nurse flew over and guided him back to a chair along the wall. "Let the healers work. They'll take care of her, Lord Milori."

He didn't even know who was speaking to him because he couldn't tear his eyes away from the door. Tissues were pressed into his hand, and he realized he was half sobbing.

Mary, Vidia, Silvermist and a bunch of other fairies came tearing down the hall.

Mary grabbed his hands and bent down to look him in the eye. "Is she...?"

He met her eyes, tears welling faster, and shook his head. "I don't know," he croaked, leaned his elbows on his knees and sobbed into his hands. It hurt. It hurt to be alive. She couldn't have possibly survived the cold that long, much less not having air. He hadn't realized how wonderful it had been just being able to watch her from a distance for all of those centuries. That hadn't been pain. Pain was a world without her. Everything felt so empty and cold. He couldn't go on another four hundred fifty years without her.

Mary's arm went around his shoulders. "It will be alright," she said soothingly.

"No," he sniffled. "She was blue and h, had somehow...packed all of her dust into...her lungs," he wept. "Her heart wasn't beating." He got up and started pacing. He could hear the healers barking orders frantically from within the room.

The young fairies all looked at Fairy Mary with scared eyes. What would happen without the Queen? What would happen to Lord Milori?

Tink came flying in, crying herself. "Is she alright?"

"They're still working on her," Mary said with tears on her cheeks and wrapped an arm around Tink. "Why was she in winter?"

Tink and the fairies wept as they all told about their plan to take the Queen to Lord Milori and abandon them at the library together. They thought maybe Lord Milori would take the Queen home in the sleigh and they would fall in love again after their argument yesterday.

Mary looked at Milori quickly.

He was so angry he didn't move, but he could feel his eyes burning through them, particularly Tinkerbell.

"I'm so sorry," Tinkerbell wept.

"Get out," he breathed, his hands fisted at his sides.

The fairies gasped and Tink paled.

"If she's dead..." he snarled.

"Lord Milori," Mary said softly and set a hand on his arm. Then she turned to Tink. "Tinkerbell, I think you and your friends just need to go home tonight. I'll come by when I can."

Tink flew away in tears, her friends close behind.

Mary turned back to him, knowing this wasn't the time to try to reason with him. "You're getting flushed. Go take a dip quick. I'll stay here just in case."

He shook his head and sank into the chair again. "I'm not leaving," he sniffled and looked down at the floor.

He couldn't believe only that morning he had been running with her through the fields to their cabin. She was too young, too full of life to die. She hadn't mated or had babies or lived yet. He hadn't shown her how to build a snowman or asked her if she liked butterflies or roses more. He didn't know if she liked lying by a fire to read or what was her biggest dream in life. There was so much he hadn't discovered about her yet.

Nurses and healers ran in and out of the room, and he caught a glimpse of Clarion once on the table. She was still and blue.

His face crumpled. Mary wrapped her arms around him. He held handfuls of the back of her shirt and leaned his head down on her shoulder. And he wept gut wrenching sobs.

It was more than an hour later when a healer stepped out.

Milori had been pacing and running his hands through his hair. He looked ancient, disheveled and completely heartbroken. He felt like he was becoming numb, knowing that great pain would soon be coming. Turning to face the healer, every fiber of his body was filled with tension. He literally stopped breathing, waiting for the crushing words.

"Lord Milori, please, have a seat." The healer gestured to the chair beside where Mary sat.

He shook his head, his eyes terrified.

The healer swallowed hard. "This has never happened before, so we don't know how to treat hypothermia like this."

Milori started panting so fast that Mary got up to go support him, fearing he would faint. "Is she...?" he whimpered.

"No, but I don't know if she will make it," the healer admitted.

Milori slid against the wall down to the floor, the shock of everything finally catching up to him.

The healer knelt down beside him and Mary, laying a hand on Milori's shoulder. "She's awake and asking for you."

He blinked in surprise and looked up through his tears. "Awake?"

"Yes." He helped Milori up. "We think that having the dust packed in her lungs saved her. But there was so much we had to suction some out so she could breathe. Her throat is irritated and swollen from it, so she can't speak." He opened the door for Milori.

She laid on the table, her skin bluish and pale, bundled in blankets. An intravenous line came out from under the blankets and crickets were beeping her heartbeat faintly. One arm was laid out perpendicular to her shoulder and a bee had its antennas on her wrist while his stinger was dipped in ink and drawing out her heart rhythm on a paper behind him. A tiny garden snake was curled up in the corner, squeezing and releasing a rose bud that was connected to a thin vine winding up over Clarion's ears and under her nose, blowing rose pollen into her nostrils to help heal her airways that had been scratched terribly from so much pixie dust. She looked so frail and unlike herself that it scared him.

She turned her head to see him and gave a soft smile, her eyelids heavy. She started to pull her arm out from under the blankets but he stepped forward to still her.

"Stay under the blankets so you don't get cold," he said softly and pulled over a chair to sit beside her. He stroked her damp hair from her brow and brushed a kiss over her lips. "I love you," he whispered, tears falling from his eyes again.

She mouthed the words back to him, unable to speak more than a hint of a whisper, and closed her eyes as he stroked her hair.

"We're going to move you to a bed so you'll sleep better," the healer walked through the door and spoke to her gently.

A couple healers got ready to lift her over onto a bed, but Milori stood. "I can lift her." He looked across the bed at the healer.

The healer nodded.

Milori carefully slipped his arm under her head and shoulders and one under her legs, careful of the tubes. His heartstrings pulled when she laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes as he carried her around the table to the bed. Then he laid her down as if she was the most delicate snowflake, carefully tucking the blankets around her again. She looked up at him with a soft smile. Her hand crept out from beneath the blankets to hold his lightly and then she closed her eyes with exhaustion. He swallowed hard, hoping she would be alright and held her hand as she was wheeled into a room.

"You need to get back in winter," Mary said firmly a short while later.

He sat in a chair beside the bed still holding Clarion's hand even though she was asleep. "I'm not leaving her," he said in a thick voice, his eyes not leaving the beautiful angel. He could protect her. He would somehow know before any of them did if she started drifting away. He had to stay and watch over her.

"She needs you here healthy. I will stay with her. Go. You do no good to her if you're collapsing yourself."

He sighed, realizing Mary was right. He was already getting dizzy and couldn't focus on her if he wasn't in top shape. Slowly withdrawing his hand and tucking hers back under the blankets, he stood and leaned over to kiss her brow.

She sensed Milori leaving and opened her eyes to see him at the door. A soft whimper was the only sound she could make yet.

He turned when he heard a cry and saw her awake and looking at him sadly. Quickly taking long strides to return to her, he kissed her cheek. "I need to take a quick swim and then I'll be back. I'm just going to the border, sweetheart. Mary is staying with you until I get back."

The worry in her face smoothed, and she struggled to keep her eyes open.

He leaned down, holding back the tears from his voice. "You wait for me, you hear?" he asked, terrified by the healer saying he didn't know if she'd make it. He held her eyes with tears brimming in his own. "You have to get better so I can ask you to be my mate," he whispered.

The strain and exhaustion left her face but for an instant and she smiled with eyes shining. The light quickly faded, however, but her smile was still there.

He stroked her cheek and she leaned into his hand and closed her eyes, giving a soft kiss to his palm. He brushed a kiss over her lips.

As soon as he exited her room, he took off at a run so he could return as fast as possible. Fear took up residence in his heart. Not even winter fairies stayed as cold as she was for so long after a dive in the water.


	15. Chapter 15

Tinkerbell sat in her room crying with the other fairies gathered around feeling just as guilty.

"I didn't think anything would happen. T, they were supposed to see each other outside the library, a, and he was supposed to realize how much he misses and loves her..." Tink wept from her seat on the edge of her bed and rubbed her eyes.

Terence sat on the edge of her bed and patted her back awkwardly. "Well, he realizes now how much he loves her. She's strong, Tink. Nothing will happen to her," he assured her.

Vidia started pacing. "I knew this was a bad idea. I knew something was going to happen. I should have put a stop to it."

"Vidia!" Fawn scolded through clenched teeth and nodded toward Tink pointedly.

Rosetta sniffled from her perch on the floor along the wall with her arms wrapped around her knees. "It would just be awful if something happens to her. What will happen to Lord Milori then? To Pixie Hollow? What if the Queen's wings are broken!" she cried and shot up ramrod straight. "Did anyone see if they were broken?!"

Silvermist and Iridessa looked at each other and then at the others. Vidia and Rosetta did the same. Fawn looked around blankly. Tink froze. Silence filled the room.

"If she dies, do you think Lord Milori will banish us?" Iridessa asked softly.

"Fairy Mary wouldn't allow it," Terence said firmly. "Neither would I."

"As if you could even stop him," Tink sniffled and looked at the group.

Terence's wings drooped and his hand fell from Tink's back.

"Should I go tell Peri what's going on?" Tink asked.

"Oh yes. The Lord of Winter is ready to have our heads roll and said to leave, so let's go traipsing back into winter. At night," Vidia replied sarcastically with a hand on her hip.

Silence fell over the room as they all stared at the floor.

Clarion drifted in and out of semi-consciousness, muttering Milori's name without once opening her eyes.

Mary fretted, holding Clarion's cold hand and stroking her arm in attempts to sooth her until Milori returned. "He's on his way back," Mary promised and looked out the window into the dark night nervously. Clarion's light was dim, and Mary truly feared her burning out before Milori returned.

Clarion started shivering hard all over her entire body. Her breathing was choppy from the shaking, and she curled up on her side under the blankets.

"Healers!" Mary screamed. She stood and leaned over Clarion, touching her cold cheek. "Clarion, what's wrong? Do you hurt?"

Clarion couldn't understand Mary's words but heard distress in her voice. Her brow furrowed and she curled up her body as tightly as she could, desperate for warmth. It felt like thousands of needles were piercing her flesh everywhere, and she didn't understand why Milori was letting someone hurt her. Her muscles were contracting so rapidly that they were making her sore and exhausted, using up what little of her strength that was left.

Two healers came tearing into the room, and she couldn't comprehend anything anyone said with her mind so sluggish. Lights were flashed at her, and they forced her to turn onto her back and her arms were pulled away from her body. It was then that she realized her wings were tied down with something wrapped around them because her back arched up uncomfortably as she laid on top of them. She couldn't tell if another needle went into her arm or if it was one of the thousands already trying to stab her. It was cold. So cold. Her eyes searched for the one face that wasn't there. Mary was standing in the corner with tears on her face, and Clarion was confused why Mary was crying and not stopping these strangers from holding her down. The strange fairies were looming over her, talking and looking at her as if they were asking questions. She was scared. If she had the strength, she would have tried to fight them. One stabbed a needle in her arm, and she gave a tiny whimper, afraid of what he was doing. Turning her head to the other side, she looked out the door. Why wasn't he here? She couldn't remember what had happened, but she was sure he had been here a minute ago. Why had he left her? Why was he letting these strangers hurt her with so many needles? A tear escaped out of the corner of her eye as the needle-like pains intensified and she tried to drag in enough air to stay conscious.

Milori dragged himself out of the river on the border and whistled for Blizzard. He didn't even bother to dry off but climbed up on the owl to rush back to the hospital, letting the wind dry him.

He tore down the hospital halls. He stopped in his tracks and his chest constrict with fear when he ran into the room and saw healers working on Clarion, who was trembling so hard he thought she was seizuring.

Mary flew over to him, softly crying. "They said it's good she's warming up enough to feel she's cold. But she's painful," Mary wept.

His eyes were glued to Clarion. Or what he could see of her from the waist down while the healers leaned over each side of her to examine her vitals. The bed even shook. Tears gathered in his eyes and he slowly walked over, finding a spot next to one of the healers. The healers each hand a hand, one checking her pulse and the other taking a small sugar sample. Her eyes were squeezed shut as if battling intense pain. Feeling so helpless, he stroked her thigh. A tear fell from his lashes and splashed onto the blanket. "It's alright, sweetheart. We'll get you warm," he promised in a thick voice.

Her eyes fluttered open beneath a brow furrowed with agony. Hearing his voice calmed her. Everything would be alright with him here now. He would make the pain stop and protect her from these strangers. She swallowed hard, trying to focus on him instead of the pain. Instead of how hard it was to breathe. Another tear fell from his beautiful honey eyes, and she wanted to kiss it away and promise that whatever he was worried about would be alright.

One of the healers turned to Milori while the other took away the sugar sample. Milori scooted closer to take the vacant spot and hold Clarion's cold hand. He stroked her hair reassuringly and then looked at the healer.

"Her temperature is rising slightly enough for her to realize she's cold. The pain should pass soon once she gets past this temperature threshold. We'll keep warming her, but you should be aware that she is still at risk for organ damage and pneumonia. Her appendages appear to have frostbite, but we don't think anything substantial enough yet to require amputations."

Milori released a choked sob and brushed away his tears, trying to keep his head.

Mary wept in a chair.

"What about her wings?"

The healer glanced at Clarion, who was curled up on her side again and cradling Milori's hand to her chest.

"We're keeping them wrapped in warm leaves. They don't appear to have frostbite, but we don't want to open them because they're brittle right now from the cold. We'll run the sugarwork and be back in a bit with the results."

He started to walk out when Milori asked, "Would warming the blankets over a fire be better than the warm water bottles packed around her?"

The healer's eyebrows rose in surprise at the idea. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt. But they can't get on her wings because it would be too much of a temperature jump."

Milori built a fire in the grass outside Clarion's window. Mary held blankets over the fire, trading them through the window to Milori for ones that had cooled.

Milori kept a warm blanket on Clarion and then kept swapping out the two top ones for ones that were cozy warm from the fire. His brow grew warm from touching so much heat and his hands started turning pink, but he stubbornly kept going for an hour.

Mary was overtired and stressed and finally yelled at him to go stick his hands in ice after Clarion stopped shivering and fell asleep.

His attention was intensely focused on Clarion's labored breathing for hours. A wind fairy had been called in to create a tiny tornado inside the rose bud to push fresh air through the tubes to Clarion's nostrils so she could breathe easier.

Someone picked up his hand, and Milori startled and turned his head to see Spruce kneeling beside him with Mary walking into the room.

"Did you leave?" he asked Mary.

"I told you I was going to get your healer if you didn't go back to winter," she answered and resumed her seat in the chair on the other side of the bed.

"Oh. I didn't hear you," he said distractedly and turned his eyes back onto Clarion, who was curled up on her side and holding his hand under her chin under the blankets while she slept. "She still feels cool to me," he said in concern.

"Lord Milori," Spruce said sharply.

His wary eyes drifted back to Spruce.

"I said your hand is burned. Let me see your other." He held out his hand.

Milori shook his head, so emotionally exhausted he could barely function, and looked back at Clarion. "I'm not letting go of her," he vowed softly. She looked so frail and small in the hospital bed-so desperately in need of his protection.

Spruce heaved a sigh and laid Milori's free hand in a bowl of ice. Milori didn't even notice.

The healer fairy walked in.

Milori was so stressed and exhausted he wanted to curl up and weep himself out of this nightmare. Instead, his grip tightened in Clarion's hand and he braced himself.

"Her organs are barely maintaining function, but we're starting treatment for pneumonia. Her body is under extreme strain, and I can't guarantee how she'll be able to tolerate this additional stress," he said solemnly.

Mary gasped and Spruce stood.

"Pneumonia?" Milori croaked. "How can that be this fast?" he asked desperately.

He shook his head. "She must have had scratches in her lungs from the dust that easily picked up infection. It's probably why her glow is so dim."

Milori stared at Clarion, his mind numb, while a nurse hung another intravenous bag above Clarion's bed to start the medicine. He didn't realize until he went to stroke her hair that Spruce had wrapped his free hand because of the burns. A sudden burst of anger swelled and he let go of Clarion's hand to rip off the bandage before gently taking her hand again and stroking her silky hair spread over the pillow.

"Lord Milori, your burns must be wrapped in frozen bandages so they don't scar," Spruce sighed in exasperation.

"If there is nothing you can do to aid her, leave us!" he barked without turning around.

Spruce quietly left, telling Mary to dump a bucket of ice water over Milori if he refused to go to winter to keep his temperature down.

"Lord Milori, I must go check on Tinkerbell and the others for a minute," Mary told him softly a moment later.

Rage bubbled up and his hands shook the slightest bit. "Don't speak her name in my presence," he hissed through clenched teeth without turning.

"She meant no harm," Mary countered softly.

"Do not speak her name!" he yelled over his shoulder, barely trusting himself to remain seated.

Mary quietly left.

He gingerly squeezed into the small space on the bed and laid down, careful to not wake her up. Slipping one hand under the blanket to hold hers, he wrapped an arm around her to hold her close because even he could warm her freezing body. The warm blankets stung his skin, but he didn't care. He needed to hold her close. He needed to protect her. Gently scooting closer so her head was nestled under his chin, he held her tight. Tears filled his eyes. "Please, sweetheart. I love you more than life itself, darling, and would do anything for you. Please," he begged, his voice breaking and tears slipping down his cheeks. "Please don't leave me," he whispered and succumbed to his quiet sobs.

Her labored breathing filled the room.


	16. Chapter 16

Mary left Tink's home in poor spirits. The fairies were taking it hard about the accident, and Mary herself feared Lord Milori exiling Tinkerbell and Periwinkle if Queen Clarion didn't survive. He was beside himself with fear right now, not that anyone could blame him.

Everyone had fallen asleep all over her house after Fairy Mary had left. Tink was worried about how Peri was handling the stress, probably having no idea what was happening with Queen Clarion.

Tink snuck out of the house and flew to the border not long after sunrise. Sure enough, Peri was sitting on the log at the autumn border with red eyes as if she had been weeping.

"Peri!" she cried as she flew closer.

Peri looked up hopefully, her wings fluttering. "Tink!"

They flew at each other and hugged.

"What happened to the Queen?" she sniffled. "Lord Milori hasn't been in winter since it happened last night."

"Well..." she started sniffling. "Fairy Mary just came by and said the Queen is starting to warm up, but she's getting pneumonia now."

"Tink?" Peri started to cry. "What's going to happen to us?"

Tink wrapped her arms around Peri. "Nothing, Peri," she promised. She would go to Lord Milori and explain she alone was at fault for everything.

Milori must have drifted off to sleep because when he opened his eyes, the sun was high in the sky. He slowly sat up to feel Clarion's brow. Then he froze.

Clarion's porcelain skin wasn't blue but pink and glowing where her skin had been in contact with his. She gave a soft, wet cough in her sleep.

His heart beat faster. She hadn't been strong enough to speak, much less cough since he had found her in the water. His brow furrowed when he noticed his hand that had been resting on her shoulder. It was pale and cold again, with the burn completely gone. He stroked her blue cheek. "Sweetheart?"

She didn't stir.

An idea struck him, and he slowly rubbed his fingertips together to sprinkle some of his dust on her cheek. It absorbed into her skin, glowing for but a moment before going dim. "No," he whispered sadly and cupped her cheek. It started to glow softly. He stared, befuddled what was happening. Carefully getting up, he pulled the blankets off of her, leaving her only in a thin hospital gown. Then he rubbed his hands together to sprinkle his pixie dust on her bare arm. Laying his hand on her skin, an odd warm and then cold tingling sensation sweep over his hand. When he pulled his hand away, her skin was pink and warm.

His heart leapt with hope, and he pulled off his shirt. Perhaps if he covered her with dust and then pressed his skin to hers...

Her eyes fluttered open when she felt someone crawl into bed behind her, untying the back of her hospital gown to her waist and carefully moving aside her wrapped wings. "Milori?" she asked weakly, her heart racing with fear who was behind her. A weak cough wracked her body.

"It's me, sweetheart."

"It's hard to breathe," she said softly with tears in her voice.

"I know. I think my dust will help, love." He scooted close and pressed his bare chest to her back.

She arched away instinctively from the tingling and intense chill penetrating her body. A strong arm wrapped around her to keep her close.

"I know it feels cold," he said through clenched teeth. The heat it generated between their skins hurt him having such a large area in contact with her, but he held her close and hoped it wasn't hurting her as much as it was him. Seconds later, a chill skittered down his skin, so he drew back to see her back glowing and a healthy pink. "Can you breathe more easily?"

She nodded, her body starting to have productive coughing fits that were getting the infection out of her lungs.

He stood and walked over to the other side of the bed to face her, gently lifting her to scoot her back to make room for him. Glancing at the open door, he walked over and shut it before returning to the bed to lie down facing her. He rubbed his chest, causing the pixie dust to surface on his skin.

She wheezed, the coughs wracking her delicate frame so much they made her chest hurt.

"I promise I won't look." He scooted closer, tucking her head under his chin and keeping his eyes focused on the intravenous bag overhead as he hooked a finger over the neck of her hospital gown. He slide it down to her waist without bumping her and wrapped his arms around her bare back to press her chest against his.

Despite the warmth and discomfort of his dust reacting with her, his eyes rolled back and a breath caught in his throat upon feeling her bare curves against his chest and under his hands. His wings painfully tried to open to take flight to mate, but he battled with his instincts and tore his mind away from imaging this might be how she'd feel during mating. He could feel the rattling in her chest dissipating and her delicate hand come up to rest on his bicep. She was drawing deeper breaths, her body slowly relaxing in his arms now that she didn't have to struggle to breathe. The warmth between them started to become heat, but he didn't let go.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, feeling stronger every second.

"Yes," he whispered through clenched teeth, his voice unsteady from the pain. He felt the pixie dust draining out of him as if her body was sucking it out like a sponge, but he didn't care. If she needed the last particle from him, he would freely give it to her.

He started to go limp in her arms, and the cold on her chest was almost painful. She pulled back and captured his face between her hands to set her lips to his. Giving a soft blow, she returned some of his dust.

Milori jerked his head back and sat up, pulling up her hospital gown without looking away from her eyes. "You need it," he said weakly.

"I have enough to start generating my own. You gave too much."

"You're certain?"

She nodded.

He leaned down and let her blow dust into him for a moment before pulling away to cough.

One of the healers walked in and stopped, looking between both of them on the bed. "When did she wake up? When did she start glowing?" he asked in confusion.

Milori looked down at her with a smile dancing in his caramel eyes, and she reached up to cup his cold cheek with a smile of her own.

"Just now," Milori said huskily, not looking away from her eyes.

Clarion was weak and still got cold easily, but the pneumonia was gone and her organs seemed to be slowly going back up to normal speed.

"Let's take a look at your wings," the healer said.

Milori helped her sit upright and swing her legs over the side of the bed while the healer stood behind her to unbind her wings. Milori stood before her and held her hands, jumping every time she moved a hair. "Does it hurt?" he asked for the fifth time before her wing was even unbound.

"No," she smiled. "Relax."

He let go of one hand to tuck a blanket around her legs tighter. "You technically died. Of course I'm a little over protective."

Her wings slowly unfolded and her hands gripped Milori's tighter.

"Any pain?" the healer asked as he stood back to watch them unfold on their own.

"A bit sore," she replied.

They opened fully, and Milori and the healer carefully inspected them.

"They are usually more pliable," Milori said from where he leaned over the bed to gently touch without letting go of one of her hands.

The healer looked at him funny.

"Her wings are softer than most," Milori explained.

"We'll apply aloe to help."

Milori frowned. "That will be so heavy she won't be able to fly. It takes a week for aloe to wear off of wings."

"I want her wings to rest anyways just to be sure."

The healer thought another few days in the hospital and she'd be back to normal. The healers and Spruce couldn't explain it, Dewey claimed it was a miracle, Milori said it was luck he had fallen asleep next to her. Clarion claimed it was love that had saved her.

A nurse came in that evening to help her wash in bed because she was still a bit too weak to get up. Milori whispered something to the nurse at the doorway and then glanced back at Clarion with a wink before stepping out.

Clarion was confused when the nurse packed up everything but the basin and pitcher and walked out a few minutes later, not having helped her to wash her hair. Milori stepped in with a mischievous smile and sauntered over.

"Shouldn't you get back to winter?" She pulled a pillow behind her back to prop herself up.

"I ran over for a dip while you were bathing," he smiled and picked up the basin, slowly reclining her bed.

"What are you up to?" she smiled suspiciously as he helped her lie down.

"Nothing, sweetheart." He gathered her hair into the basin and grabbed the pitcher, carefully pouring the water so none would splash in her eyes.

She laughed softly but soon sighed with pleasure and closed her eyes as he massaged her scalp while sudsing her hair.

"You look beautiful," he said huskily.

She opened her eyes to look up at him with a giggle. "I look terrible."

Holding her eyes he answered, "You never could, sweetheart."

Reaching back to still his hands, she said seriously, "Thank you, Milori."

"For what?" he frowned in confusion.

"For saving me. For taking care of me."

"I'll always be there for you, Clarion." Then he leaned down and kissed her.

"Oh!" Her eyes shot open, and he pulled back with a curious smile. "What did Dewey say about you being warm? You don't feel as cold now either," she frowned.

He tenderly rinsed her hair, holding his hand against her brow to keep water from running into her eyes and then dried her hair with a leaf towel the best he could. "We didn't quite finish before we had an emergency, but they don't think anything is actually wrong so far," he answered and helped her sit up so he could brush her damp locks that were already curling at the ends.

"You should go back tonight and find out," she fretted and pulled the blanket closer around herself when she started to shiver.

He helped tuck her in. "I'll go when you're out of the hospital. Besides, I feel fine."

Before Clarion could respond, they were interrupted.

Tinkerbell stood in the doorway. "Excuse me, Queen Clarion and Lord Milori."

Milori shot off the bed to the door so fast Clarion couldn't believe he didn't have use of his wings.


	17. Chapter 17

Milori glowed red, which Clarion didn't even know was possible for a winter fairy. He blocked the doorway, his hands fisted at his sides.

"Get out," Milori snarled, looming over her.

"B, but," Tink stuttered, looking up at him with wide eyes.

His eyes sliced through her, and he wouldn't have been surprised if Tinkerbell had melted to the floor from his glare.

"You are not going anywhere near her. You almost killed her!" he hissed, straining to not scream because he didn't want to upset Clarion in her weakened state.

"Milori," Clarion warned gently. "Tinkerbell, come here."

He held his ground for several moments, and Clarion started to think he wasn't going to let Tinkerbell in. Then he spun on his heel and stalked back over to stand beside Clarion. Every sinewy muscle from his calves up to his shoulders portrayed tension. She felt bad for Tinkerbell—she wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of Milori's wrath.

Tink slowly walked over to the foot of the bed, not daring to go closer to the Lord of Winter who looked ready to eat her. The Queen, however, appeared calm with her hands folded in her lap in bed. Tinkerbell wondered for a moment where the Queen's wings were but then remembered Lord Milori had said she had almost killed the Queen, so her wings must be alright.

"What did you come to say, Tinkerbell?" the Queen asked, her eyes patient.

"I, I'm sorry, Queen Clarion," she said with a bowed head and drooping wings. "The whole thing was my doing. I thought you and Lord Milori had a falling out and he was leaving. I meant to take you to Dewey's library in the sleigh in hopes that Lord Milori would see you with snowflakes in your hair and realize he can't be without you—"

"It isn't safe for any fairy to be out after dark, much less taking a warm fairy into unfamiliar winter ground—" Milori snapped.

Clarion hoped he would settle down because she didn't think it respectful to scold him in front of Tinkerbell. Poor Tinkerbell looked terrified and wrung her hands.

"I'm sorry. I thought that because she came along so quickly we could make it before dark."

Milori started to speak but Clarion quickly jumped in. "Tinkerbell, it is never safe to be out after dark anywhere. Something was going on yesterday and I thought Lord Milori summoned me because something was terribly wrong. I understand your intentions were meant to be helpful, but it's not anyone's concern if Lord Milori and I are together or not. My personal matters are my own, understood?"

"Yes," she said with a hanging head.

"I trust that you've learned your lesson, Tinkerbell. You may go tell your sister that you are not permitted to cross into winter for a week. I want you to spend that time reading about winter so you understand and respect it's dangers."

"Yes, Queen Clarion," Tinkerbell said quietly and set down on the foot of the bed a bouquet of flowers she had brought.

"That is not all," Milori spoke up, his voice quivering with rage.

Tinkerbell looked up nervously in surprise.

Clarion cleared her throat pointedly at Milori but he either didn't hear her or chose not to.

"I do not want you in winter. I do not want you near Her Majesty," he growled.

Tinkerbell's eyes filled with tears. "I don't understand. What are you saying," she panicked, fearful that she was being exiled.

"Tinkerbell, please go for now," Clarion answered firmly. She laid a hand on Milori's arm when he started to argue.

Tink slowly backed up, unsure what to do with her rulers at odds.

"Tinkerbell, I am your Queen," Clarion reassured her, understanding exactly what Tinkerbell was thinking.

As soon as Tink flew out, Milori spun around on her.

"A week?!" he barked, flinging out his arm toward the door. "She was careless, sticking her nose in where it didn't belong and nearly killed you!"

"Milori, it was an accident. She's remorseful and didn't understand what she was doing," Clarion said patiently.

"Exactly! You're too lenient with her! If it was one of my fairies, I'd send her to Neverland for a year, if not forever!" he nearly shouted.

"She's not one of your fairies. And need I remind you that only I can exile fairies?"

His jaw clenched and eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare undermine me, Clarion," he growled.

Her eyebrows rose. "Likewise. I'm pointing out a fact, Milori. You're still worked up and exhausted—"

"I spent more minutes than I know searching for you at the bottom of a frozen lake!" he yelled, pointing at his chest angrily. "I pumped your heart the entire way to the hospital trying to keep you alive! I watched you dying for hours with nothing I could do!" The veins in his neck bulged with his anger, and she didn't deny him because he needed to get all of his emotions out so he could become rational. "I should have made her sit right beside me the entire time and weep with as much fear and grief as I did! She should have been right here to feel the helplessness and terror! But I couldn't stand having the creature whom I thought killed you anywhere in my sight!" His chest heaved and eyes almost glowed with anger.

"Milori," she said calmly.

"NO! I don't want to hear your excuses for her! What she did was far more dangerous than anything I have seen, and I have seen some incredibly stupid things. Winter is far more dangerous than any of the warm seasons, and I don't want any warm fairies to cross until they respect its dangers," he hissed.

"And she will read about them and then have a winter fairy teach her more—"

"No! Tinkerbell is not allowed in winter! Ever! She needs to be punished for more than a week from winter! What kind of a joke is that!"

She lost her temper. "It is your right to ban someone from winter, but it is not your right to decide punishment for a warm fairy," she snapped.

"I've heard talk of the problems she causes, and you always coddle her! It's escalated now to threatening your life, and you're still not reprimanding her! When you aren't looking out for the best interest of yourself or your fairies, I have every right to step in!"

There was stunned silence from both of them.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I didn't mean that," he said quietly.

"I know exactly what you meant," she answered just as quietly. "I think you need to go."

"Clarion," he pleaded.

She held up a hand. "We're both exhausted, and I think you need a break from here tonight."

He shook his head and reached out to take her hand, but she pulled it away. "Clarion, I'm not leaving you here alone all night when we don't understand what's going on with you."

"So send Mary or someone," she replied quietly without looking at him.

"Don't be like this," he said.

Her eyes snapped up to his. "I didn't realize that you keep tabs on how I run things so you can step in when I'm not fit!" she barked.

"I don't and you know it," he ground out between his teeth.

"Just get out," she said and leaned back into her pillows.

He snatched up his cape on the chair. "Fine. Maybe you should have left me in Neverland," he muttered angrily and marched to the door.

"Go! Maybe you'll find a cold fairy there to mate who rules to your liking!" she snapped after him, realizing in the recesses of her mind that she was exhausted and irrational.

He slammed the door hard on his way out.

She burst into tears the second it closed, not sure how their argument had escalated so out of control. Then she remembered she still hadn't told him what Thomas had said.


	18. Chapter 18

Milori flew to Mary's home and saw her to the hospital, leaving her with an acorn whistle to summon Blizzard for an emergency, before he flew through winter to Dewey's library.

"Keeper?" he called when he walked through the door.

"Over here!" Dewey answered.

Milori walked through the stacks of books and found Dewey writing at his podium, as usual.

"How d' do?" he asked with his nose buried in a book.

"How d' do? I need to figure out what's happening with my temperature. Something happened with Clarion from it. Do you have time to come with me to Spruce's house?"

"Is the Queen out of the hospital then?" He closed his book and grabbed his staff to fly over.

They walked to the door together. "No, but she's doing better. I'll explain what happened when we find Spruce." He climbed up on Blizzard.

Dewey chuckled as he took off beside Milori. "Female troubles?"

Milori looked at him in surprise.

"I've never seen you come stomping in."

He shook his head. "We started arguing and...and I think we're both tired and stressed."

They flew along in amicable silence to Spruce's home.

Spruce insisted on another exam after hearing how Milori had been able to help heal Clarion. Only after Spruce and Dewey convinced him that Clarion really was out of danger did he agree to stay for an exam.

Milori sat in a chair in Spruce's front room, with an icemometer under his tongue and his shirt off while Spruce listened to his chest and Dewey took notes.

Spruce knelt before Milori, examining his muscular abdomen. "Amazing. The surgery scar from when you fell off that owl all those years ago is light pink now." He traced the line from Milori's trim hip almost to his naval.

"What scar?" Dewey frowned.

"Remember the owl who was eaten by the mountain lion and Lord Milori was impaled by a stick when he fell?"

"Ah, yes," Dewey said and continued with the notes.

"Thanks for that lovely memory," Milori muttered around the icemometer. He pushed away the memories of having been in terrible pain and having wanted Clarion there to tell her he loved her in case he died during surgery. But he had kept his mouth shut and had not sent for her in case she had moved on.

Spruce ignored him and lifted Milori's right arm to check the under side of his large bicep. "The scar where his arm bone had broken and punctured through from the fall is still blue like a winter fairy. Did the Queen's skin touch here?" He looked up at Milori, who shook his head.

He took the icemometer out of Milori's mouth. "This can't be possible," he whispered in shock and stood, staring at the stick.

"Hm?" Milori asked.

His eyes raised to look at Milori. "Your body is taking on some of her properties."

Milori shrugged. "It's probably temporary."

"No," Dewey spoke up with his mouth hanging open. "Did you mate with her?"

Milori's eyebrows shot up. "You know I can't."

"Mates take on some properties of each other," Spruce explained in amazement. "She might have some of your properties."

Milori blinked. "How? We didn't..."

Spruce shook his head and looked at Dewey.

"Could be a survival transfer. Perhaps because she was dying, his body was trying ta save hers?"

"Because she's the queen?" Milori asked in confusion.

Spruce shook his head, bewildered himself.

"Can this harm her?" Milori questioned.

"Likely not, but warm and cold fairies haven't ever mated before," Spruce said, still in amazement. "Let's take another sugar sample."

"So it's a good thing I can't mate then. Wouldn't it cause extreme changes in her?" Milori's eyes remained plastered on Spruce in concern. Then he had a terrible thought. "If mating almost guarantees longevity, she'll always be at risk of dying, won't she?"

Dewey and Spruce both looked at each other, not wanting to be the one to answer. Spruce finally said quietly, "No, you can't protect her lifespan, and yours can't be prolonged to match hers."

Milori stared at the floor, trying to absorb that news that he had always expected but not wanted to believe was true.

Spruce tied a tourniquet around Milori's arm and withdrew some sugar. He absently gave Milori a gauze to press to the puncture wound and dug out grass, ice, and snow from his bag. Setting them in some bowls on the table, they all watched curiously as Milori's sugar glowed brightly on the snow and ice and dimly on the grass.

"What does it mean?" Milori asked, glancing at Spruce and Dewey, who had their faces practically pressed to the bowls.

"I'll be a yetti's uncle," Dewey whispered.

"It can't be," Spruce breathed.

Milori leaned down next to them. "What?" he whispered.

They both startled as if forgetting he was there. They all straightened and Milori looked up at Spruce.

"Lord Milori, you're able to survive in almost any temperature."

Milori's heart started pounding in his chest with excitement. "Any?"

"You can't live in spring or summer, but it must be how you're able to stay at the hospital for hours at a time."

His eyes searched the floor. It couldn't be true. After all of these centuries he could be with Clarion but now he couldn't protect her? It was cruel of fate to grace him with one piece of happiness only to snatch it away with another problem. Looking back up at them he asked, "Is the temperature change permanent?"

"There's no way to know for certain beyond the test of time," Spruce said.

"Say I can mate. Would it do her harm?"

"Lord Milori," Spruce said gently. "It's not possible."

"But what if it was somehow. I want to know that she would be alright. What if she became pregnant? Would the baby be compatible with her body?"

"I imagine so," Spruce frowned.

"Please don't get your hopes up," Dewey said sadly. "We've spent hundreds of years trying to come up with a way."

"But it only needs to be once to protect her lifespan," he said desperately. "If that once is timed perfectly and could get her with child too..."

"You're breaking my heart," Dewey said sadly and set a hand on Milori's shoulder. "It's just not possible. You can be with her, but you can't protect her lifespan."

Spruce sat in a chair across from Milori, looking as heartbroken as Milori felt. "There is the issue of an heir to keep Pixie Hollow alive."

Milori swallowed hard. "She'll still have another couple hundred years left after I fade. I'll help her find someone who will take care of her and give her an heir," he vowed even though it broke his heart.

There was commotion outside and Sled burst through the door. "Lord Milori! Blizzard's whistle is being blown!"

Milori shot out of his chair and ran to Blizzard, forgetting about his shirt and cape. A thousand terrible scenarios ran through his head of what had gone wrong with Clarion that Mary was summoning him. She had looked so much better when he had left. His heart thundered in his ears as they ripped through the sky.

He ran through the hospital, not even realizing he was getting stares, and turned into Clarion's room, slamming his shoulder into the door frame because he turned too fast and couldn't balance with his wing. There were three healers standing around the bed getting a sugar sample and doing other things that he didn't pay attention to. He ran over to see her sitting up in tears with Mary right beside her patting her hand.

"Clarion." It suddenly struck him how perfectly her name flowed from his lips. Nothing could happen to this fairy he loved so much. He slipped into Mary's place and took Clarion's cool hand.

Clarion's free arm went around his neck and surprised him when she pulled him down in a hug. He nearly lost his balance.

"I'm sorry. I didn't really mean for you to go to Neverland and find someone," she hiccuped.

He gently extracted himself when a healer cleared his throat pointedly because he wanted to listen to Clarion's chest. Brushing a kiss over her lips and then taking her hand he said, "I'm sorry too, sweetheart. I lost my temper. We can talk about it more later. Is that why you're crying?" he asked in puzzlement.

She nodded and brushed at her eyes.

He glanced at Mary, who was in tears. Something didn't make sense. "What's going on?" He glanced nervously at a healer setting up a bee to monitor Clarion's heart.

"Her temperature is dropping," Mary cried softly from his other side.

Milori felt her brow to find it warm but not as much as usual. "It's probably alright. I went to Spruce, and he said my temperature rose. They think we took on some of each other's properties. It's probably fine," he promised as much to her as to himself.

The healers all looked at him in horror. "It's not fine!" one of them barked and unwrapped her wing.

Milori felt his face drain of sugar when he saw the bottom tip of her wing was blue. His eyes searched Clarion's. "I'm going to get Spruce and Dewey. Don't worry," he told her even though his own heart was racing. He tore out of the hospital.

Milori paced like a caged mountain lion at the foot of the bed while Spruce and Dewey examined her. He didn't seem to notice Clarion's eyes following him. When Dewey and Spruce went to examine the sugar samples, he was instantly by her side again.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I had no idea giving you my dust might hurt you."

She shook her head. "I'm sure it's nothing or it's temporary." Her eyes darted down to his chest. "Where's your shirt?"

He looked down in confusion. "Oh. I must have left it at Spruce's house. He was in the middle of an exam when Mary blew the acorn."

Her fingertips gently traced the scar on his abdomen. "Is this from the surgery?"

He blinked. "How do you know about the surgery?"

She blushed. "Sled and Gliss gave me hourly updates to keep me from crossing." Then her eyes grew serious again. "A branch impaled you?"

He nodded and drew her hand away from the scar to hold it. "I'm sorry I said you weren't taking care of yourself or your fairies. I just..." He looked down at her hand for a moment. When he looked back up at her, tears were in his eyes. "I can't live without you, Clarion," he whispered. Then his voice broke when he said, "I'm so scared."

She stroked his cheek and brushed away his tear that had escaped. "Shhh, it's alright," she said softly, tears springing into her eyes. "I feel so much better than yesterday, so that has to be a good sign."

He sniffled and looked down at their joined hands. "These past couple days of being terrified if you'll survive have been harder than living apart when at least I knew you were safe." He looked into her eyes. "The first time I saw you flying past the border when I was just a couple seasons old, I thought you were beautiful. But seeing you up close when you were petting Mountain, I thought I was smitten with a warm fairy. Then you revealed you were the queen and I fell in love with you the moment I went down on my knee. But I didn't love you because you're the queen. I fell in love with you because you're fearless and strong, Clarion. I've come to learn that you're also kind and gentle and intelligent. I love you, Clarion."

"I love you too," she smiled, so touched by his declaration of love. Now she had tears in her eyes instead of him.

"I..." He looked down at their hands for a moment. When his eyes returned to hers, they looked nervous, and she noticed his hands were shaking slightly.

"Milori?" She cupped his cheek, worried what was wrong.

"Clarion, I don't think it right to just pop this on you. When you're better, I want to ask you to be my mate, but I also want you to seriously think about what it means. I can't give you babies or protect your life with mating. I don't know how long I'll be able to tolerate warmth. It gets burdensome not having a wing, mainly when I'm trying to train a new owl who crashes into everything the first couple weeks. It's a possibility I might have to live in the North Woods again-"

She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. He had to throw his arms down on the bed to keep from toppling on top of her. She cried tears of happiness. "You know what I'll say."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, burying his face against her neck to inhale her beautiful scent. "I love you," he whispered and closed his eyes, not yet having the heart to tell her that she would need to take a mate after he faded. She would get upset, and right now she was too weak to deal with that.

"I love you so much," she beamed.

He finally let go to pull back and look her in the eyes while holding her hands. She looked positively radiant. He didn't see her hospital pallor, tangled curls or hospital gown. He only saw the fairy he loved with his entire being smiling up at him through her diamond eyes.

Her heart wanted to explode, so she let it. Pulling him down for a kiss, she buried one hand in his hair and let her other feel the rippling muscles of his back through his shirt as he wrapped her in his arms. He wanted to be hers forever. For centuries she had dreamed of this and now it was about to happen.

Milori broke the kiss and cleared his throat a little sheepishly. "I have a confession. I brought Tinkerbell back to wait in the hall. I told her that she can sit here and wait for news just like we have to. I don't want to get into an argument right now about what her punishment should be, but I think it's important to impress upon her exactly how serious this is."

She pressed her lips shut and drew back her arms from him slightly.

He cocked an eyebrow. "I went through a hell of a lot worse yesterday waiting to see if you'd even survive the night. It won't hurt her to hear tidbit updates now and then like we have to."

"Alright," she conceded. "I need to tell you something too," she admitted.

His brow furrowed upon hearing the concern in her voice.

"It's something Thomas told me. It wasn't confirmed until after we were at the cabin."


	19. Chapter 19

Tink sat in the hall, nervous what was happening to the Queen. She wished Terence was here with her. He would promise it would all be fine. The queen seemed fine earlier, but Lord Milori had shown up at the tinker shop and told her to come along. She had been terrified when he took off on his owl without a word and she had followed, not knowing what was going to happen. The flight had been tense and silent, and she had been confused when they had arrived at the hospital. She had walked down the hall with him, thinking it was probably disrespectful to fly beside a lord who had a broken wing. The only words he had said to her when they got to the Queen's room were, "You will wait in this chair out here, just as the rest of us are forced to wait. The Queen's wings are turning blue and her temperature is dropping again."

Tink had gasped in horror, her hands flying to her mouth as she looked up into his tortured face.

He barely made eye contact with her, clearly not wanting much to do with the cause of his pain. "You may go home at sunset." Then he had turned to go into the Queen's hospital room.

"Lord Milori?" she had asked nervously, feeling so small and insignificant beside him.

He had stopped at the door but hadn't turned. Dewey and Lord Milori's healer had been heard already inside the room examining the Queen.

"Will you go home to sleep?"

"I sleep here. I won't be far from her when she's so ill." Then he had gone inside.

Tink sat down and wondered if Lord Milori had secretly been near when the Queen had suffered severe influenza just a few years ago. A cold wind had blown through spring and summer in gusts over and over for hours one night. Rumor had it that the Queen's bedchamber window had kept blowing open, but as soon as fairies had stopped shutting it, the winds had stopped. It had been the only time the Queen had been ever been so ill, and it had been the only time cold winds had plagued the warm seasons.

The minutes felt like hours, and she heard the Queen talking softly to him but her voice wasn't quite as strong as usual. For the first time, it crossed her mind that Lord Milori might not survive if their queen didn't.

Clarion's eyes held his. "Milori, Thomas and my other captain have all done searches with their soldiers. They've all confirmed that Bernard isn't in Neverland anymore."

He plopped down in shock, lucky that a chair was already under him.

His honey eyes stared at her for so long that she started to worry he was in shock. "Milori?" She leaned over and felt his brow, relieved he wasn't clammy.

"Where is he?" he suddenly demanded.

"Well, we don't know. I've had guards keeping tabs on him since he was exiled, but he disappeared a few days ago. I sent half of my army to Neverland to search, but he's disappeared."

He ran his hands over his ponytail and started pacing. "Is your army back?"

"Yes."

"We have to combine our soldiers."

"Winter has soldiers?"

"Yes, but I keep them hidden in the trees to watch. Not even Dewey is aware there are winter soldiers." He ran his hands through his hair and then he froze, his eyes flying to her. "Are you certain you falling through the ice was an accident?"

"Milori," she sighed. "Yes, it was an accident. I'm sure of it. The rabbit spooked and I heard the ice crack. We weren't even supposed to go that direction."

His eyes narrowed. "Where has Thomas been? I haven't seen him or any soldiers around you for at least two days," he frowned.

She bit her lip. "I had sent him to Neverland to search. Thomas said he thought I'm safe with you."

"Not when I don't know a lunatic is on the loose!" he barked. "Why would you not tell me this is going on?! I am responsible for the safety of all winter fairies, not to mention I should be aware that someone might be coming after you so I can protect you!" he said, desperate for her to understand this vital point.

"I had it under control. I was going to tell you there was confirmation he is missing but then the whole lake thing happened," she frowned. "I shouldn't have to defend myself to you."

He sat back down and took her hand, searching her eyes. "I'm not trying to attack you. Yes, you are ultimately responsible for everyone, but this shouldn't be your burden to shoulder alone. I know I don't have any knowledge of the warm seasons, but I can help you with this. I should help you with this." He leaned his elbows on his knees and looked up at her. "You and I walk a fine line that I will always try to respect, Clarion. Sometimes we aren't just lovers but political partners. Even a suspicion of him missing should be reported to me too," he said gently.

She looked down at the blanket in embarrassment. "You're right. I thought it would turn out to be a false alarm. It probably is a false alarm. He can't even fly!"

He cocked an eyebrow pointedly.

"Unless he trained a bird or something," she admitted.

"Either way, I need to tell my fairies. Does anyone but your army know?"

"No."

"Alright. I'll tell them to keep it quiet. I'll be back in five minutes." He stood and kissed her brow.

Tink watched in confusion as Lord Milori went running past.

Milori returned minutes later and started to pass Tinkerbell when she stood.

"Lord Milori? The healers came looking for you."

He nodded. "Thank you," was all he said without a second glance at her as he went inside the room. She sank back into the chair. He clearly hated her.

Tink reminded him of a little soldier guarding Clarion's door. He went inside to see what was happening.

Dewey and Spruce were in there looking solemn.

He went straight to Clarion, who was still sitting up against the pillows, but she looked a bit scared. He wrapped his arms around her. "What happened?"

Spruce cleared his throat, and Milori sat on the edge of the bed with an arm around Clarion protectively.

"Her temperature is dropping because she has frostbite—on her wings," Spruce said quietly.

Milori shook his head. "No, it's just winter fairy dust or something. No. Her wings are fine," he replied firmly.

"If her temperature wasn't dropping from it, I'd say we try warming therapies for longer. She's losing a half degree an hour. With how long it would take to warm those parts of her wings, she would be gone."

A choked sob escaped Milori. "Then what do we do?" he asked Spruce. He held her tighter and kissed the side of her head.

She bowed her head, tears silently falling.

"We have to try amputating the frozen tips of her wings."

"What?!" Milori barked, his eyes furious. "Any damage to her wings will kill her!"

"Yes. And she is dying from the frostbite," Spruce said calmly. "May I, my queen?"

She brushed away her tears and nodded, swinging her legs over the side of the bed toward Milori.

Milori quickly stood and helped her sit up. Spruce went on the other side of the bed and carefully unwrapped her wings.

She hissed in a breath and closed her eyes when Spruce gently opened her sore wings. He pointed out the six tips on one wing and four on the other that had a fingertip width of blueness that no longer sparkled. "These tips need to be amputated. We think that if we use heat to amputate, her wings might heal being she's a warm fairy."

"Might?" Milori asked in a thick voice.

Spruce held his eyes but was silent.

Clarion looked up at him through her tears. And she didn't wonder if he loved her or if he would still love her if she survived the surgery. What looked back at her was a fairy who would love her until the end of time. He cupped her face in his large hands that were slightly rough from labor and winter air. Then he leaned down and gave her a kiss softer than a butterfly. "I love you," he whispered.

Spruce and Dewey went to jump in the lake while the healer fairies prepped her for surgery. Milori went into the hall.

Tink jumped up when he walked out. Her wings drooped when she saw the tears in his eyes.

"Her wings are frostbitten, and the tips need amputating," he said in a thick voice.

"What? But, I thought if a queen's wings...?"

"Yes. She's asked me to fetch Fairy Mary. She's beginning to fade. I'm afraid to leave her. Would you...?"

She sniffled and stood up. "I'll go get Fairy Mary." Then she took off.

"Lord Milori?" a nurse came out of Clarion's room.

He turned.

"She's refusing the chamomile sedative until she talks to you."

He went in and saw Clarion sitting up on the edge of the bed, with her head bowed and stents holding her wings wide open. "Oh, sweetheart," he said sadly, his heart breaking seeing her wings tied up.

She looked up and held out her arms. He cradled her instantly, and she wasn't scared anymore. "Milori," she sniffled, burying her face against his shoulder. "Promise that you'll mate if something happens to me."

"Shhh. Nothing's going to happen," he promised, trying hard to keep his voice steady for her sake and held her as she softly wept.

"I love you," she whispered.

He closed his eyes against his tears and swallowed hard. "I love you too, sweetheart. I wish I could take your place, Clarion."

She sniffled. "Gliss and Sled said you had a lot of pain when your wing tore." She looked up at him with a tearstained face.

He opened his mouth, not wanting her to be afraid, when she continued talking.

"I wish I had been there. And for this," she said, softly touching his abdominal scar through his shirt. "I was so afraid of making you angry." She laid her forehead against his chest. "I have so many regrets," she whispered.

"I regret walking away that day. I thought I was doing what was best for you," he whispered. "I vow I won't walk away again, sweetheart."

Mary arrived, and he gave them a few minutes alone.

Dewey and Spruce sat with Lord Milori, who was in silent tears as they all talked and tried to figure out how to fix the Queen's wings so she would survive. Things looked grave indeed.

Mary came out crying into a leafkerchief. "They gave her some chamomile," she sniffled.

Milori went in, trying to hold himself together. Everyone was certain Clarion wouldn't survive with or without the surgery. With how fast her light was fading, he was losing hope too. She was lying on her side with her wings spread out behind her on two pillows. Her eyelids kept threatening to close, but she fought it. She looked so helpless and frail. His heart twisted so painfully hard that he heard himself draw a sharp breath, fighting to not fall to his knees and weep. When she saw him and gave a drowsy, pure smile, a tear rolled down his cheek and he knelt so he was eye level with her and stroked her hair. He memorized the shade of her eyes and the feel of her hair. She was so beautiful.

The healers came in with Spruce, who would be directing this experimental surgery, ready to take her away.

She took his hand, looking so afraid.

"Please," he croaked and looked up at them. "Let me carry her. Let me hold her," his voice trailed off in a whisper, unable to say he needed to comfort her one last time.

Spruce nodded, grief for his friend already apparent in his eyes.

Milori gently gathered her in his arms with a blanket to keep her warm. When her delicate arms wrapped around his neck and laid her cheek against his chest, his face crumpled and he looked up at the ceiling, forcing himself to stay strong so she wouldn't be scared. Spruce held her wings in their splints. Milori had trouble forcing himself to walk down the hall to the room that would likely swallow up his love forever. He gently laid her down on the bed outside of the surgery room, thankful that she was asleep so she wouldn't be scared. He wanted to take her and run to their cabin where he could shelter her from the evils of the world. Where he could fill her belly with babies. Where they would raise children together. Where they would perhaps be grandparents together. But he had only been given an angel for the blink of an eye, and now it was time to send her back home. He bent down and kissed her lips softly. "I love you," he whispered and watched them take her into the room.

There was silence throughout the halls of the hospital as the fairies of Pixie Hollow watched their strong and noble Lord of Winter sink to his knees and weep.

Tinkerbell had been watching from her seat, tears running down her cheek. When she saw him fall apart, she wrapped her arms around her legs and wept.

It had been over an hour, and Milori had finally let Mary help drag himself into a chair. He had wept out all of his heart and was numb now, just waiting for a healer to come out and announce his sweetheart's death.

Tinkerbell was curled up in a chair in the corner, still softly crying as she stared down at her knees. He couldn't look at her. Mary sat in a chair beside him with a hand on his back for so long he no longer noticed. She stared at the floor, and he doubted she even noticed anymore either. He glanced out the window to see it had gone dark at some point.

"You may go," he croaked, not even recognizing his own thick voice.

Tinkerbell startled, and he saw out of the corner of his eye that she looked at him. "I will stay," she sniffled.

After another half hour of no news, he glanced at Tinkerbell to see her weeping hard but quietly into her hands. He could feel her vibrations of guilt from across the room. Bowing his head, he tried to push her from his mind. But his conscience got to him when he thought of what Clarion would do. Blinking back tears, he slowly stood.

Mary looked up in surprise and watched him walk over to Tinkerbell.

He sat in the seat beside her and didn't say anything or look at her.

"I'm so sorry," she wept, almost sobbing.

He kept his eyes forward and didn't say a word, but he set a hand on her small knee. They stayed like that for a long time.


	20. Chapter 20

Tink looked up awhile later when Lord Milori removed his hand to lean his elbows on his knees. She wasn't sure how long she had been staring at the floor.

"It's the middle of the night. Go home," he said quietly, his voice rough from weeping so much. He still kept his eyes forward, and he folded his hands together against his lips.

Tink looked up to see Terence, Rosetta, Silvermist, Fawn, Vidia, Iridessa and many more fairies coming down the hall, each carrying a lit candle. She looked at Lord Milori to see him watching in confusion as the hospital floor began to fill with warm fairies holding candles.

"Look," Tink whispered and turned in her chair to look outside.

He stood and turned to see hundreds of candles burning throughout the hills of the warm seasons and winter.

Terence spoke up, drawing Lord Milori's attention from the window. "The stars are fading. We brought candles so help Queen Clarion find her way back to Pixie Hollow," he said softly.

Tink flew up and threw herself at Terence, quietly weeping on his chest.

Milori couldn't swallow past the lump in his throat. His eyes swept over so many faces that were foreign to him. Clarion undoubtedly knew each face, each character within. These were her fairies who would become his responsibility if she faded. In the darkest hours of Pixie Hollow, these fairies were showing him something they had learned from their queen. Something that Clarion had tried so hard to get him to believe. Something that only a strong leader could instill on her kingdom when it had faced floods, fire and crisis. Hope. He looked into every face that stood before him and saw hope. Some were weeping, but they still held hope strongly in their arms, refusing to release it from their grasps. He turned to look out the window to see the candlelight softly dancing across the faces of his winter fairies at the border. The contrast almost knocked him off his feet. His fairies were solemn and some of them were weeping with grief. His fairies had given up. And he realized that by him hiding from society and being alive but not living, they too had learned to give up hope so quickly. A tear fell down his cool cheek when he looked at Tinkerbell and saw her holding a candle with tears on her face. Then she slowly held out her candle to him. He slowly took it and felt some of the sorrow flee his heart. It was replaced with hope.

Rosetta softly started singing what sounded like a lullaby, and other fairies slowly joined in until the entire hospital was singing in vigil.

Milori watched the beautiful scene, unfamiliar with the song. He looked out the window and saw the winter fairies start singing it too as the music swept over the hills.

Tinkerbell stepped forward and touched his arm. "Influenza swept through the warm seasons a century ago. The Queen came to visit each of us as we took our turn in the hospital. She would sing us a lullaby, saying it would make our dust stronger," she explained softly.

"And did it?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. I think it was the hope that made us get better. She told us that not being able to fly because we were so ill made us sad. But she said that fairies don't need wings to fly because our hearts can do it without wings." Tink blinked back tears. "She told me just weeks ago that it's what she wrote to you in a letter that you returned. She said that maybe if she sang it to us and it gave us hope, it might one day reach you." Tink softly taught him the words.

Take my hand, love, and we will fly,  
Without wings we will reach the sky,  
I see tomorrow just beyond the stars,  
Where love and happiness will soon be ours.  
Take my hand, love, we will see,  
Love overflowing through the sea,  
Without wings we will soar,  
I will love you forever more.

Tears fell down Milori's face, and he was not able to do more than whisper the words as they sang to Clarion.

Dewey came out of the surgery doors a bit later, looking ill and pale. He didn't seem fazed by seeing so many fairies gathered with candles. He stumbled over to Milori, who was holding his breath.

"We're still working, but Spruce and I need ice water," Dewey panted.

Milori turned around but fairies were already shouting down the crowded hall to fetch buckets of ice water. He gave Dewey his chair and helped him sit. Then he knelt before Dewey, lightly frosting him in the meantime. "Is she alright?" he asked, his voice shaking so hard he could barely squeeze the words out of his throat.

Dewey wiped his brow. "Her vitals aren't strong, but she's alive. One wing is done. Spruce has to go incredibly slow because more than a millimeter of cutting every few seconds and she stops breathing."

A bucket of ice water was set down beside Milori. He helped Dewey into the tub in Clarion's room and dumped the bucket over him. Dewey instantly looked better.

"Does Spruce need it?"

"Yes," Dewey said. "But he can't leave the Queen," he fretted. "And the room is sterile, so you can't come in without scrubbing."

Milori took another bucket of ice water and created small blocks of ice. "Here. Have a nurse wrap these directly on Spruce's chest and back. It will at least cool his sugar as it pumps to and from his heart." Milori handed him the blocks.

Dewey took them. "I have to go scrub again." He set a hand on Milori's arm. "She's made it this far," he said seriously. Then he went back inside.

They suffered without news for three more hours. Milori became restless when the sun rose because he couldn't see the stars to tell if she was still alive.

Spruce came out looking exhausted and wet from the ice. He pulled off his surgical hat and mask, his shirt covered in Clarion's sugar. The entire land of Pixie Hollow slowly fell silent.

Milori's heart slammed so hard that his heartbeats were visible through his shirt. He slowly stood, waiting for the news. Spruce didn't smile, and tears built in Milori's eyes.

"Lord Milori, may we speak in private?"

He didn't realize that he started hyperventilating until Tink and Terence each grabbed his arms when he started to sink down. They eased him into a chair.

Spruce walked over and knelt down before him. "She's alive, but she's not in good shape," he said gently.

Tink, Rosetta, Vidia and Terence all tried to push the crowd back to give him some privacy.

"Wha...What does..." Milori panted, unable to get enough air. The room started spinning. He took some deep breaths, with Mary's guidance. "What does that mean?"

"She lost a lot of sugar, so we're giving her a transfusion. Her heart stopped several times, which we think is due to the amputations being a shock to her body. We think that the next couple days will be critical, with her body trying to figure out if there is damage to her wings. Even though heat was used almost to cauterize for the amputations, her wings still leaked sugar. Her wing tissue is incredibly delicate. We have packed pixie dust around the wounds. I want you to be ready for it that she could go downhill fast. We didn't expect her wings to not cauterize. She's at risk for hemorrhaging and her body going into shock still." He helped Milori up and walked him into Clarion's empty room and shut the door.

"What's worse that we need privacy?" Milori croaked, unable to take anything else.

"My lord, I thought you should know that I found scratches on her ankle."

Milori nodded. "She was caught in a vine from the sleigh when she went under water."

"No," he said quietly and stepped closer, holding Milori's eyes. "My hand fits these scratches perfectly. These are nail tracks of a fairy."

Milori's eyes narrowed. "You think a fairy pulled her under water? Tinkerbell and Periwinkle were there. Clarion herself said it was clearly an accident. Even I had difficulty being in the lake looking for her as long as I did. It couldn't be a fairy."

Spruce shook his head, his eyes deeply troubled. "I'm not certain the scratches were made under water."

Milori didn't move a muscle; he didn't even breathe. "No one was in her room without Mary or I aware."

"Are you certain neither one of you fell asleep?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Oh Neverland," he whispered in horror. "I fell asleep with her last night." His heart raced. "But why would someone scratch her ankle? What would be the point?" he asked frantically. His entire world was spinning out of control.

There was a knock at the door and Milori bid entry.

Thomas stepped inside and closed it. "My lord," he said, giving a slight bow. "With the Queen ill, I suspect I'm to report to you?"

"Yes. What is it?" he demanded, his nerves ready to snap.

Thomas's eyes looked disturbed. "A note was found in the Queen's chambers at daylight. I suggest we get everyone out of here and pull forces from the search to guard the hospital." He handed over a parchment.

Milori opened it.

To scratch, to bleed, to writhe, to fade,  
Fear and demons will be made.

Spruce looked at him in confusion. "What does it mean?"

Milori met Thomas's eyes. "It means someone is trying to kill the Queen." His eyes swung to Spruce. "I want a full toxicology done on her to make sure the scratches didn't serve to deliver poison to her." He looked at Thomas. "Was this in her room last night?" he demanded.

"Her room has been closed since the evening she fell through the ice, my lord."

Milori marched up to him, his veins pulsing with rage. "I want the hospital floor emptied to bare staff and patients who cannot be moved. I want your most trusted guards to surround the hospital. Anyone you do not trust is to be sent to me. Move all of the fairies outside where I can speak to them."

"Yes, my lord. But may I ask what is 'demons will be made' means?" Thomas inquired.

Milori's eyes were hard as he looked out the window over the glow of fairies with their candles holding vigil. His voice rang clear and strong, his body tense and ready to defend Clarion by any means. "It means someone will turn fairies against us. It means, Captain, that war is on the horizon."


	21. Chapter 21

The toxicology results came back positive for a poison they were still trying to identify. Clarion's body seemed to be tolerating it well enough. Spruce kept her in the operating room where they could intensely monitor her vitals while she was still sleeping off the sedation.

Milori stood alone in her hospital room, with his head bowed as he leaned his hands down on the bed. "Clarion," he whispered. "I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should tell everyone that Bernard is loose. He's likely behind all of this. I need you. I need your guidance, sweetheart. I need you to be with me to help me find the words. To help me lead our fairies. I fear that we face war. He has festered for centuries, and I fear that it is him and he will cut us down before we even see him coming. Be with me," he whispered. "Help me save our kingdom so we can save you." He drew a steadying breath, brushing at his misty eyes and stood. He walked out of her room, standing tall and strong like a leader Clarion would be proud of. He made his way to the Pixie Tree, past the ministers who were afraid, to the balcony where the Queen always addressed her kingdom.

Hundreds of eyes turned up to him, awaiting word if their Queen would live. He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes but for a moment. "Guide me, sweetheart," he whispered.

His voice rang out loud and strong, hoping he would not lose them before he started. "We have reason to believe that Bernard, the traitor from centuries ago, has escaped Neverland." The crowd buzzed with fear. He continued, hoping to make them strong and not afraid. "Fairies of Pixie Hollow, our Queen is still fighting for her life not only because of the damage done from the fall through the ice..." He paused, waiting to insure he had everyone's full attention. These few minutes were all he had to instill loyalty to the Queen. His voice rose and he spoke forcefully, letting his rage be seen to sweep the crowd away with him. Pointing a finger in the air, he roared, "But also poison!" The crowd gasped and began mumbling. He continued, forcing them to listen. "Our beloved queen was poisoned only two nights ago when she was already so weak from the accident!" He yelled, "Someone is trying to kill our queen! And we will not let him win!"

"No!" some of the crowd yelled back.

"He left a note in her castle chambers, flaunting his evil plot to destroy us, starting with our Queen!" He held up the letter for all to see, his heart thundering in his chest. The veins in his neck bulged when he shouted, "We will not be afraid!"

"No!" more fairies yelled.

"We will not yield!" he yelled and slammed his fists down on the balcony railing.

"No!" the crowd yelled.

"We will not be conquered!"

"No!"

"We will protect our Queen! We will protect our kingdom!"

"Yes!" they roared as one, the energy palpable.

"We will find who is doing this!"

"Yes!"

"Who is with me?!" He threw his fist in the air.

The crowd roared.

"We will stand together! We will see victory!" he yelled and threw up both of his arms.

The crowd went wild.

He threw his head back and looked up at the sun. "We have them on our side, sweetheart," he whispered with a smile of relief. "We have them."

By the time he returned to the hospital, Pixie Hollow was wild with energy. He left them to celebrate their land and Queen.

Milori stopped in the doorway when he saw Clarion back in her room lying on her side in bed. She looked exhausted and pale, but she gave a soft smile. A soft cry escaped his lips and he fell to his knees, his chest heaving. He had been expecting to never see her again, having locked away the hope that had sprung to life in his heart.

"There he is," Thomas told her and stepped back from her side.

Milori raced over and kissed and hugging her gently. "Clarion," he croaked, tears springing to his eyes. "Oh, I could eat you up," he sniffled and kissed her lips and brow and hair, trying to contain himself so he didn't hurt her. "Do you hurt? How do you feel?" Her eyes were unfocused and she looked like she wasn't aware of anything happening.

He looked up Spruce, who was working on her wings. "Is she alright?"

"She's still too out of it to answer anything. I'm not sure if it's from the anesthetic, the poison or the sugar loss," Spruce frowned, his hands quickly trying to stop the sugar that kept dripping onto a basin on the floor.

Milori looked up to see Spruce intensely focused on stopping her sugar loss.

He shook his head. "It has to be the poison doing this." His eyes met Milori's. "I need you to come over here and chill the dust so I can pack it on her wounds."

Shaking his head, he replied, "Her wings are too sensitive to temperature changes. It could kill her."

"What other option is there? She's hemorrhaging faster than I can get sugar into her. She already has two intravenous lines pumping sugar into her."

Milori gently pulled away from her, and she didn't seem to notice. Walking around the bed to look at her wings he said, "Would the temperature be enough if I try to heal them cause damage?"

Spruce shrugged but the stress was apparent in his voice as he kept working. "I have no idea. None of this has ever happened before. We're inventing medicine, friend."

Milori rubbed his fingers together and sprinkled the tiniest bit of dust on one tip of her wing that was hemorrhaging heavily. Then he set the tip of his finger over it. The moment it started to feel hot, he pulled away his hand.

Spruce, Dewey and Milori leaned in and examined it closely. It appeared to have a very fine seal. But her wings started fluttering.

"No, no, Clarion," Milori said quickly as they all grabbed her to keep her calm so she didn't break the seal or make her other wounds bleed out faster.

She tried to push herself up off the bed. Her wing hurt. Someone was trying to hold her back down. She beat her wings harder, afraid what was happening. Then a fairy she recognized but couldn't remember came around the bed and gently laid her back down, his voice calm and soothing as he stroked her brow. She looked up at him, not able to understand what he was saying, but he was gentle and softly rubbed her back, making her wings calm down.

She was scared and he could tell she couldn't understand him. "It's alright, sweetheart," he said soothingly in a low voice to relax her. "Rest so you feel better." Her wings must hurt like his had before his amputation. Softly rubbing her back, her wings slowly stilled. "That's a girl," he said softly. "We'll give you something so they don't hurt," he purred and glanced pointedly at Spruce, who drew up some pain medication.

"I have to give it in muscle," Spruce warned him and gently cleaned her shoulder.

Milori sat down on the bed slowly and leaned down over her a bit while rubbing her back to keep her still. "You'll have a pinch on your shoulder, but it will make your wings feel better, sweetheart." He glanced at Spruce, both of them knowing she didn't understand them.

She felt something pierce her shoulder. Suddenly, there were hundreds of ravens everywhere, flapping around her and grabbing her with their cold ugly claws, trying to hold her down as their beaks pecked at her mercilessly. She screamed and tried hitting them with her fists, flailing to get away. Their feathers beat against her face, and she started flinging herself. More were swooping down from the dark sky, all of them screaming for blood and trying to tear her apart. More and more came until all she could see was blackness.

Everyone startled hard when Spruce finished giving the injection and she started screaming. Milori sometimes heard that scream at night in winter when an animal was being eaten. It made him run cold then, but hearing it come from Clarion was terrifying. His instinct was to let her go so she would stop screaming, but she started bucking, and the three of them grabbed her to keep her from breaking her wings.

"Clarion!" Milori snapped, the three of them struggling to hold her still. She got an arm lose and flung it, punching him in the eye. He grabbed her wrists, pinning them down with one hand, keeping her on her side and leaned down on her shoulder with his chest while pressing on her back with his other hand in a spot that would make it difficult for her to flap her wings. Dewey was unsuccessful in holding down her legs that she used to kick and start gaining leverage. She started bucking again, her screams deafening. Spruce leaned down on her legs, pinning her down.

"We have to sedate her or she'll break her wings!" Spruce yelled over the screaming. "She's hallucinating!"

"And can she survive sedation when her body is already struggling to stay alive?!" Milori snapped.

Spruce held his eyes, neither of them knowing what to do.

Milori kept his grip on her but leaned down, trying to catch her eye. "Clarion," he said softly, fighting back his fear. She was seeing something terrifying, and he suspected she thought she was being eaten alive. "Sweetheart, look at me. It's alright. It's not real. I'm not going to let anything hurt you," he said in a low voice, cutting underneath her screams. Tears flowed from her unseeing eyes, but her screams fell to whimpers. "Shhh, it's alright. I promise nothing is hurting you. You're seeing things, sweetheart. I'm right here. We're in the hospital. Nothing is here."

Her chest heaved and suddenly her eyes weren't vacant. She looked around, and he slowly eased up on pressing her into the bed. Turning her head, her eyes found him. "Milori?" she whimpered.

"I'm right here," he promised and slowly let go of her wrists to hold her hands. "You're seeing things, love." His heart broke when she clawed at him, trying to get into his arms to hide. He leaned down and held her shaking body as she sobbed.

Healers came rushing into the room. "We heard screaming."

Milori gave Spruce a dark look. Spruce smiled and kicked out the healers.

Before she started hallucinating again, they finished lightly cauterizing her wings. Then Spruce and Dewey started cleaning up the sugar that was splattered everywhere, and Milori walked back around the bed to lie down and hold her to keep her calm.

"Your eye," she said softly, trying to focus something as she felt her mind slipping away again.

He gave a soft smile, his black eye protesting the movement. "You have a good punch."

She jumped and started trying to wipe at him with the blanket. "There's poisonous spiders on you," she started to panic.

He held her hands in his, trying to calm her. "I promise there aren't. It's not real, sweetheart." She looked at their hands with fearful eyes, and he knew she thought they were moving onto her. "There's nothing there," he promised and stroked her arms, hoping she would believe him.

She turned her head and buried her face in the pillow. "I can feel them biting," she whimpered and tried flicking them off.

He pulled her close in a hug. "I swear there aren't any, love," he said softly. "See?" He wiped his hand down the side of her body.

She buried her face against his chest. "They are. It hurts," she wept.

"Clarion, I need you to stay calm and trust me. Will you trust me?"

She hesitated but slowly nodded, her body tense in his arms. Huddling against him, she fought her senses and trusted him.

She would squirm every few seconds and ask him if he saw any. He swallowed hard because she trusted him even though every one of her senses was telling her that he was wrong.

For the next few hours, Spruce and Dewey worked with the best warm fairy healer to figure out what poison was in Clarion. Her hallucinations continued, but she was aware of his presence to a degree. Sometimes she would start screaming, thinking she was drowning or a snake was swallowing her. Other times, she'd hold his hands tight and squeeze her eyes shut, trusting him that there really weren't hawks tearing her apart.

His nerves were fried and his heart was breaking watching her mind torment her. Whether it was a wise idea or not, he had Thomas announce the decree that all fairies were to stay within their own seasons and get ready for an attack. He left Clarion for a few minutes to meet with Thomas and the winter fairy captain, ordering them to prepare their armies. Thomas looked confused, but the winter captain didn't bat an eye at what seemed like an outrageous order.

Milori marched back to the hospital, his eyes watching the storm clouds that were rolling in. He hadn't told Clarion yet that when he was only eight seasons old there had been a war on the outside border of winter with malicious fairies that had come from another star. Or that he had been in a war when those fairies had moved on to attack Neverland a year later. During the wars, Milori had led the winter fairies as their general in a vicious battle that had gone on for days. He had lost winter fairies, and their population was still struggling to come back. At the time, he had believed the evil enemy fairies had been annihilated. But now, he was beginning to worry that perhaps Bernard had been one of those fairies. He was now returning to the hospital after ordering the guards to keep everyone away from the hospital who wasn't in need of medical attention. The last thing they needed was whoever did this to figure out that Pixie Hollow was vulnerable with their queen in temporary madness. This was exactly what the enemy was waiting for, expecting Pixie Hollow to begin falling into chaos.


	22. Chapter 22

"Did you hear that this afternoon?" Tink asked Terence as they made dinner while it rained outside that evening.

"Hear what?" He set down the teapot on the table and walked back over to the counter where Tink was making salads with honey.

"It sounded like screaming from the hospital," she whispered as if afraid of being overheard. "It almost sounded like the Queen."

"What? No. Lord Milori wouldn't let anything happen to her. Why would there be screaming?"

She leaned her hands on the counter, her wings fluttering to raise her back end up as she leaned over the counter in his face. "The poison," she whispered. "What if it's killing her? We have to go to the hospital to see if she's alright."

He cocked an eyebrow. "I distinctly remember you saying you're supposed to be spending your time reading about winter and not stick your nose in the Queen's affairs," he said skeptically.

"But what if there's something we can do? She got poisoned because of me."

He sighed. "Tink, whoever it is would have figured out how to poison her regardless of the accident or not."

She plopped down in a chair, her head and wings bowed guiltily. "I almost killed her, Terence."

He knelt down to meet her eyes. "Tink, it was an accident. They forgave you. You take your mistakes and learn from them; you can't dwell on them."

"Yeah, easy for you to say. You didn't almost kill the Queen."

He poured her some tea and pressed the cup into her hand. "You need to eat and get to bed. You're tired from being up all last night. Things will look better in the morning."

"When we're under attack?" Vidia asked dryly and came strolling through the door.

"Vidia? You're all wet," Tink frowned.

"You don't say." Vidia crossed her arms over her chest. "Rosetta, Silvermist, Fawn and Iridessa nominated me to come tell you that they think we should go to the hospital to find out why the Queen was screaming. I think we need to keep our noses out."

Tink popped up, her wings fluttering. "Yes! Terence, come with us! Lord Milori said that we need to travel in groups until they figure out who sent that letter about the Queen."

"I think I'm with Vidia on this one, Tink," he said reluctantly and stood, scratching his head.

She sighed. "Terence! Come on!" She stomped her foot. Then she pointed a finger at him. "You owe me."

"From what?" he laughed.

"From..." She tapped her cheek with her forefinger, her eyes up on the ceiling trying to think. Then she threw out her arms. "I'm sure you do for an invention or something!" She grabbed his arm and started flying toward the door.

"Ugh!" Vidia sighed in frustration and followed them out.

They all used inventions of Tink's that were made out of leaves and sticks—umbrellas—to fly to the hospital. They were immediately stopped by guards guarding a wide circumference around the hospital. The fairies started arguing when they weren't allowed past the soaking wet guards.

"Thomas, we wanted to check if the Queen is alright," Tink explained when he wandered over to see what the commotion was.

He blinked the rain out of his eyes and replied firmly, "Lord Milori was very clear only emergencies are permitted to the hospital. You don't look like you're suffering from anything."

"Please," Rosetta pleaded. "The Queen is there because of us—well, mostly Tink—"

Tink gave her a dirty look.

"And we want to see if he needs help. He's been there for three days and could probably use a reprieve," she said, batting her lashes prettily.

He sighed and looked at the guard. "Go check if he wants to let them come or not."

When the guard started trotting through the grass, unable to fly with his wet wings, Tink said, "You should use one of these. You're not able to protect Her Majesty if there's an air attack." She handed him her umbrella and then shared with Terence.

He eyed it skeptically.

The guard returned. "He says they may come, but he warned that whatever transpires is to be kept secret. He said there will be severe punishment if it's not."

The fairies all looked at each other and gulped, unsure what they were walking into. Or if Lord Milori was angry with them.

Milori met them at the hospital doors without a word and walked into an empty patient room. They followed, and he shut the door and turned.

One eye was black as if someone had hit him. He had deep shadows under his eyes, and his skin was flushed as if he hadn't gone into winter for all day. He stood there for a moment as if in a daze or trying to remember what was happening.

Tink stepped forward, the only one who was not so intimidated by him anymore, and looked up. "Lord Milori, we came to see if you need any help."

A scream rang out through the halls, and he closed his eyes as if unable to stand it any longer.

They all looked at him with huge, terrified eyes. He sank into a chair and leaned his head in his hands, rubbing his face to try to wake up. "She's having terrible hallucinations from the poison. Sedation only makes them worse when she wakes up. Tinkerbell, I need you to do something for me." He looked up at her with a face that was suddenly older than the oldest creature in the world. "You're good at finding lost things. I'm hoping you're good at finding a secret place."

"I don't understand."

He ran a hand over his face. "She's mad right now, and whoever did this to her can't know. They're waiting for us to be vulnerable without our Queen. I need you to find somewhere I can take her where the screams won't be heard. At least until she gets better." His eyes swept over all of them. "Then I need rumors spread every few days that you have talked with the Queen so no one knows she's actually ill. Tell them she stopped by late at the shop or caught you in flight to another season or something. Anything where no one else is around to know your story is a lie."

"We'll do it," Tink said firmly. "And Lord Milori? I see that the guards are in the rain. I have these that would keep their wings dry so they can fly in case of an air attack." She handed him an umbrella and opened it for him.

He studied it, turning it over and testing out the weight of it in his hand. "Can you make it hands-free in case of an attack?"

"I can probably come up with something."

He handed it back to her and looked at Terence. "Do we have more dust?"

"We're almost double the supply we had yesterday. We're pushing the Tree to it's limits for harvesting, so it'll probably take two weeks to double this amount."

Lord Milori nodded and started pacing while rubbing his chin. "We need winds coming from Pixie Hollow, preventing things from entering by flight." He looked at Vidia. "You're a fast flyer?"

"Yes."

"Work with Tinkerbell to see if there is a contraption that can be built where we can turn it on and create winds blowing out from our land." He resumed pacing.

Vidia gave a soft growl of frustration in her throat at having to work with Tinkerbell.

He stopped and looked at the other fairies. "Who is Rosetta?"

"I am," Rosetta replied, stepping forward.

"Have the garden fairies make lots of vines. They could be very useful. I also want the lands kept extremely tidy so there is nowhere for an enemy to hide without us seeing—no tall grass, no overgrown bushes. Especially around the castle. As soon as the Queen is well enough, she'll be back at the castle where it will be the hardest for the enemy to infiltrate." His eyes swung over to Silvermist. "You are a water fairy, I take it?"

"Silvermist," she said with a small curtsy.

"Silvermist and...Fawn, I want the streams and lakes kept high and all animals to be on the lookout for any strange fairies. Animals in the warm seasons will report to you and winter ones will report to Sled. You and Sled will report to me, Fawn."

"Yes, my lord."

Iridessa stepped forward, anxiously waiting for her task. He stopped pacing before her and looked down at her. "You and your light fairies have control over the moonlight?"

"Yes."

"I want the moonlight to be as bright as possible and no cloudy days. When there is no moon, I want something figured out to give light whether it's fireflies or what have you. The enemy likely will move in at night. I want you and Vidia up there now to clear away this storm. Take as many fairies as you need to get it done." He turned to all of them. "No one travels in groups of less than five. And everything we have discussed here never happened, understood?"

They all nodded.

"Thank you," he said and they started to file out. He noticed Tinkerbell holding back. "Yes?"

"I can stay with her if you need to take a nap," she said carefully.

He shook his head. "Thank you, but I think it best if I stay with her until the hallucinations stop at least," he answered tiredly.

"Does she know...?"

"Sometimes she's aware that I'm there." He ran his hand over his ponytail that was disheveled. "Sometimes she's completely lost to the madness," he whispered.

Clarion shifted restlessly on her side in bed, her wings throbbing and waking her up. She heard Milori take a deep breath as if waking up. The bed shifted slightly.

"Are you seeing something, sweetheart?" he asked tiredly.

Her eyes opened to see him leaning up on his elbow and looking down at her. "Your eye. Oh, your skin is so pink," she frowned and touched his bare arm.

Spruce walked over and felt her brow, but her eyes remained on Milori. "Her temperature is back to normal," Spruce smiled. "My queen, can you command any dust?"

She was touching Milori's brow. "You need to go to winter."

"I'm alright," he said tiredly.

"My queen, if yer well, I think you can heal him," Dewey said from the corner where he was writing, his eyes bright with excitement.

"No, Clarion, you're too weak," Milori protested.

She touched his brow, the underside of her hand glowing brighter and brighter. There was a flash of blue light, and Clarion half screamed in fear when she saw she had faintly frosted Milori's brow. Snatching her hand away, she looked at him with huge eyes. "Are you alright? I'm sorry, I don't know what happened."

Milori looked startled. Spruce stared in shock.

Dewey chuckled. "Queen Clarion, I think you've become part winter fairy."


	23. Chapter 23

Milori stood back as Spruce examined Clarion, a slew of thoughts running through his head. Would she cool down in temperature? Would her wings be able to handle it? Could they live together in winter or perhaps spring or fall now? What other talents of his had she picked up? Would she lose her warm fairy talents?

Clarion glanced over at Milori while Spruce was testing her sugar on snow, ice and grass. Dewey was gently unwrapping her wings to see how the wounds were healing. Milori looked worried.

"What warm properties do you have?" she asked Milori in concern.

He sat down in a chair and shook his head. "Just the ability to tolerate the warm temperatures for hours at a time. And whatever that thing is that our skin does when we touch when my dust is on you." He leaned his elbows down on his knees and cupped his forehead in his hands. "Do you feel alright?"

"I'm fine. Milori, I think you need to go rest. You haven't slept in two or three days and look exhausted."

"In a bit."

Spruce had her try doing all sorts of winter fairy talents, but the only thing she was able to do was lightly frost. Her warm fairy abilities seemed to still be in tact.

A smile lit up her face when she made a beautiful crystallized heart shape out of frost on the leaf Spruce had given her to test on. She turned to give it to Milori. "Honey!" Her eyes landed on him, and tender smile warmed her heart.

He was fast asleep in the chair, his head propped up in his hand with his elbow leaning on the armrest.

Tink was busy finding a hiding place for the Queen with Terence in the woods after Vidia and Iridessa had cleared away the storm last night.

"Tink, look." He pointed to spring where the apple trees were blossoming and pink petals were floating down to the ground.

"Oh! Good idea! They won't be able to smell her rose scent there!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him across the summer border to start searching for animal holes or something that would work well.

"Tink? You're a very clever tinker," he said as he peeked inside an animal hole in a tree.

"What about this one?" she asked and looked inside a rabbit hole.

He flew over and set a hand on her back as he leaned his head in next to hers. "A bit chilly for her underground, I think."

"Oh." She fluttered over to a log, brushing away a flower petal that landed on her head. A lock of hair fell down in front of her ear that she kept trying to shove back into place.

He followed. "You look pretty like that," he said quietly.

She grunted, not really listening to him as she darted from hole to hole. "Hey! What about this!" Landing before a pile of rocks, she peeked inside to see it was an abandoned animal hole in the side of a hill. "Hey, this is perfect! Well, it's a bit dark." The hole glowed a little brighter when Terence followed her inside. She felt something touch her hand and turned around.

"Tink," Terence said softly, looking into her eyes as he held her hand. "We're friends, right?"

Her brow furrowed. "Of course. Come on, we have to go tell Lord Milori we found a place!" She started to fly out but was stopped when he didn't let go of her hand. She frowned. "Terence, come on."

"Tink, I want to ask you something."

"Later, okay?" She pulled her hand away and flew out of the hole, the morning sun making her squint for a moment.

"Tink," he pleaded.

Something in his voice made her turn around to see him standing there looking at her differently than he ever had before. "Tink, I've been thinking that if there is a war and the males have to go and maybe not come back, I don't want to go without you knowing something."

"What is it, Terence?" The seriousness in his eyes made her worried what was wrong.

"Tink...I love you."

"Ohhh, I love you too," she smiled and flew over to give him a hug. "Come on, we have to go."

"Tink!" he replied, almost frustrated. "Just look at me..." He sighed. "Fine, let's go."

"You don't have to get crabby about it," she frowned and flew away with him.

Milori woke up at sunrise to see he was in Clarion's empty bed in the hospital. He shot out of bed in a panic, completely losing his balance but catching himself against the bed.

"I'm right here," he heard a soft voice say with a smile evident.

He turned to see her sitting in a chair with Spruce and Dewey nowhere in sight. She had her pink dress on again, but her wings were tucked down with her hair loose. She looked healthy and almost like herself.

Stiffly walking over, he felt her brow.

Her eyes looked up at him, a smile dancing on her lips. "You slept by me; I'm perfectly sound. And Spruce said that you gained strength from us being so close all night too." She stood slowly, careful to not jostle her tender wings.

"You look so much better," he said in surprise.

Gently wrapping her arms around him, she slowly started to knead his aching back as she gazed up at him. "You don't though."

His eyes rolled back in his head and his knees started to buckle with how good she made his painful back feel.

"Easy there," she smiled, glad the massage Spruce had taught her this morning was helping so much already. She walked him backward to the bed while tugging his shirt up.

"Sweetheart," he sighed when she started kissing him too. "I have trouble raising my arms in the morning until I do back stretches," he mumbled against her lips.

She pulled back to look at him, her eyes full of so much sorrow that it broke his heart.

"I never expected you to give up your wings for me," she whispered, searching his eyes. "You suffer so much." Tears of guilt shimmered on her lashes.

He leaned his forehead down to hers. "I once told you that no price on your life is too high," he said softly and stroked her cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered and kissed him, gently pushing him back until he lay down on the bed. Then she pressed on a spot under his broken wing that Spruce had told her about.

A long, low moan escaped from him, and she withdrew her hands quickly. "No," he begged with a smile, turning his head on the pillow toward her. "Don't stop. It's the only time my back doesn't hurt."

She continued, giggling over the moans and groans it drew from him. He didn't protest when she removed his shirt. And she didn't protest having his large muscles directly under her hands. When his back finally wasn't so rock hard, he propped his head on his hands and looked at her over his shoulder. "I should be babying you."

"I was in bed for days while you ran yourself ragged."

"And you nearly faded."

"I'm feeling much better now." She softly ran her hand over his wing support frame between his shoulder blades and felt the slight bumps of arthritis. "Spruce said you're supposed to be seeing him three times a week," she said softly. "I can feel the arthritis, Milori."

He immediately tensed under her hands.

"I want to help you," she replied quietly.

"I don't need pity or coddling," he growled and started to get up.

"Good because I won't."

He stilled and blinked at her over his shoulder.

She wrapped her arm around his back and leaned over him to kiss his lips. After a moment of returning it whole heartedly, he turned onto his back without breaking the kiss and wrapped his arms around her.

The door suddenly slammed open and she jumped back in surprise. Milori was in front of her in an instant, braced as if ready to battle.

Tink's face flamed and she turned around quickly, seeing Lord Milori on the bed half undressed and Queen Clarion kissing him. Terence bowed his head and was trying to not smile. She elbowed him.

"I'm so sorry, Queen Clarion and Lord Milori. We had found a good spot for the Queen..."

Clarion could feel her face burning as hot as Tink's, but Milori was composed as if he hadn't just been caught almost ravishing their Queen and wasn't still shirtless.

"The poison has worn off, so a hiding spot isn't necessary anymore," he answered confidently as if he was giving every day orders to one of his advisors.

"Okay." Tink and Terence shot out the door. Giggles could be heard going down the hall.

Milori turned to Clarion, expecting her to be embarrassed.

Instead she asked, "When are you going to ask me to mate?"

"Clarion, we can't mate. You know that," he answered solemnly. He retrieved his shirt.

"Milori?" she asked sadly, hurt he was shutting her out.

He turned with his shirt on to face her, his eyes worried. "Clarion, I need to tell you something that happened a long time ago. I think you should sit."

Terence and Tinkerbell were flying away from the hospital toward the tinker shop when he grabbed her hand when they were over a field of daisies. Then he pulled her down to land in the daisies that towered high above them and suddenly kissed her.

She squeaked in surprise and stared at him when he broke the kiss.

"Tink, I've been trying to be patient for a hundred years, but I can't stand it any longer. I love you. You make me crazy and happy and frustrated and excited...I want to spend every day with you, sharing adventures and laughter and tears. I don't want to be apart any longer." He got down on his knee. "Tink, will you be my mate?"


	24. Chapter 24

Clarion sat down in the chair, confused what was going on. "I know that we can't actually mate, but I thought you said that you were going to ask so we can just be together..." her voice trailed off, embarrassed that it sounded like she was begging.

He knelt down and set his hands over hers in her lap. "I do want to ask you, but this whole possible war thing is making me think about some things. I also want you to know something before I ask you because I'm not certain it won't change your answer."

She shook her head and cupped his cheek. "Milori, nothing will change the fact that I love you."

He pulled her hand away from his face to hold it. "But this might change your answer. I had a hard time dealing with this and tried hard to forget about it." He held her eyes. "Clarion, when Pixie Hollow was only eight seasons old, there was a war on the edge of winter."

She studied him, and he suspected she was dumbfounded.

He held her hands tighter, worried what she was going to think of him. "We were at war with fairies from another star. They were merciless, Clarion. The winter fairy population was nearly two hundred back then when the human population exploded and carried so many babies' first laughs here."

Her brow furrowed. "The warm seasons' population didn't jump that fast. What are you talking about?"

"Remember there was a hurricane over the ocean between here and the mainland?"

She nodded.

"It might have blown more fairies into winter than summer. But anyways, hundreds of those foreign fairies attacked the winter border one night. We lost dozens of fairies." He looked down at their hands, so ashamed. "I led the fairies in that battle and when Neverland was attacked again a year later." Looking into her eyes and waiting for her revulsion, he whispered, "I have killed fairies, Clarion." His heart thundered, ready for her to pull away and leave him.

She studied his eyes and saw the guilt and scars he carried inside him. Softly cupping each side of his jaw, she looked into his heart. "And how many did you save? I know about the Neverland war and admit I thought it was fairies from other worlds fighting. I didn't know there were winter fairies until we met, so I didn't know about that war. But you were trying to protect our lands and our fairies. Your mannerism has such authority that I started to suspect you led fairies in the Neverland war. Am I bothered that you have killed? Of course, but I can understand that it was done for a just cause. I see it sometimes that you live with ghosts of your past, and it's not my place to judge you. I don't judge you. How can I when I might be sending our land into battle? Just because I do not cut down a fairy myself does not make my hands less bloodied." She searched his eyes. "Your heart is good, Milori," she said softly. "If we ever can have a child, you will teach her strength and kindness and teach her how to be a noble ruler, Milori. I would have no one else as her father."

His eyes searched her face. "I expected you to ask how many I've killed. Clarion, you could have so much better. I don't understand why you insist on me."

She sighed, saddened that his confidence had become so fragile over the years. "I don't expect you to understand right now; in time you will. I love you so much, but I think maybe I'm ready for something you're not yet."

"No, Clarion—" he started to argue, feeling his heart ache that he was hurting her.

She set a finger to his lips, her eyes misty. "You aren't calling me 'sweetheart.' If you ask me to be with you, I want you to be sure and not do it just because it's what I want or you think you have to fulfill something that started hundreds of years ago. We've only been back with each other a few days. I know that we've changed."

His brow furrowed with concern. "No, Clarion, I do love you."

"Milori," she cut in, her heart breaking but knowing she had to do this for him. "I know You were honest from the start that you had concerns. I think I've been dragging you along. You should be sure and be ready."

He shook his head. "No, I am sure about you. I have reservations about me. About if I'd be good for you."

"I know. It's not fair of me to be pushing you, and I didn't realize until now that's what I've been doing."

He shook his head, desperate to stop where this was headed.

"I think we need to slow things down."

He wanted to protest. But he knew in his heart that she was right, and she deserved to have someone who wasn't waiting for her to bolt. He needed time to get back in society. He needed to learn about himself again so he could be a better mate for her. She had been waiting for him for so long and now he was backing out momentarily. "I'm so sorry," he whispered with such regret, looking down at their hands.

She squeezed his hands tighter. "I don't begrudge you what you need," she said gently. "We'll fall apart if we're not both ready or sure. I know this isn't something we can fix in months."

When she stroked his cheek, he looked up to meet her eyes, and tears sprung to his eyes when he saw a tear roll down her cheek. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you," he said in a thick voice. "This has nothing to do with being sure about you—I am sure about you. I'm sorry, Clarion."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she buried her face against his neck and shook her head, holding back her tears of disappointment because she didn't want him to feel guilty. If he needed time to build his confidence and find himself again so their relationship could be strong, she would give it. This wasn't something he could do while immersed deep in a relationship. "I'll wait for you forever," she whispered against his neck.

He held her tighter.

Tink gaped at him. "Terence, I thought we're friends. I thought..." she said in confusion.

"We are friends. But I love you too. Don't you feel that way?" he asked, his eyes suddenly nervous and confused.

"I...I...I need to go talk to Queen Clarion," she rushed out and flew away.

Milori pulled back a bit, Clarion giving some resistance, and he realized she was trying to brush away tears before he saw. He swallowed hard and pulled back to wipe her tears away with his thumbs. "Don't hide your pain from me," he said softly, his own eyes growing misty.

"I don't want you to feel guilty," she sniffled, looking down at her lap and quickly brushing away her tears so he wouldn't have to again.

"Clarion, we need to be open with each other." He kissed her brow. "May I continue courting you? I understand if you want some distance," he asked gently. He leaned down to catch her eyes.

She looked at him, searching for something.

"I wouldn't ask you to court if I wasn't sure I can give you that."

"You also said you were going to ask me to mate when I was better," she replied softly, not accusing or angry. "I think maybe we should just focus on if we're going to war or not right now."

His heart fell. He had hurt her, and now she was scared to trust him that he wouldn't later back out of courting too. She was too hurt right now and trying to keep him from seeing it. He would rather break his wing all over again than cause her pain like this.

There was a knock at the door, and he turned to see Tinkerbell.

"Excuse me, I have a question for you, my queen. Maybe in private?"

"What is it, Tinkerbell?" Clarion asked as if relieved to have a distraction.

"I'll be in the hall," Milori said and squeezed Clarion's hand reassuringly as he got up. As soon as he got to the door, he heard Tinkerbell's words and stopped in his tracks.

"Queen Clarion, Terence asked me to mate."

He closed his eyes. This couldn't have come at a worse time. Turning, he looked at Clarion to see how she reacted to the news. She had her head bowed and took a deep breath. To the common observer, she looked like she was simply tired. But he knew she was trying to hold back tears. Then his heart tore a little when she looked up at Tinkerbell—Clarion's face was composed and strong...and so vacant of any emotion as she managed to seal away her heart. He slowly turned and walked out the door.

"I'm sorry to ask you, but I need to know if I deny him, will he fade or get hurt?"

Clarion's brow furrowed. "You do not wish to mate with him?"

Tink's wings drooped. "We are friends. I didn't know he thought of us as anything more. I'm not sure if I feel that way because it never really occurred to me. But I don't want to deny him if it will cause harm."

Clarion stood slowly, her body still a bit weak from being so ill, and walked over to Tinkerbell with her hands folded before her. "No harm will befall him if you deny him. But I suggest you be very gentle because it will crush him. If you think you might come to feel the same about him, be honest; if you don't think you will, tell him. It's cruel to let him hold out hope if there isn't any."

She nodded. "Maybe I should tell him I need time to think."

"Your initial reaction is probably what your heart says," Clarion answered slowly.

Tink bowed her head sadly. "He's going to be upset."

"You both would be more upset if you agreed and came to resent him."

"Yes. Thank you, Queen Clarion." She flew out the door in a hurry.

Milori stepped back in, his eyes searching her. "I didn't mean to be cruel. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm afraid that we will have resentments if we mated right now. I know it doesn't make sense, but a little pain now might save us much worse heartache later," he said sadly, having overheard their conversation.

She turned away to look out the window, struggling to remain composed. "It does make sense, and I respect you for putting the brakes on now," she responded quietly. "But it still hurts," she whispered. She saw his reflection in the window to see him clearly upset because he had hurt her. They needed some space apart at the moment before he gave in from guilt and she accepted out of heartache, causing them resentment down the road. "Please tell the guards to ready themselves to return to the castle."

He looked at her back sadly. She wanted space to attend to her broken heart alone, and he couldn't blame her if she hated him. But she still wasn't completely well and would have some difficulty when trying to fly again with the amputations changing the weight of her wings for her. He wanted to be there for her still, perhaps even being able to teach her how to compensate for the amputations. But she clearly was too hurt to want him around, and he understood how private it was to relearn how to fly and balance in front of others. So he would keep his distance if that's what she wanted. It would kill him to do it, but he would for her.

She saw his eyes grow sad and then he gave a small bow.

"Yes, my lady." He turned when he heard her speak softly.

"In the moment, did you really mean it that you would mate when I was better?"

He heard the quiver in her voice as she tried to figure out how much she hurt. He turned, looking at her wings that were still bandaged and her dress that shimmered just a hint less as it was want to do when she was upset. She had her arms wrapped around herself as if trying to protect her heart from the pain. She didn't know that he could see her face reflecting in the window pane and that he witnessed the tear rolling down her cheek as she kept her eyes focused outside. The sight of her so vulnerable and in pain from him was hard to bear.

"I never meant anything more," he said quietly. "But I have since realized that I am not in a place right now where I could be the mate you need. If you took me like this, I would end up destroying us. This is the only way I know how to fight for us. I would go to war and die for you—that's exactly what's happening inside my heart right now," he said in a thick voice.

She turned but he was already gone.

Tink flew back into spring, hoping Terence was still there. She spotted him down in the flowers still, sitting on the ground with his face buried in his hands. "Terence." She landed beside him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Tink?"

She pulled back and looked at him. He looked terrible as his stomach was eating him alive. She sat back on her heels and rested her hands on her thighs. "Terence, I'm sorry I left. It just caught me so off guard that I didn't know what to do."

He looked away. "I think that's kind of your answer," he said with a heavy heart.

"I've never thought of you in any way other than a friend. But maybe we could court?"

He blinked and looked at her.

"I can't promise it will go anywhere, but we don't know if we don't try."

A smile came over him. "Really?"

She nodded with a smile of her own.

"I would like that. I'm sorry, it wasn't really fair of me to skip courting and expect you to be on the same page."

She stood and held down her hand to help him up.

He took it and held on.

She wasn't sure if he was going to kiss her, and she didn't know if she wanted him to or not.

"Tink?"

"Hm?"

"I think you're the first female fairy to ask a male to court," he smiled and pecked a kiss on her cheek.

She blushed.

He winked. "Want me bad, huh?" he smiled and then tugged her hand as he started to fly.

She burst out laughing and flew up beside him, glad he was taking it so well. This is the Terence that she knew and liked.

He started to let go of her hand as they took off, but she held it tight the whole way to the tinker shop.


	25. Chapter 25

She was still staring out the window when Milori came back into the room.

"The guards are ready whenever you wish to depart, my lady."

His voice was serious and formal, as if only addressing his queen.

She turned and walked over, her back protesting the slight jostling of her wings. Stopping before him, she looked up into his eyes to see them observant but distant. "I know you need to get back to your duties, as I've kept you from them for several days. Thank you for taking care of me."

"You still need looking after until you're fully healed," he answered. "And you will need to relearn how to fly."

She searched his eyes, not sure what that comment meant, so she assumed he meant it as a warning. "I know," she answered calmly and forced herself to turn and head for the door.

"That's it? I get completely tossed aside now?" he demanded.

She spun around, her eyes flashing, but she kept her mouth shut.

His temper flared. "Say it!" he snapped.

She exploded suddenly. "I was lost to hallucinations for hours, and a tiny piece of my mind was aware I was insane! I was terrified, not knowing if it would end. I tried as hard as I could to hold onto what I knew was real—that if I could pull out of the nightmares where I could hear screaming, feel pain and see horrors, you would make me yours..." her voice cracked and tears started to gather in her eyes as she pointed at the floor angrily. "That you would wrap me in your arms and battle all of the nightmares that I know will come from the hallucinations. I'm not stupid, Milori. I know that fairies can become permanently insane from hallucinations, just like I heard Spruce tell you! I kept holding on as hard as I could because of you, and then I come out of it to find out you're backing out! I know you need this time, but I'm allowed to be hurt that you're revoking your word when I have waited over three hundred years for it!" she almost shouted. "You crushed me, Milori, and I have a right to need some space so I can deal with this without worrying that I'm making you feel guilty!" she barked.

"I know I've made you afraid to trust me and that I hurt you!" he said loudly, bordering on shouting as he stabbed a finger at his chest, his eyes glittering with pain and anger. "This isn't easy for me seeing you hurting and pushing me away! You are still weak and your wings will cause you grief until you learn how to compensate for them!"

"And I need time alone! You dealt with a broken wing alone; I can certainly handle the tips being amputated!"

"I don't want you dealing with it alone!" he shouted, so angry and hurt that the veins in his neck pulsated as he pointed at the ground. "I am like I am because I pushed you away when you came to help me! I insisted on not needing anyone when I most of all needed you! I won't let you make the same mistake."

"You are not staying out of pity," she almost hissed, her eyes narrowing.

He clenched his jaw. "I will stay as your damn body guard, if I must," he growled. "I don't care if you are my queen commanding me to go." He marched forward and wrapped her in his arms, kissing her passionately.

She wanted to resist, but he felt so perfect in her arms. Her heart ached for him, and his passion swept her away with him. They both were soon consumed by flames.

After a few minutes, he slowly broke the kiss but held her in his arms. Looking down into her dazed eyes he said softly, "You are so damn stubborn. Sometimes even a queen doesn't know what's good for her. I'm not going to back off courting you because I know it's not what you really want, and you need support right now both personally and politically now more than ever. I've been here, Clarion. Space right now would let you start pushing more and more fairies away until you become a recluse. It's painful doing that to yourself, hoping if you push away enough that the pain will fade. It gets worse. I'm not going to let you do that to yourself."

She searched his eyes, suddenly realizing how deep his wounds ran from when he had left her. And the way he read her like a book shouldn't have surprised her but it did.

"You will go back to the castle, but Dewey and Spruce will continue coming to make sure you're healing. I will take Thomas's place as your lead military advisor," he explained as he scooped her up in his arms.

"Oh you will?" she asked, almost amused as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he started down the hall.

"Yes. And we will start practicing your flight as soon as Spruce says you can safely do so."

"You're a bit high handed," she said, watching his reaction.

He looked down at her in his arms. "And you don't seem too upset that I'm pressing myself upon you," he countered. "Somehow I think you didn't really want me to leave you alone, and you being noble or some such nonsense. So, yes, I'm being high handed because every now and then you need it."

She felt a smile threaten to overcome her. "No one else would be permitted to take such liberties," she warned.

"Because no one else has the nerve. You like it that I'm not afraid to challenge you," he replied simply with his eyes forward.

She was about to half heartedly protest when they reached the doors and he stopped to meet her eyes.

"You're a strong female, Clarion. You need someone who can be just as strong." He walked through the doors and looked at the guards who were ready. "The search of the castle is done?" he asked Thomas.

"Yes, my lord. It is safe."

He gave a curt nod and then raised his voice in command. "I want full formation around Her Majesty, double lines!"

Milori set her down beside Blizzard, who was waiting patiently. He climbed up and then reached down, offering her his hand.

She looked up into his confident eyes. He didn't even realize it himself, but he had just in these minutes healed so much himself. This fairy was born a ruler and thrived in leading his people. Setting her hand in his, she saw the protectiveness in his eyes. He may have a strong disadvantage not being able to fly, but she knew he could well compensate for it in battle. And he had already proven he would go through Hell for her.

He helped take her weight as she climbed up and settled her in front of him on Blizzard lest she started to feel ill or weak. He wrapped his arm around her and his thighs tightened on Blizzard to make sure he had a good grip to keep them from falling off. He held the reins firmly with his other hand.

She sat sideways on Blizzard, her wings too sore to make contact with Milori's chest. Wrapping her arms around his middle, she rested her head on his chest as much from being tired as from wanting to feel him hold her close. He wrapped his strong arm around her, and she felt a warm wave wash over her. It was in that moment that she realized she felt as safe with him as she did with a dozen guards.

"Let's go!" he called. Then his arm tightened around her, prepared for takeoff. "Yah!"

The warm wind blew across her face, the feeling relaxing her as his heart beat strong and steady under her other ear. She closed her eyes and let her bandaged wings lean against his side for support as the wind tried to softly beckon them to open and fly. A soft sigh of contentment escaped her. How did Milori know better than her that this is what she needed, not space from him? She had seen him heal a bit today, somehow him coming to rescue her from herself had restored a little piece of his damaged heart. It gave her hope that he would one day soon get down on his knee. If they could overcome everything that has and was fighting to tear them apart, she knew that one day she would find a way for them to truly mate and unite their souls. And unite their bodies with the creation of a baby. She sighed softly again with contentment. She wouldn't give up hope again. If he had taught her anything today, it was that they would help pick each other up to fight for their life together.

He held Clarion safe in his arms, sensing her fear from earlier fleeting away. He had been afraid of pushing her too far by refusing to give her space, but it had turned out to be a risk worth taking. He realized now that she only had been getting lost in a storm and losing sight of hope. She needed him so much more than he had realized, and it made his chest swell with responsibility and protectiveness but, most of all, love. Together they would figure out how to fight for their happily ever after, and his fear that it would never happened died a little today. He felt like he could conquer the world.

"Let's take Her Majesty home!" he called to the guards.

She whispered softly to herself, "I am home," and nuzzled slightly closer to his chest.

The wind carried her words to his ears. It was only the fact that he was holding onto her and the reins to keep them from falling off that kept him from laying a hand over his heart as it melted upon hearing those three little words.


	26. Chapter 26

Terence dropped Tink off at the tinker shop while he went to talk to Fairy Gary at the dust shop.

Tink spotted a stick just on the other side of the shop that would work perfectly for building a prototype umbrella, so she flew over to pick it up.

"Hello!"

Tink looked up to see Silvermist waving as she flew over, carrying a dewdrop in her hand. "Hey, Silvermist!"

She landed before Tink and lifted up the dewdrop. "Look, it's the first one I've done!"

Peering inside, Tink laughed when she saw a tadpole egg inside. "What are you doing with that?"

She smiled. "I don't know. It's a talent for encasing things in water that we have to learn, though. Word is that the tadpoles you practice with get special flying powers."

Tink blinked and straightened, her face scrunching up. "Uh, I don't think that's true."

Silvermist's shoulders slumped. "Ohhh, and I named him Flappit."

"Flappit? He's a frog. Hey, Rosetta," Tink said when the fairy flew over.

"Hi, girls."

"But if he flies, instead of saying, 'Ribbit,' I think he'd say, 'Flappit' because he could flap his legs to fly," Silvermist explained.

Rosetta and Tink looked at each other, Rosetta's hand delicately resting on her chest. "Uh, do I wanna know what we're talking about?"

"Not really," Tink said and picked up her stick.

"Ahhh!" Rosetta squealed and ran over to Tink with her hands clasped together over her mouth.

"What?! What?!" Tink and Silvermist cried, looking around with wide eyes.

She practically bounced on her feet, pointing at Tink. "Tink's in love!"

"What?! No, I'm not!" Tink protested, her cheeks growing pink with embarrassment.

"You are! You have that look in your eye like Queen Clarion and Fairy Mary! Oh, sugar, you have to tell me how Terence asked to court you! Oh, I imagine it was so romantic!" she sighed wistfully.

"Wait!" Silvermist cried. "We have to get everyone to hear it at the same time!" She flew off with her dewdrop before Tink could respond.

"So, have you heard anything more about your winter fairy?" Tink asked, hoping to take the spotlight off of herself.

Rosetta looked like she had just wilted. "No. I don't even know his name! Or someone who knows him to ask them his name! It's enough to make my little heart just burst!"

"Well, I'm sure you'll run into him once the borders aren't closed," Tink reassured her, looking around to see if there was any chance she could make a run for it before all of their friends showed up, but she saw them all flying over through the summer field of daisies. She knew she looked like a frozen deer, with eyes bugging when they all landed to surround her.

"What's the news?" Fawn asked.

Iridessa giggled and clasped her hands under her chin. "It has to do with Terence, doesn't it?"

Tink blinked. "How does everyone know?"

"Everybody knows he's been in love with you forever," Iridessa answered.

They all squealed and surged forward. "Tell us what happened!"

"So you're dating," Vidia said dryly, standing back from the group.

Rosetta looked over her shoulder at Vidia. "Oh, sweetie, you'll get your turn...soon...uh...I think." She turned back to the group.

Vidia rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, leaning her weight on one foot.

"So, what happened?" Fawn asked with excitement.

"Well, we're courting," Tink said with her hands behind her back shyly.

"We know that!" Rosetta replied in exasperation. "Tell us how he asked you!"

"He kinda...asked me to mate." Tink looked around the group to see mouths hanging open.

"What did you say?!" Fawn gasped.

"How romantic!" Rosetta cried.

"What happened?!" Iridessa gasped.

The chatter was going all at once, and Tink didn't know who to listen to first. She did notice Vidia standing behind everyone with her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

Silvermist suddenly gasped, drawing everyone's attention. "Oh no! If you're courting and not mated when he asked you to mate..." She gasped again. "He exploded!"

She was met with silence.

"Why on earth would he have exploded?" Rosetta asked dryly.

Vidia cocked an eyebrow and looked at Silvermist. "Where do you get this stuff?"

Tink blinked at Silvermist and then turned her attention to the rest of the fairies. "I had no idea he likes me, so I panicked when he asked and went to Queen Clarion. I wanted to make sure that if I didn't accept his light wouldn't fade or something like that."

They leaned in eagerly to hear the story.

"She said it was fine, so I went back. He looked so heartbroken, but I asked if we could court instead," she smiled.

"Ohhhh!" they all cooed.

Milori landed just outside the castle doors. "Captain!" he called.

Thomas flew over as the guards all hovered close to Blizzard to protect Clarion. "Yes, my lord?"

"Tell your men there should be at least four guards in the hall to the Queen's chambers, and at least five outside her window at all times. If she's able to get out, it means someone is able to slip in. And I will find out who is responsible."

"Yes, my lord." He left to go give orders.

Milori let go of Clarion to slide down Blizzard. Then he turned and held up his arms for her. "Slide on your side so your wings don't get hurt. I'll catch you."

Without hesitation, she did as he said and his hands caught her hips to slowly ease her down onto her feet. Her hands rested on his shoulders still as she looked up at him. He gazed at her, and they forgot about everyone around them.

"Milori?" she asked softly, searching his honey-colored eyes that almost glittered in the sunlight.

"Hm?" he rumbled deep in his chest, wanting to lean in to kiss her. Her lips looked so soft and pink and were just waiting for him.

"Are you going back to winter?" she asked softly.

"Once you're settled I need to go back for a swim and then check on how everything is going. I'll be back before sunset."

Her brow furrowed. "Are you staying the night?"

He nodded. "I'll be in the hall so there isn't gossip."

She looked down at his muscular chest and hesitated.

Scooping her up, he started walking into the castle. "I think perhaps you want a private conversation."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, surprised that he could tell.

Once they were in her chambers, he left the door open just a hair for propriety and deposited her on the edge of the bed. He gently nudged her onto her belly, to her confusion, and then stood beside the bed to start massaging her back. "What did you want to say, sweetheart?"

"I was...oh, pixie dust, that feels so good..." she moaned when he worked out a kink between her wings that she hadn't even known was there. "...if..." Another moan escaped her, and she buried her face in the blankets to muffle it.

He chuckled, moving his hands down to the muscles under her wings.

"Sweet Neverland," she groaned.

"Shhhh," he chuckled. "They're all going to think I'm ravishing you."

"If it's this good, you can take me right now," she sighed, melting under his hands.

"Sweetheart, if I could even ravish you, it would be far superior to a back rub," he smiled, enjoying how soft her body was becoming as she relaxed. He pulled his hands away for a moment so she could focus and leaned down to her ear. "What were you trying to ask?"

She turned her head to look at him, and he knelt down beside the bed to be face level. He gently tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. "Will you stay close tonight?"

"Of course," he frowned when he heard the sadness in her voice. Setting a hand on her back, he rubbed it gently to comfort her. "I wouldn't be far. What are you worried about?"

She swallowed hard. "One of the hallucinations scared me more than the others, and I'm afraid I'll dream about it."

"Oh, sweetheart. I'll be just outside your door with some guards. Just call for me if you need me. I can't imagine something worse than the spiders, hawks and everything else you thought were eating you," he frowned, distressed what had her so upset. "What are you afraid of, love?"

Her lower lip quivered and tears pooled in her eyes, the grief in her face making him get teary eyed. "I hallucinated that I broke my wings and fell over a cliff in winter. I caught the edge but was barely hanging on." A tear fell down her cheek. "I was screaming for you, and you came but looked down over the edge. Then you walked away. I screamed for you, but you kept going. Then I fell."

He searched her eyes, not sure if she even realized it sounded like she was more afraid of him abandoning her again than that it had been a hallucination. Stroking her cheek he promised, "I would never leave you, Clarion. Never." He laid down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. Only a bit later after she had fallen asleep in his arms did he carefully get up.

Clarion woke up alone in bed and saw the sun not too far from setting. She pushed herself upright, looking around for Milori. When she set her hand down on the bed to get up to go look in the hall, she saw a note on the bed in elegant writing that she hadn't seen in hundreds of years but remembered as if it had been yesterday.

My dearest love,

I hope I'm there when you wake up, but if not, I will be back before sunset. I didn't want you to wake up alone, so I will leave you with this.

Take my hand, love, and we will fly,  
Without wings we will reach the sky,  
I see tomorrow just beyond the stars,  
Where love and happiness will soon be ours.  
Take my hand, love, we will see,  
Love overflowing through the sea,  
Without wings we will soar,  
I will love you forevermore.

She smiled with tears in her eyes that he had heard her song. Curiously, she continued reading a verse that he must have added. What he wrote made her tears overflow.

I will take your hand, love, and fly so high,  
Without wings our hearts will tie,  
I see tomorrow without scars,  
Where hope and dreams will soon be ours.  
I will take your hand, love, and just be,  
Our souls one, you and me,  
Without wings anymore,  
I've been given love and so much more.

I love you, sweetheart,

Milori


	27. Chapter 27

There was a knock on Tink's door later that evening.

"Knockity knock!" Terence called.

"Come in!" she grunted, working hard to get a wire to bend for the umbrella.

Terence flew in and landed near her, taking in the mess of lost things she had scattered around. The wire suddenly flew up and hit the ceiling before clattering on the floor into the mess. "Tink, you really should keep your workspace cleaner." He started picking up some things, trying to find the wire.

"Terence," she warned.

He froze and then dropped everything, with a sheepish smile. "I know, I know. You told me when we were working on the fall septor to not touch your stuff when you're tinkering."

She sat back on her heels and looked at the terrible contraption that was growing more and more deformed the longer she worked. "It doesn't look right, does it?"

He stood back, with a hand on his chin as he studied it. "I think it looks...good."

"What is it?" she asked him, with a cocked eyebrow.

"Um, a..."

"It's supposed to be an umbrella to wear on your head!" she said in defeat.

He cocked his head. "But if a fairy looks down, won't it move with his head and then his wings will get wet?"

Her eyebrows rose. "I didn't even think of that." She dropped her head into her hands.

He knelt down and put a hand on her shoulder. "Tink, it's alright. Let's go for a fly before dark. Take a break from it. You always get good ideas when you're flying."

When they were out for a relaxing fly, Tink noticed some of the fairies glancing at them while closing up shops and getting ready to turn in.

"Tink?" Terence whispered to her behind his hand, his eyes scanning everyone too. "Why is everyone looking at us?"

"I don't know," she shrugged when in truth she had a pretty good idea what was happening.

Just then, an animal fairy flew over and stopped them, her hands clasped before her. "Oh, I hope it works out for you two!" Then she leaned over to Tink and whispered kind of loud, "He'll ask again." Then she gave Tink an excited hug and flew away.

Terence looked at her suspiciously. "What was that about?"

"Nothing!" She flew on ahead quickly. "Look! The fireflies are coming out! I think I need to go home!"

He blocked her path. "Tink, did you tell anyone that we're courting?"

She folded her hands behind her back and gave a sheepish shrug.

"Tink! That's kind of personal when we're still trying to figure out if we're on the same page!"

A couple of the male dust fairies flew past. "Better luck next time, Terence!" they laughed.

Tink paled and her eyes flew to Terence.

He looked at her, clearly hurt. "You told everyone I proposed, didn't you?"

She swallowed hard and tried to set a hand on his arm but he backed up. "I told my friends because I felt guilty and wanted their opinions if I did the right thing."

"And you couldn't talk to me about it? I don't want you to be with me because you feel guilty! Tink, I can't believe you told everyone! That was private!"

"I didn't tell everyone! Maybe you should have thought my reaction through better about skipping courting and proposing out of the blue!" she said loudly, her face getting red.

There were soft gasps, and they looked to see everyone in the shops around them staring.

"I guess I should have," he said quietly and flew away in humiliation.

"Wait, Terence!" she called, but his glow was already on the far side of the field. "Jingles!" she growled and kicked at a dandelion.

Clarion climbed out of the hot tub, the heat and Milori's massage helping her back immensely. The sun was almost done setting. She reached for her leaf towel but realized she had forgotten to bring it from the bedroom. She was tiptoeing quickly across the cold floor when she slipped on her wet feet. She tried to grab the shelf to catch herself, a squeak of surprise escaping her lips. The shelf snapped from her weight and bottles came crashing down on her. She coughed as a cloud of baby powder, that her healer for some reason insisted she keep on hand in case her wings got too damp with the humidity of summer, engulfed her. Waving her hand around, she tried to clear the air.

"Clarion! Are you alright?!" Milori called through the door. He sounded so close that she realized he was on the other side of the washroom door.

"I'm fine," she coughed and rubbed her hip that she had landed on. She tried to sit up but something was tugging on her sore wing. Leaning up on her elbow in a half sit, she looked over her shoulder to see a bottle of old honey that had broken open on her wings and was starting to dry her wing to the floor. Desperately trying to reach back to help free her wing, she squirmed this way and that but couldn't get to it. "No," she whimpered, her face growing red at the thought of needing help when she was more bare than the day she had been born.

"What's wrong?" he called.

She saw his shadow under the door. "Um, my wing is stuck," she whimpered.

"May I come in?" He sounded worried.

"No!" she cried in a panic. "I forgot my towel on the bed." She looked around for something to cover herself but there was nothing besides bottles.

"I won't look. I have the towel." He stepped in, keeping his head turned and held out the towel.

"Toss it to the left."

He did and it landed on her leg.

She kicked it up to her hands and spread it over herself the best she could. It barely covered her from under her arms down to her thighs, but it would have to do. She really had to get larger towels. A soft whimper of distress escaped her. If it slipped at all, he would get an eyeful.

"Are you sure you're not hurt?"

"No. Alright," she finally said, her face flaming.

He turned his head and took a step toward her but stopped and blinked. A deep, baritone belly laugh escaped him as he knelt down and started to inspect her wing. "I'm sorry. You look cute all full of powder," he smiled. "Oh, goodness, this is quite stuck," he frowned.

"Yes, I know," she said dryly.

He smiled and got up to fill a basin with very warm water before returning and getting settled on the floor with a rag to get to work.

"Isn't that too hot for you?" She looked at him over her shoulder.

"No. If it gets to be too much, I just need to have you frost my hands," he winked at her and then set to work. "I meant to be here when you woke up. I thought you'd sleep longer."

She propped herself up on both her elbows, and he swept some of her hair over her shoulder so it wouldn't get in the honey. "Your letter was a good substitute," she blushed, staring ahead at the door.

"I didn't hear that song until you were in surgery," he said quietly and leaned over on his hand to look her in the eye. "It's what you wrote in your letter all those years ago that I didn't read, isn't it?"

Searching his eyes, she slowly nodded.

He leaned forward and kissed her brow sadly. "I'm not sure if I wish I would have read it. I couldn't be near you for so long because I was too cold to even touch you, but, at the same time, I was so scared all of these years that you wouldn't see past my wing."

Her brow furrowed sadly. "I never saw it, Milori. I still don't see it."

He swallowed hard and looked away for a moment, nodding slowly. "I know that now." He cleared his throat and went back to work on her wing.

She hated seeing him sad with regret, so she changed the subject for him. "Everything is fine in winter?"

"Yes, Sled and Gliss have it under control. You'll be so happy to know that I brought Spruce along." The teasing tone was evident in his voice. "I think it's probably good because I'm not having much luck with this, and I'm not sure if warmer water is safe for your wing." He got up and disappeared into her bedroom.

She groaned, not really wanting another male to see her like this.

Milori walked back in with a large blanket. He wiped up the powder on the floor around her and then tried to brush it off her wet hair the best he could. She tried to brush it from her shoulders, but the towel threatened to fall. He smiled and gently brushed her shoulders for her. She noticed a handful of white dust particles trickle off his fingers as he did so, and the look in his eyes turned more tender than it had been a moment ago. She felt herself falling into his gentle eyes, her heart melting.

He quickly withdrew his hands. "I'm sorry," he said and looked embarrassed. He busied himself with wrapping the blanket around her quickly. "You're very beautiful," he said quietly as if that explained what had happened. Then he hurried out of the room, to her confusion.

He returned a moment later with Spruce, who had a bottle of something. "You do keep me on my toes," Spruce smiled and knelt down to rub the ingredient on her wing.

She glanced up at Milori, who was hovering as if he needed to oversee her care. But he didn't make eye contact with her.

Her wing was freed and Milori helped her sit up from the front and Spruce held a hand on her back as he held out her gooey wing. Milori reached around her to pull up the blanket to cover her backside from Spruce's view.

"Actually, I need to check her back to make sure the nerves and muscles aren't causing problems from the amputations. I suspect not using her wings while they heal will cause some stiffness," Spruce said.

Milori didn't look too pleased but stood. "I'll wait outside. He does a full, full back exam," Milori explained when she looked confused why he was leaving. He looked at Spruce pointedly as he said, "I'll be right outside the door."

"I think I'm offended, friend," Spruce frowned.

Clarion looked up at Milori, never having heard anyone address him so informally.

He cocked an eyebrow. "I would be offended if I thought you truly needed the reminder." Then he glanced at Clarion to see her smiling over the fact that he was being protective. He walked out and shut the door behind himself.

Spruce wiped off her wing gently and then started feeling her wing support frame in her back. "Are you having trouble with balance?"

"No," she frowned.

"I suspect you might have slight difficulty when your wings are open again. Flight might be slightly difficult at first too because the edges of your wings are reshaped, so you won't have as much surface area to flap with."

"I thought the tips were amputated," she frowned.

"They were, but the shape is a bit more jagged, and the weight is slightly bottom heavy." He carefully held out one of her wings for her to see.

"Oh."

"They won't look different to the common observer."

She nodded. She only cared what one fairy thought, and he had not shown any adverse feelings about the new shaping. "You have known him for a long time?"

"He's a stubborn one, so we were simply comrades when we met the same day we were born. I had to hound him after his wing broke to see any healer, if not me. I still press myself upon him once a month to monitor how his back handles everything. As I mentioned this morning, he should be seeing me every other day for massages and ice treatments to slow down the arthritis and just help him be able to get up in the mornings without pain from his wings being stationary. Eventually it could be tapered back to every couple days. I've tried telling him that he's hurting himself, but he's so stubborn. I have more and more physical resistance each month when I move his wings."

"What does that mean?" she asked over her shoulder as he ran his fingers down her spine.

"That the arthritis is getting into his wing joints and will eventually lock them up," he sighed.

She hissed in a breath when he pressed on her spine right between her wings.

"Sorry. Having the weight of your wings down is causing muscle strain when they're used to holding your wings up. Massages and compresses will help with that."

His hands skimmed down her spine so low on her back that she blushed.

"You have some bruising here. Does it hurt?" He pressed on the back of her hips.

"A little. That's where I landed when I fell, I think."

"Ah. We'll watch it to make sure it's not a fracture, but you should already have more pain than that for a fracture."

"I was wondering what it means when a male releases a little bit of white dust not during mating," she asked carefully.

He sighed. "Milori has gradually become different from other fairies; other males cannot release white dust unless in the act of mating." He pulled the blanket back up and then started gently extending her wings. "I think that it's a question better suited for him. He knows it happens but refuses to talk too much with me about it. I think he might be more open with you." He stood. "Well, everything looks as good as can be expected. You haven't gained any more winter talents, have you?"

She shook her head, her mind on Milori.

"Alright. I'll stop by tomorrow night."

"Thank you," she said softly. When Spruce closed the door, she got up, washed off the baby powder, and slipped on her nightdress and robe before stepping out into the bedroom. Milori was standing at the window looking out at the stars, with his arms folded over his chest and his profile facing her. Spruce was gone.

"The door isn't that thick," he said quietly without looking at her.

"I'm sorry," she answered softly and walked over to stand beside him. "I didn't think about it at the time that I should have asked you if I may talk to him."

"Why can't you talk to me?" he replied quietly.

She looked up at his strong profile, searching his face. He seemed a little hurt but mostly sad. "You are so stubborn that I wasn't sure if you would tell me the complete truth," she admitted and rested a hand on his muscled forearm.

"It doesn't bother me so much that you just asked him. You're free to know whatever you wish medically. What bothers me is you didn't trust me and didn't try to talk to me first," he frowned and looked at her, almost more confused than hurt. "I won't tell even Spruce or Dewey some things, but I'll tell you whatever you ask and be truthful about it. I hope you would do the same."

She nodded and pulled his arms away from his chest to step into them. Holding him tight, she rested her head against his shoulder. "You seemed so embarrassed when it happened," she whispered. "I don't want you to ever be ashamed of anything."

He wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. A deep sigh escaped his lips. "Spruce thinks that even though I can't mate, sometimes desires can still escape. Over the years, I've become abnormally able to produce a minute amount of white dust under certain conditions."

She looked up at him in concern. "Is Spruce worried about it?"

He shook his head, his eyes focused out the window.

"I thought a female has to give consent and her kiss releases a nectar to trigger the production of the dust," she replied, confused how it was happening.

A soft smile overcame him. "You told me three hundred years ago that you would agree. Apparently it's enough to trigger it." Then his smile faded. "It's a small amount both because there is no nectar and I just can't mate."

It hurt hearing him so sad, but she wanted to fully understand what he was going through. "May I ask what circumstances trigger it?" she ventured carefully.

She saw his throat convulse as he swallowed. Then he dragged his eyes down to her, but his grip around her didn't loosen. "He thinks that I'm mentally able to...desire you. I don't think of you in a disrespectful way," he added quickly. "But it happens sometimes when I'm watching you. He said that he thinks the emotional desire to mate with you is strong enough to trigger a hint of a physical response," he said softly, slightly embarrassed but mostly growing lost in her tender look.

She cupped his cheek. "That's not abnormal," she said softly. "It's romantic." She stood on her toes and kissed him. Sensing he was emotionally vulnerable right now, she slipped her hand under his broken wing to gently press on the spot that would ease his back pain. As she suspected, his wings lifted just a bit as he drank in her kiss. She wished he would propose because perhaps with her nectar, he would be able to produce enough dust for them to truly mate and bind their glows. "I love you, Milori," she whispered between kisses. "I love you just as you are, just you."

His arms wrapped around her a little tighter. "Clarion," he whispered and kissed her deeply.

She felt his back flex and was surprised when she opened her eyes to see his wings raised. His body tensed as if he was starting to realize how strongly his instincts were reacting. He broke the kiss and looked at her, obviously surprised that he had lost control.

At that instant, Thomas and another guard opened the door that Milori had left cracked open, both of them having forgotten about it. Milori leapt back, startled by the intrusion and his own instincts. The guards looked at them, dumbfounded themselves. Then their eyes landed on Milori's wings slowly settling back down.

"Thomas," Clarion said firmly in warning, the first one of them to regain her senses.

The guards scurried out and shut the door.

She turned to Milori, whose broken wing wasn't fully lowered, and walked over to help. "I'm sorry, I thought your wings might rise like last time, but I didn't want them to hurt you again." She gently pressed on the joint in his back that Spruce told her was becoming riddled with arthritis and prevented much movement. She gently guided his wing back down.

"Forgive me, I shouldn't have taken liberties like that," he apologized and stepped away before she had his wing down. She saw the sharp pain shoot through his face as he forced his wing down with his back muscles. He was ramrod straight as if he had hurt his back.

"Milori, let me help. You need a backrub," she protested, sensing he was getting ready to bolt.

He caught her hand when she reached for him but didn't bend over it as usual when he brushed a kiss over her knuckles. "Goodnight, my lady," he said softly. "I'll make sure I haven't caused gossip about you." Then he turned and was at the door when she caught his arm. He stopped but didn't turn to face her.

She saw his wings quivering as if trying to rise again. "Milori, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." This wasn't how she wanted them to say goodnight. She didn't want him to leave feeling responsible and ashamed of what he couldn't give her.

He half looked over his shoulder at her. "I don't trust myself right now. You deserve better than a half-attempted tryst in secret at night. We need time, Clarion. Time to build us strong enough to handle the burdens that I bring and the burdens of being rulers yet lovers. Right now I want you so much I don't trust that I'm not just a kiss away from asking you to mate. Part of me is afraid if Spruce is right that your answer from years ago is enough for us to somehow be able to go too far. If I can somehow barely mate you, it won't be in secret in your chambers like a rendezvous and it won't be right before a war."

She stepped before him to search his eyes. "If it comes to war, you're leaving with the soldiers, aren't you?" she suddenly realized.

His eyes were hard, forcing himself to hide his heart and be strong for her sake. "It's my duty to lead our kingdoms in battle," he snapped.

She searched his eyes desperately. "But if you can mate, I can help protect you. Our glows will feed off of each other's pixie dust, and I can help keep you alive," she begged.

"If I die in battle, you become weak during the year of mourning and your light fades twice as fast without me. If you have six hundred years left, it will cut to three hundred, possibly four hundred if your powers are strong enough. At least if we wait until after the war, I will fade only two hundred years before you. You will be strong enough by then for it to not shorten your lifespan," he snapped, his voice on the verge of quivering with anger over the injustice to their love.

Her brow furrowed. "Milori, if we mate, your lifespan lengthens to match mine."

He took a step back and looked at her as if she had grown another head.

She took his hand, but he pulled it away and she saw a few flecks of white dust on her finger. Realizing he was battling himself on so many levels, she kept the physical distance. "Milori, I've been thinking that if it's simply altitude that is preventing us from mating, we can go to a mountain. You can still flap your wings, and I think you're strong enough with your muscles to hold me even if you can't make enough dust to hold me as close as other fairies during mating," she said, her heart filling with hope. "I know that you need some time first, but you should know that I think it's possible to mate and maybe have a baby. I can talk to Spruce and ask him if this would work. Maybe just once is all it would take for a baby-"

"Stop it!" he yelled, not able to take her digging in his wounds any longer to attempt to find the source of his pain and remove it.

She startled hard and looked up at him with wide eyes, confused why he wasn't happy that this might work.

"Just stop!" He slashed his hand through the air angrily. "We cannot mate! We cannot have a child! And I will fade two hundred years or more before you! My last few years will be spent trying to find a fairy worthy enough for me to give you to him!" He pointed at his chest with angry tears in his eyes. "I have to help you find someone to take my place, knowing he will mate with you to give you an heir!" he cried. "It makes me sick thinking of someone else touching you! Of someone else's baby growing in your belly where I desperately wish I could give you mine! Of knowing there are two hundred years where I won't be there to protect you!" His voice slowly calmed. "I love you so much that sometimes I don't know how it's possible we have separate bodies and hearts." His eyes searched her that were filling with tears. "It breaks my heart that I cannot give you what you want most, Clarion," he said softly, his temper dying, and he gently brushed away her tears.

Those big blue, innocent eyes looked up at him. "I want you," she whispered. "I want to figure out a way to give you a family and everything you think you can't have," she explained softly.

He pulled her to him and kissed her head as he held her tight. "I want us, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I'm not angry with you, just myself."

She wrapped her arms around him. "Don't. I would rather have to lose you in four hundred years than to never be with you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think I wasn't happy without those things. I want to give them to you."

He kissed her hair again. "I know, sweetheart. I think we need to just get some sleep tonight. It's been a hard day, and we've said 'sorry' tonight more times than I can count."

She gave a watery laugh and brushed at her eyes as he pulled back. "Is your back alright?"

He nodded and seemed more relaxed in his posture than a few minutes ago. Brushing a kiss over her lips, they said goodnight after he tucked her in.

When he stepped into the hall, he saw the guards silently standing watch. Thomas gave him a meaningful nod, and Milori knew gossip wouldn't leak out. He stepped around the corner to an empty hall and leaned back against the wall, the cold wood helping with the aching in his back. He looked up at the ceiling, fighting down something trying to rise inside his chest. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible. None of them had been able to think of anything in hundreds of years. He didn't want to believe that maybe Clarion had figured it out. What she said made so much sense. It was so simple yet so obvious it had been overlooked time and time again. They might be able to mate. And have a baby. Mating on a mountain would give them the altitude they needed. He could still flap his wings, although barely. But his muscles were larger than other fairies' and he could safely hold her up without needing to hold her as close as a weaker fairy. Her wings would need less white dust that way. That thing in his chest felt like it was gradually bubbling up...an emotion. His chest heaved as he tried to not weep as the emotion swelled too big to be contained in his body. To hold Clarion forever and see her grow with his baby. To have a family and a home and a life with her. To live out their lives together. His chest hurt. He had kept this feeling locked out these past few days since returning to her, afraid it couldn't be real and everything would be snatched away from them again in a heartbeat. The emotion finally burst forth as giant tears from his eyes and a smile that overcame him. A watery laugh escaped his lips as he wept. He remembered this feeling that had died the day he had left Clarion. It now threatened to consume his entire being. It was joy.


	28. Chapter 28

Clarion woke up shortly after midnight from her stomach growling and realized that she hadn't eaten dinner. After a few minutes of trying to go back to sleep, she surrendered to the hunger pains and slipped on her robe. Peeking out the door, she saw a handful of guards scattered down the hall. Milori was speaking to Thomas quietly near her chambers. A frown marred her features when she noticed he had a sword sheathed on his hip. Opening the door further, Thomas and the other guards immediately bowed their heads in acknowledgement. Milori turned around and looked slightly surprised to see her. He walked over quickly.

"Is everything alright?"

Searching his eyes, she noticed he was on edge. Something had happened.

"Yes, I was just going to go to the kitchen. Is everything here alright?"

"I'll escort you," he said and slipped her hand through his arm. He kept a hand over hers that rested on his arm, tense and his eyes alert for something. He jerked his head at one of the guards and two started to follow.

"What's going on?" she asked quietly under her breath and glanced up at him.

"In a moment," he replied quietly.

When they reached the kitchen, she was baffled when he had the two guards start sweeping through the cupboards and pantry. He stayed in the hall with her, a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"We found a fairy hiding in the attic. None of us have seen him before," he said quietly under his breath, his eyes scanning around them for danger. "I've had the castle swept twice, as well as the borders. We haven't seen any others thus far. He speaks a different language."

"I can try talking to him. It's possible he speaks Alameze if he's part of the fairy world that existed before us."

He looked down at her with a furrowed brow. "And you know this tongue?"

She nodded.

"What else do you know about these fairies?"

"Well, they move into new lands, slaying anything in their path. They are 'feeders'—they rape the lands until nothing is left and then move on."

His eyes searched hers, clearly unsettled. "Have you seen them?"

"I didn't know it at the time, but Bernard had this odd mark on his upper arm that I saw once. It was almost like a black circle on his skin. I thought he was hurt, but he said it was nothing and brushed me off. I read in one of Dewey's books that said the black circle is a tattoo mark of their people."

"And they all have black hair with one blue eye and one brown?" he asked, his eyes narrowing on her.

"I don't know, but Bernard did. Why?"

"Clarion, this is not good," he said in distress and started pacing. "I think the fairies who attacked us all those years ago, the Black Shadows, are related, but they are said to be much more gentle. 'Gentle' cost us nearly two hundred fairies last time. I don't know that we can handle the Alamur." He ran his hand over his ponytail in distress.

"What do you know of the Alamur? How do you know of them?" She walked over to him quickly, her brow furrowed with fear. He kept pacing. "Milori!" she cried in a panic. "I am the only one who has Dewey's book about them, and I keep it locked up in my room! How do you know?!" Dewey assured her that no one had seen him write the book. The things in it were so dark that she had nightmares for several days after reading it. The very existence of the book frightened her as if it contained an evil aura.

He turned and faced her, ghosts floating in his eyes. "Because when the Black Shadows attacked us, I traded myself for a dozen of our fairies they threatened to slay. I think the Black Shadows were being chased out of their lands by the Alamur."

He looked into her eyes and chills ran up her spine. She knew what he was going to say but willed it not to be true. He knew too much. He even knew things she didn't know.

"I spent four of the worst days of my life at the hands of the Alamur."

She was shocked and horrified but most of all afraid because she had never seen Milori afraid.

The floor creaked behind him. In the amount of time it took for her to process the noise, Milori had his sword out and pressed to a throat.

Thomas held up his hands. "Sorry."

They both sighed with relief and Milori sheathed the sword. "You'd best make your presence known if you want to keep your head," Milori advised.

"Yes, my lord. May I have a word?" He glanced at Clarion with uncertainty, rubbing the freshly shaven spot on his throat.

Milori didn't look pleased. "Whatever you need to say can certainly be said in front of Her Majesty. You are to report to her now that she is well," Milori commanded in a tone he only used with the guards.

Clarion noticed that Milori didn't appoint himself Thomas's superior. He must be waiting for her to make the announcement, for which Milori earned another tenfold of her respect.

Thomas gave a small bow. "My apologies, my queen. I have spoken with Captain Sleet, and he reported no findings in winter."

"Sleet is the captain of my soldiers," Milori filled in for her.

She looked at Milori, whom she knew was thinking the same thing as her but leaving it up to her to make the call. She addressed both of them. "I want all ministers in the seasons and both captains to hold council mid-morning tomorrow at the border."

Thomas bowed, ready to go deliver the message when Milori spoke up. "I suggest we meet in the castle, my lady. All leaders out in the open is not safe."

Feeling her face flame for such an obvious and stupid mistake, she nodded in agreement. Thomas departed and Milori took her into the kitchen once it was declared safe.

"Do you want to eat?" she asked him as she dug in the cupboard.

"I'm fine," he replied, tensely.

She opened the cupboard. And squeaked in surprise and jumped back.

Milori was immediately in front of her with his sword drawn.

"Milori," she sighed and stepped around him. She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a trembling firefly. "Blaze, you know you aren't allowed in the kitchen," she smiled and cuddled him in her arms.

He was staring at Milori with huge eyes even though the sword was resheathed. He squeaked.

"No, he's not going to hurt you," she cooed.

"You talk to fireflies?" Milori asked dryly.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "You talk to owls." She carried Blaze to the window.

Milori looked out to make sure no one was outside and then opened it for her.

"Go home to Tink," she scolded and tossed Blaze into the air gently so he could take flight.

He squeaked goodnight and flew away.

Milori shut the window while she made a sandwich.

"Come," she told him and headed back for her room.

He caught up with her in four strides. "I sense we're going to talk?"

"Are you sleeping tonight?"

"Just a nap. We are too vulnerable right now to sleep."

"Good, then we can talk." They went inside her room, and she closed the door fully.

"Cracked open," he ordered.

"Damn my reputation," she replied. "We need to talk." She sat down on the bed, and he irritatingly started to head for a chair. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to sit on the edge of the bed. "Enough chivalry, Milori. We need to discuss some things."

He gave an exasperated sigh. "I don't want to talk about being imprisoned."

"We are facing war, and you have knowledge about the enemy that we all need to know. You can either tell me here or do it tomorrow in front of everyone. Plus, as your mate, I should know what you've gone through," she answered matter of factly and took a bite of her sandwich.

He cocked an eyebrow. "We aren't mated."

"We're half mated, and we will be fully mated are as soon as this damn war is done. Sit."

"Am I being ordered by the Queen into mating?" he asked, the surprise evident in his voice. He didn't sit.

She looked him squarely in the eye and nodded, her mouth full of food.

A chuckle escaped him. "Alright then, it looks like I don't have a choice." He sat.

She swallowed. "As if you object," she replied.

He smiled for a moment, but then it faded when she set aside her plate and sat cross-legged on the bed to face him. "Clarion, I think that it's best if we keep things professional right now." He met her eyes to see her smile fade and an expression of hurt and confusion overcome her face. "Hear me out. First, it's too easy to get distracted right now if I don't stay focused and alert. All it takes is one second of me losing focus for you to end up dead." He laid his hand over hers in her knee. "Second, your warm fairy soldiers aren't familiar with me, and I need their complete trust. If it comes to war, I need them all to trust me without question. In war, following a command without hesitation in a split second can mean life or death. I don't want them thinking I'm in charge because I'm favored by the Queen."

She nodded and looked down at her hands in thought, understanding what he was saying.

He bent down slightly to catch her eye. "I'm not trying to back out of anything," he said gently, obviously concerned what she was thinking.

"No, I know. I'm just thinking." She looked at him. "I don't quite understand all of this war strategy and everything. I think I need you to lead the meeting tomorrow."

He nodded. "Of course. And we'll explain anything that you don't follow."

She studied his face. "I think it would be wise for Thomas to be aware that you've dealt with these fairies before," she said gently.

He released a deep sigh. "I know. I was thinking that myself."

"Was Sleet in the war with you?"

"Yes," he sighed with regret. "He's actually the one who rescued me in the nick of time."

"Will you tell me what happened?" she asked softly and turned her hand over to hold his.

"It's not a good bedtime story," he replied quietly, his eyes staring at the floor as he got lost in memories.

"Milori?" she asked gently.

He looked up at her, the ghosts fleeing his eyes.

"I'll listen whenever you want to tell me." She got up on her knees and shifted to set herself in his lap. Resting her hand on his cheek and absently stroking it with her thumb slowly, she looked into his eyes, her lip quivering as terror filled her heart. "You must promise me that you will come back if we go to war. I don't care what happens to you or how many limbs go missing, do you understand?" she demanded with tears in her eyes.

He swallowed hard. "You must promise to take care of yourself while I'm gone. Wherever I am and whatever I'm doing, I want to know that you're alright and when I get home we can be together and work on that baby," he said in a thick voice.

A tear fell down her cheek and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm so scared for you," she whispered.

"I will be alright, sweetheart."

She knew that he wasn't going to tell her what had happened when he had been caught, at least not before the war because he knew it would drive her mad to let him walk back into the danger.

They were all seated at the large table in the Queen's study the next morning. Milori had insisted on arriving before her both to show that she still held seniority by making them wait a few minutes and to establish some form of camaraderie with Thomas.

She entered and everyone stood with a bow. She walked around the table to go to her seat, nodding to Gliss and Sled on her way past. She walked past the back of a fairy whom she didn't recognize, standing beside Milori just to the right of her chair.

This fairy had slightly unkept black hair a bit longer than Milori's and was broad and nearly as muscular as Milori. He wore black, with a leather sash-like sash across his chest. He turned his head to look at her, and she was grateful for her command over her reactions for she would have half screamed otherwise. Instead, her footsteps faltered only enough for Milori to notice. The fairy had a black eye patch and deep scars across his face that were blue from winter fairy scar tissue. His face was hard and scruffy as if he hadn't shaved in several days. He appeared wild and fierce, but it wasn't any of that which made her immediately nervous. It was the darkness in his blue eye that reflected horrors she had never seen in another living soul. Never had she been so deeply terrified of another fairy, not even of Bernard.

She continued to her seat, glancing at Milori nervously. He gave a slight, reassuring nod to her. When she reached her seat, Milori delivered her a bow before they sat, just as he had done at every other council meeting hundreds of years ago. Her heart would have melted if the devil hadn't been standing on his other side.

"May I introduce Captain Sleet of the Winter Army, Your Highness?" Milori said.

Instantly noticing he was addressing her more formally than he ever had, she took his cue that they were to be very distant for some reason.

He turned his head to the fairy next to him, and she had to force her jaw to not drop. What in Neverland was Milori doing with such a disturbed fairy as leader of his army?

The fairy gave a bow with his head, clearly not willing to show any further subordination. "My queen," the creature replied, his voice deep and rough on her ears.

She gave a nod to him, and everyone sat.

Milori watched her closely, and he could tell that under her calculated expression of a calm ruler there was fear. She kept her gaze away from Sleet for the most part, letting her eyes sweep over him whenever she turned her attention to Milori. Milori smiled to himself, impressed that she didn't want Sleet to know she was afraid of him. He had talked to Sleet ahead of time, warning him that he was among civilized fairy in this room, his queen in particular. Sleet obviously knew Milori was involved with Clarion, but he didn't elude to it or ask questions. Milori knew that Sleet didn't hurt females, but he didn't respect them in positions of authority either. Sleet was the only fairy with which Milori had to rule with an iron fist. Even then, Milori suspected that obedience was only done out of gratitude for the time Milori had saved Sleet's neck years ago. Sleet did make one hell of a captain, though. The sooner this meeting could be done and Milori could get Sleet away from Clarion, the better.

"The fairy who was caught last night is no longer glowing," Thomas told Clarion, cutting into Milori's thoughts.

She blinked. "What do you mean? What happened?"

Sleet snorted under his breath, and Milori gave him a warning look. But Sleet ignored it and sat back in his chair. "The Black Shadows rip their own wings if they're caught by the enemy to kill themselves so they lose all of their sugar so they won't have information tortured out of them," he smirked.

Clarion heard the gasps around the table and felt her own face pale slightly. Such evil was not heard of.

Milori looked angry and his head jerked around to Sleet. "That's enough," he growled.

Sleet shrugged. "Not my fault she can't handle it. She'll be in for a bloody surprise when she finds out what they do to Bright Fairies for kicks."

Milori's hands were fisted, and he held the edges of the table as if trying not to punch Sleet. "Another word and you will be dismissed from your position before you even open your mouth," Milori snarled through clenched teeth. "I will not play games," he bit off each word, his eyes piercing Sleet. "Am I anything less than crystal clear?" he demanded harshly.

The room was completely silent, no one ever having heard Milori so hostile.

Sleet gave a bored sigh. "Yes, my lord," he ground out as if 'my lording' anyone was beneath him.

Milori turned to her. "Our apologies, Your Majesty."

She realized that the formalities were for Sleet for some reason. "What are Bright Fairies?" she asked him and ignored Sleet's eye roll that Milori didn't see.

"It is what Black Shadows call us, Your Highness," Milori replied, his temper cooled again. He pulled out a paper from his pocket. "We also found this," he finished solemnly and laid a note before her.

She kept her hands in her lap and didn't touch it when she realized it was written in sugar. She was filled with horror...until she saw the words.

Take your flight,  
All at night,  
In the fall,  
They all will maul.

Her eyes flew up to Milori and a chill ran up her spine. "What does it mean?"

"I don't think they're looking for a war. I believe they're saying that if we gather an army and try to leave at night, they will be waiting to slaughter us in the Fall season," he said quietly, watching her reaction.

She drew a deep breath and stared at the table, finally coming unglued. The enemy as much as admitted to having them surrounded, if Milori was correct. Their entire kingdom could be slaughtered at any minute. Resting her head in her hands, she tried to think. Even with their armies combined, they had little more than a hundred. They would be massacred in less than a day. She didn't know such nightmares truly existed for fairies. "Why?" she asked softly to no one in particular.

Sleet snorted. "Why, whoever kills the queen becomes a ruler as powerful as she."

She felt the sugar drain from her face.

Milori shot to his feet and started to reach for Sleet's neck collar to drag him out when she held out her hand to stop him.

Holding Sleet's eye, she asked, "How is it you are so familiar with these fairies?"

"I forbid you to answer that," Milori growled down at Sleet. "Forgive me, Your Highness, but that is not something you should hear from him first," he said without turning his attention to her.

Sleet looked up at Milori, who was still standing, and then sat forward, leaning his arms on the table. He looked Clarion in the eye, his cold glare cutting right through her. Her body ran cold, and she suddenly wasn't sure if even Milori was enough protection against the darkness in this creature. "He and I," he wiggled his finger between himself and Milori before Milori could speak, "spent days being tortured in ways that yer pretty little head can't even fathom so we would give up information about you."


	29. Chapter 29

Milori turned to her immediately. It wasn't panic that filled his eyes like she expected—it was remorse. Her breath caught in her throat. He wouldn't have. Even though he hadn't known her at the time, he wouldn't have betrayed his queen. She regained her composure in the blink of an eye and looked at Sleet with hard eyes.

"You are on dangerous ground, Captain. I suggest you tread carefully," she warned, her voice cold and impregnated with steel.

She could feel Milori uncertain if he should step in or leave the situation in her hands. He remained standing as if waiting for her to throw one or both of them out.

Sleet held her eyes, and she didn't back down. He leaned forward on the edge of his chair, pointing a finger down on the table hard. "You think we would trade in our queen for our hides?" he growled deep in his chest.

The room was absolutely silent, everyone waiting to see what would happen to the stranger who dared to challenge the Queen.

She raised her chin, her glare not wavering. She sat forward in her chair, refusing to let him think he was intimidating her. "It is not His Lordship whom I question. Your only saving grace is the fact that I trust he would not keep you around unless it was incredibly advantageous to the kingdom," she hissed, not about to back down from this chauvinist.

"I guess you'll never know," he smirked and sat back to cross his ankles on the table.

Gasps filled the room and Milori started to reach for Sleet to haul him out.

Clarion stood and leaned over to swipe her hand, shoving Sleet's boots off the table. He sat up quickly in surprise to prevent himself from tipping over and glared at her.

Milori looked at Clarion in surprise, never having witnessed her so angry.

"Leave us for a moment, Council," she growled, not removing her eyes from Sleet.

Everyone hurried out, except for Milori. "For a moment," she repeated pointedly to Milori.

He gave her a slight bow. "I shall be right outside the door, Your Highness." He threw Sleet a warning look and left.

Sleet folded his hands behind his head as if ready to be entertained while she remained standing.

She sat, realizing it was a losing battle to force him to stand in her presence. Folding her hands on the table, she said calmly, "You're free to tell me what you were afraid to in front of the others."

He blinked and dropped his hands down. "It was not fear but concern for your delicate sensibilities," he mocked.

"Cut the shit," she replied in the same calm tone, throwing him off balance. "You're an Alamur."

For the first time that morning, he was speechless. "I—"

She held up her hand. "Don't feed me dribble because I will chew it up and spit it back at you as a boulder. I do not take kindly to lies," she answered simply. "You have the dark hair, a blue eye, and I suspect the other is patched because it is brown. You don't have a black mark on your arm, but there is a faint scar, I suspect."

He snorted.

She shot a burst of pixie dust at his arm, causing his dust to surface to his skin. There was a faint circle where the dust couldn't rise up through the scar. "Play dumb with me and I'll prove you are. Now," she splayed her hands out on the table, watching them stroke the wood as if bored. "Are you going to tell me anything, or would letting your secret out be better suited to your games?" Her eyes returned to his, letting him see in her eyes just how serious her threat was.

"Lord Milori is aware," he replied tightly, believing to have bested her.

"Oh, I don't doubt that," she replied dangerously calm. "It would disappoint me if he hadn't figured it out. He clearly trusts you enough to have let you into our realm, so enlighten me. What is it that keeps you from slaughtering us with your fairies? Or is that the secret? You were in with Bernard in planning this attack all these years?"

His mind was clearly scrambling to figure out how she knew all of this.

"Come now, you don't think that I was naive enough to not put all of this together." Then she tapped her chin with her forefinger thoughtfully. "Ah, you were counting on it that my little brain couldn't possibly fathom any of this," she shook her head with sarcasm, a smirk on her face. She saw his temper go up a notch. He wasn't a spy but a dedicated soldier to her kingdom who didn't care to be called a traitor. "I'm so sure His Lordship will be disappointed to hear of your treason when he obviously has placed more trust in you than I have ever seen him do." She stood and started for the door.

She was suddenly shoved back against the wall roughly with Sleet in her face, holding her by the neck.

Milori shot into the room with his sword drawn, but she shot a burst of dust from her hand at him to keep him stilled. Her eyes held Sleet's, the danger and rage barely contained in him, but she didn't flinch.

Sleet was so angry he didn't seem to notice Milori's presence. "I was one of them until I witnessed Lord Milori offer himself up to save so many lesser, weaker fairies," he snarled like a rabid dog eager to make the kill."I watched him suffer but refuse to betray you. A lord like that is not made but born. A kingdom he must come from to protect a queen at such costs is not born but made," he hissed.

His lips were wet from the anger in his words, his head cocking to glare at her in a way that stripped her soul apart as if it were nothing. If he had instantaneously opened his mouth with a scream to reveal needle-sharp fangs and sink them into her neck, she would not have been shocked. Her pulse beat strong and fast under his hand, but there was no fear in her eyes.

"I will slay you if you harm her," Milori snarled, unable to move.

She kept her hand out, holding Milori motionless, and held Sleet's angry glare. "If I release him, he will kill you. I can lay a hand on you and shoot enough dust through your skin to make all your organs burst. Enough games," she answered firmly.

He looked into her eyes, a hint of the rage fading. "My people slay each other over nothing. I wanted a queen would die for her people; who would create an empire rather than steal one and rape the life from it." He was silent for a moment. "You do not fear me. I could kill you so easily—I am the best assassin of the Alamur, yet you show no fear," he said with slight awe in his voice.

"If the Alamur hurt any of my fairies, the fear will be felt by the Alamur," she answered firmly. "My wrath, Captain, will make the Alamur weep." She threw her elbow down over his arm, breaking his grip on her neck. Snatching up his other arm, she used his falling weight against him to pin him down on top of one arm and held his other back to immobilize him, finally pressing her foot at a spot between his wings so if he struggled his wings support frame would break.

Milori was freed from Clarion's dust holding him back but he didn't move, shocked at what his dainty little Clarion could do.

Leaning down, she whispered a vow into Sleet's ear, "My wrath is as fierce as my loyalty to my kingdom."


	30. Chapter 30

Tink sat at home, angry that Terence was angry at her for telling her friends such exciting news. "He doesn't understand," she explained to Blaze. "You would think he'd be excited too and wanting to tell everyone we're courting. What kind of relationship is that?!"

Blaze looked at her blankly.

There was a knock on the door, and Tink answered it to find Terence standing there looking sad. "Tink, we need to talk."

She opened the door further.

He flew in and landed in the middle of the room. "Tink, that really hurt that you went and told everyone I proposed but you turned me down."

Closing the door, she turned and frowned. "It hurts that you don't want to tell anyone we're together. I'm really angry and can't hearing an apology tonight."

"An apology?" he asked in surprise.

"You don't think I owe an apology, do you?" she gasped and laid a hand on her chest.

Blinking, Terence splayed out his hands. "You told something incredibly personal between us! I'm a laughing stock! What have I done to owe you an apology?"

Her eyebrow cocked. "I just told you."

He looked at her like she had broken his heart. "I thought we were friends, Tink. You don't go spewing your relationship details to everyone. I don't understand why you want to embarrass me like this." He flew over to the door.

"Terence, I don't understand what the big deal is," she pleaded.

His hand was on the doorknob and he looked at her over his shoulder. "I know. And that's what hurts," he said quietly. Then he flew out.

Clarion let Sleet go and took a step back as he got up off the floor. Milori was instantly beside her looking enraged. Sleet faced her with a hint of a smile that she didn't know if it was mocking or genuine.

"Now, I'm wary of this, so I'll leave it to your lord to decide your punishment." Clarion went back to her seat as calm as could be. "Please send in the council, Lord Milori. We will resume in five minutes."

Milori was furious at Sleet for having laid a hand on Clarion, not to mention the insubordination Sleet had shown to both of them during the meeting. He forced himself to turn to Clarion with a bow first. "Yes, Your Highness." Then he grabbed Sleet by the collar and dragged him out, Sleet stumbling along a few steps until he yanked out of Milori's grasp to walk on his own.

Clarion had to suppress a laugh when Milori slapped the back of Sleet's head and growled something at him, snapping at Sleet's heels on the way out.

Milori returned a few minutes later with Sleet. Clarion's eyes followed Milori, not sure if it was wise to bring Sleet back in.

Both Sleet and Milori bowed, to her surprise. "Our apologies, Your Highness. Another interruption will not occur," Milori explained tightly and held her eyes, promising that things were under control.

She gave a nod as they sat. "It won't," Clarion agreed firmly, meeting Sleet's eye. "Now, we were discussing what should be done about the letter," she said, resuming the meeting and turning it over to Milori.

"I suggest we smuggle our army through tunnels we have the badgers and moles dig and attack from behind the enemy," he said simply.

That caused an uproar at the table, several of the ministers standing in protest.

"They will simply turn around and annihilate our homes and civilian fairies!" the Minister of Summer decreed.

"It might take days to make those tunnels, and we don't have that time to waste!" the Minister of Autumn replied.

"We cannot dig through winter!" Sled protested.

"Just listen," Milori stated, trying to regain the table.

"Our army will be thinned out too much!" Thomas advised.

"Everyone in the kingdoms will be without an army!" Gliss panicked.

Clarion sat silent through the arguing, studying Sleet, who sat still with his fingers steepled in front of his lips and eyes brooding. "Enough!" she said loudly over the noise, her eyes never leaving Sleet.

The room silenced and everyone sat.

"You raise no objections, Captain," she stated.

Sleet turned his head to look her in the eye, his gaze brooding. "I was thinking."

She knew by now to overlook the fact that he didn't address her properly because there was nothing proper about this fairy. "And?"

"It's a risky but cunning move that they won't see coming," he replied gruffly.

Her eyes turned to Milori, who was watching her. "Will some guards be left behind to protect the kingdoms? And how thin will the army be spread?"

He held her eyes, and she knew he was about to speak the brutal truth.

"We leave a third of the guards here to protect the castle. We will attack during the night, having our light and wind fairies take owls, so as to wear cloaks to hide their glows, to darken the moonlight. We can sneak up on the enemy, using the element of surprise to our advantage. With any luck, we will have attacked enough of them that our force size won't be such a disadvantage to us," he said seriously. "We evacuate the kingdoms to eliminate civilian casualties."

"And soldier casualties?"

He looked into her eyes and was silent for a moment. "If we are swift, less than a quarter. If things go wrong, all."

She sat back in her chair with her hand still on the table. "I am not sending a hundred fairies to slaughter," she said firmly, no longer Milori's lover but a queen.

"There is always risk of complete casualties, Your Highness," Milori explained.

Looking him in the eye, she countered, "What are the odds in this case?"

"The Alamur are vicious, and they will react out of instinct to a surprise attack. Most of our casualties will likely be from instant death rather than hostages. I would guess the odds of complete casualties is fifty percent," he said firmly in fact.

"Absolutely not."

"Your Highness, this is our best move. We would need an army double the size to ensure victory-," he insisted.

"Then I suggest you double it," she snapped.

He heaved a sigh, clearly trying to keep his temper. "It takes years to train an army. We cannot simply go pulling civilian men into this. They will last seconds in a battle this ruthless. We don't know of any amicable fairy worlds either to aid us."

Her eyes narrowed and she sat forward to point a finger down on the table. "You ask me to send more than a fifth of our population to their deaths, more than a third of our male population. Their deaths, General, will lead to the untimely deaths of their mates," she replied angrily. "With their mates deaths, we lose over a third of our overall population. After three hundred years, winter's population is still suffering," she snapped, her eyes angry. "I will not sign death warrants," she hissed.

He flexed his jaw, his eyes narrowing on her. "There is no other way, Your Highness," he replied tightly. "If we sit, we will all die. Our soldiers are aware their positions may require sacrifice, as are their mates. We risk all of us or only our soldiers." His temper rose and he practically growled, "With all due respect, you have not witnessed war, Your Highness. We are on a time clock if we are to beat them at their game. If we lose the element of surprise, all is lost. We do not have time to waste."

She ground out, "There is never one way, General. Discuss this with your captains. I want other options brought to the table in two hours when we will resume." She stood and so did everyone else as she walked out. She could feel Milori's glare on her back the entire way to the door.


	31. Chapter 31

Clarion marched down the hall past guards but heard a heavy tread coming up quickly behind her. Only one fairy would storm after her on his feet, and she knew he was incredibly angry.

She went into her room and wasn't surprised to hear the door slam behind her. She turned and Milori advanced, pinning her between him and the wall, with one hand leaning on the wall as he glared down at her. The vein in his neck throbbed with the beat of his thundering heart. The adrenaline and fury pulsating off of him made her own heartbeat pick up. Here was not a lover but a warrior prepared to crush the enemy, his determination their only saving grace for a victory that was, in all sensibility, impossible.

"We do not have time for a two-hour intermission," he hissed, his breath cool on her face but his eyes hotter than the devil. "We waste precious time that ticks away a life with every second we sit here," he growled, his free hand fisted between them as if itching to shake sense into her. "I know casualties are not easy to accept, but this is our best course. You have no experience in this, Clarion. You have to trust Sleet and I. We have battled these fairies before and have felt their cold claws of death."

She looked up into his fierce eyes. "You ask me to sacrifice so many of our fairies. Find another way," she demanded.

He pushed himself back from her. "There is no other way!" he shouted, growing more upset with every passing minute.

"Just like you said it's completely impossible to mate?" she countered, still leaning against the wall.

He pointed a finger at her and snarled, "Don't you dare make this decision because you're afraid of losing me."

"I'm afraid of losing everyone!" She shoved away from the wall and marched over to him. "Tell me what these fairies did to you! Explain to me why there is no other way!" she begged.

He stood as strong and invincible as time itself. "I will not blacken your soul with learning the evils these fairies are capable of. There is no other way because they will see us coming. It would be more merciful to execute our fairies than to let them die at the hands of the Alamur," he answered quietly with dignity that she recognized could only come from a true hero who had survived unspeakable horrors. "I respect you with my whole heart, but you don't know what you're doing to us, Your Majesty."

The formal use of her name in private both cut and shocked her. And drove home his point directly into her heart.

"I have never wished, until now, that I was king so I could overrule you," he said with a heavy heart, searching her eyes. He gave a slight bow, his face filled with disappointment and regret, and silently left.

Milori marched down the hall. Nothing terrified him more than this war they faced where the Alamur sought to assassinate Clarion by any means. The Alamur were toying with them like a cat toying with a mouse before skinning it alive in a slow, agonizing death. He had witnessed the Alamur take their natural course of action hundreds of years ago when they had attacked by surprise at night. They were so sure of their victory this time that they were flaunting it, savoring and feeding on the fear and torment that could be smelled in the air.

Milori walked back into the room to find all of the council gone but Sleet, who was reclined in his chair with his boots up on the table. He didn't break stride as he stormed across the room and hauled Sleet out of his chair by the shirt collar. He slammed him up against the wall.

"How do they know they have us outnumbered?" he hissed in Sleet's face with a hand on his neck, bringing up a point that Clarion had thankfully overlooked.

Sleet wasn't fazed at all and met Milori's glare calmly. "Bernard was a spy for years. Why wouldn't there be more?"

"You were with them long enough to recognize if any of them are here," he growled.

"They wouldn't be stupid enough to send a fairy I knew."

"Was Bernard one of the Alamur or the Black Shadows?"

"From the physical description the Queen gave you, it sounds like he was an Alamur who went rogue trying to murder the Queen to gain her powers for himself."

"Would they have tried to rescue him from Neverland?" he demanded. "Is that he's gone missing?"

"No," he snorted. "They wouldn't even go after their own leader if he were captured."

"Then where is Bernard?!" he roared.

"I do not know," Sleet ground out between his teeth in a snarl.

"Have you leaked anything to them?" Milori hissed.

"I risked my neck to save you once, and you question me after three hundred years?" he snapped.

Milori pushed him against the wall harder. "You once pretended to be one of us," he hissed, his eyes slicing through Sleet. "You were a spy for a year, who I believed had been lost in the woods when you were born. It didn't cross my mind that you entered our kingdom from another world. And you led the Alamur right to us," he spat. "You watched us be cut down with no more thought than a machete taken to a stalk. You watched the men you had trained fall around you in bloody heaps at your feet! Why shouldn't I suspect you again? How could I have been stupid enough to believe that you truly are loyal to Her Majesty now?!" he roared.

Sleet pushed him back with excessive force, causing Milori to stumble to catch his unbalanced weight. "I didn't understand what I had done!" Sleet shouted. "I watched you suffer things that I didn't know were possible to survive! I realized my errors after several days and dragged you out of that cell, knowing we would both be slaughtered if we were caught," he breathed angrily in Milori's face. "I regret what I did and have to live with my ghosts. You saved my life, and I have not betrayed you since."

Milori's look cut straight through Sleet, and he shook with rage. "I am fighting the Queen because I trust you that you agree this attack will work and you're not going to lead us to slaughter. I risk so much more than the lives of myself and my soldiers this time."


	32. Chapter 32

Clarion dropped down onto the edge of her bed, Milori's words shaking her to the core. A thousand thoughts ran through her head in the span of five seconds. With trembling hands, she got up and walked out of her chambers.

Milori exited the council room and stormed down the hall.

"My lord!"

He turned to see Thomas flying down the hall after him, so he stopped.

"My lord, the Queen has ordered the council into session but asked to speak with us and Captain Sleet first."

His brow furrowed, but he quickly retraced his steps with Thomas walking beside him.

She was seated at the head of the table with Sleet a couple chairs to her right when they entered, her expression unreadable and eyes downcast in thought. Thomas waited for Milori to be seated before taking his own seat; Sleet didn't stand, although he nodded in acknowledgement of Milori. Milori frowned when he sat and saw Clarion's hands shaking in her lap. His eyes flew up to her face in concern, but she folded them together and moved them under the table out of view without looking at him.

"Are you in agreement with His Lordship's plan of attack?" she turned to Thomas immediately, her voice not quite as strong as usual.

Milori blinked, confused why she was suddenly considering his plan now.

Thomas looked her in the eyes. "Given the circumstances...yes," he said quietly.

She looked at Sleet, who nodded, and then held Milori's eyes.

He saw anguish and terror looking back at him, and he so desperately wanted to spare her from it. She was completely out of her element, which he suspected was a first for her, and terrified of making the wrong decision and sending her kingdom into extinction. Her eyes were wide with innocence, and he longed to hold her in his arms and promise it was all a nightmare that would be over when she blinked. Instead, he forced himself to say, "We need to evacuate immediately."

Her eyes searched his, and he knew that a lesser female would have succumbed to tears. Instead she said softly to Thomas without breaking eye contact with Milori, "Bring in the rest of the council."

When Thomas got up and walked away to open the doors, Clarion stared down at the table, lost in her own thoughts again. Milori glanced the other way at the doors to see the ministers come fluttering in.

He almost startled when he felt a cold hand slip into his under the table, and he turned his head to look at Clarion. Her eyes were still locked on the table, but her hand gripped his. Hard. Her trembling was so strong that he marveled that the rest of her wasn't quivering too. He held her hand tight and sat forward in his seat a bit for a modest amount of privacy.

"If you are not certain, we need more discussion. You declare a war, so you must believe you are doing the right thing," he said quietly, deeply concerned that he had pressed her into something she thought was wrong.

Clarion dragged her eyes up to his and swallowed hard. Suddenly getting up, she walked quickly out of the room, with everyone staring after her in confusion.

Milori got up after a moment, so as not to be terribly obvious, and went after her.

She needed air. It was too claustrophobic in the castle. The sun was shining brightly through the windows in the hall as if taunting her that she couldn't reach its true rays. Her footsteps carried her faster and faster until she was running through the halls, ignoring the protest of her jostling wings that were still so raw. Two guards suddenly blocked her path, forcing her into a grinding halt.

"We have orders to not let you outside the castle," one of them apologized.

"No, I just...I need air," she panted, the air suddenly too thick for her to breathe. They wouldn't move, so she ran down a different hall to where she knew she could find sanctuary.

Milori stopped outside the council chamber doors and looked right and left, seeing no sign of her. Then he heard light footsteps echoing and knew there was only one other fairy in Pixie Hollow who had to run instead of fly. He took off down the hall, afraid of her being determined to get outside and getting attacked.

She ran up the tower stairs that were empty and down another hall. Encountering a heavy wooden door, she grabbed the handle and threw her shoulder into the wood, desperate for freedom where she could draw in deep breaths and think clearly. The door gave away and she almost tumbled through it. There were the stairs to a tower balcony. She ran for them when the hall suddenly dipped and she nearly lost her balance. Grabbing the railing, she stumbled up the spiraling stairs, her eyes focused on the light coming from above. The stairwell circled the tower three times, and it felt like she wasn't getting any closer to the door. Once she blessedly reached the top, she ran out onto the balcony and leaned her hands on the stone railing, gasping in huge gulps of air.

Pixie Hollow was spread out before her like a painting. The colors of the various seasons were vibrant and beautiful. Summer was green and lush with butterflies dancing in the fields and fairies no more than small specs working in the village. To her right was spring with rainbows caressing the sky and brilliant fields of colors with new blooms. Autumn and all of its rich reds, golds and oranges with crisp breezes rustling the leaves loose from the trees on the rolling hills was on her left. She knew that winter was behind the tower with its blankets of beautiful white snow covering the mountains.

Milori saw drops of sugar on the stairs to what he assumed was a tower. He knelt down to touch a drop, and it instantly faded from gold of a warm fairy to light blue of a winter fairy. Looking up the tall winding staircase, he saw a flash of a gold dress between the open stairs before it disappeared through a door. He tore up the stairs two at a time, fearing if she had damaged her wings.

Clarion heard someone thundering up the stairs and spun around with wide eyes, expecting an enemy to emerge. Milori appeared.

He stepped around the corner, slightly breathless and ready for anything.

The instant she saw him, she came running and threw her arms around his neck.

He braced for her weight and caught her, wrapping her safely in his embrace. She was breathing hard as if panicking and her body was still trembling. "Shhhh," he said softly in a low voice to calm her as if she was an injured animal. "It's alright," he cooed and stroked her back gently. He gently gave a long stroke down her back and continued it to her wing, softly lifting it slightly to look at the tips. Her left wing was fine, so he stroked her right one and found a tip that was dripping large amounts of sugar. Carefully touching it, he let their bodies react until his finger tingled. Then he lifted his finger to see it lightly sealed over. "Deep breaths. It's alright, sweetheart," he soothed, realizing she hadn't paid attention to what he had been doing. Her poor body clung to him, and his arms rose and fell quickly with her heaving ribcage.

Simply being held by him calmed her panicking. Once her breathing slowed enough to speak she said softly, "I'm a coward. I can't do it."

He held her tighter. "You're not. Why would you say such a thing?"

"I can't order men to go die," she whispered. Then her arms wrapped around him tighter and her hand cupped the back of his head. "I can't send you to your death, I love you."

He released a deep breath, not even knowing what advice he could offer. "I love you too, sweetheart. What do you want to do?"

"I want there to be another way," she whimpered as if on the verge of tears.

"I wish I knew of something else. I know how hard it is to send men into hell, sweetheart. This has to be your decision because you have to give the order. You must be able to live with the outcome. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm worried we're rushing into something because we think we're out of time."

He could feel her heart slamming against his chest. Then his eyes glanced up into the sky, and he gently pried Clarion's arms away from his neck.

"What?" she asked in confusion as he turned her around, his eyes focused on the horizon. She followed his gaze, and her breath was stolen from her lips. A thin dark fog hovered on the far horizon. Running to the other side of the balcony, she looked around the tower to see the thin fog surrounding Pixie Hollow in the distance. But it wasn't a fog. It was the Alamur. She turned to Milori with wide eyes. He grabbed her hand, and they ran down the stairs.

Milori held open the council door for her, and they raced inside. The ministers all looked up from their seats at the table in surprise. Thomas looked alarmed at the sudden intrusion. Sleet, however, stood so fast that his chair toppled. One glance at Sleet's pale face, and Clarion knew that he realized what was happening.

"They are on the horizon," Milori told Sleet.

She suddenly found herself with Milori, Sleet and Thomas on one knee at her feet with their heads bowed. Like some things that she knew by instinct, she knew they were waiting for her command that was no longer an option. "Lord of Winter," she said in a strong voice.

He raised his head and met her eyes. "Yes, my queen?"

She swallowed hard, stripping away any emotion for him. Right now he was her General and she was his Queen, nothing more. A queen ruled with her head, not her heart. "Tell your soldiers we are going to war," she announced, suddenly calm and in control of herself.

"Yes, my queen." He held her eyes as they stood, and then he left with his captains to prepare.

The ministers all left to start organizing the evacuation of their seasons. She was still standing there in the empty room when she looked up and saw Dewey at the table. He used his walking stick to get up and flew over to her, concern written in his kind eyes.

"You do know he will come to say goodbye. They will bring their readied armies to you to vow their allegiance before they leave," he explained.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "There is no way to protect any of them, is there?"

"Oh, don't cry," he pleaded and patted her shoulder. "They have faced war before and prevailed. It will be a short war this time, and Lord Milori will ensure victory." He took her elbow and escorted her to the throne room to await the soldiers.


	33. Chapter 33

If she hadn't been so heartbroken over sending her fairies to war, and devastated having to send Milori back into his nightmares and possibly never see him again, she would have gone weak-kneed at seeing Milori. The large wooden doors opened and Milori walked into the room and down the red runner, leading so many men all wearing thick green uniforms to protect their skin, with swords on their hips. If only they had time to prepare, she would have had armor made for them. She stood up from her throne, just a few steps up at the front of the room.

The men all had shields on their arms and filed into the room in formation, their synchronized march vibrating the floor. She felt their energy as they approached, fearless and united. Her eyes held Milori's as they advanced, her heart hammering away both with exhilaration that these were the men who were to defend the kingdom and humility that they were strong enough to throw themselves to, what would be for some, their deaths. She shoved down her emotions, knowing she wouldn't be able to speak to them without tears otherwise. Right now they needed strength. They needed a queen worth fighting for. No matter how much it ripped her apart inside to send them into hell, she would be strong for them. And for Milori. Milori stopped the march at the foot of the stairs before her and they stood proud and tall at attention.

"Soldiers of Pixie Hollow," she said loudly for all to hear. Her eyes swept through them, making eye contract with each and every fairy to speak to him directly. "Your General can give you better words than I to guide you, but I see it in your faces that you do not need to be reminded of your love for your kingdom. Your sacrifice more than what I can offer in return." She raised her hands and the walls trembled as she grew warm, summoning dust from the Pixie Tree. It seeped in through the windows and rose high above them until a great cloud hung near the ceiling. Then she flicked open her hands and it all released down on the men. She squeezed her hands slowly, gently forcing the dust through their clothes and skin in hopes of keeping them healthy and strong.

Milori didn't turn to the men but looked up at her when she nodded for him to address the soldiers, if he wished. His words were few but more powerful than she could have imagined. "Long live the Queen!" he yelled and raised his sword.

The room was throbbing with barely contained energy as they all drew their swords and roared as one, "Long live the Queen!"

Then Milori turned to her and dropped to his knee with his head bowed. A wave washed through to the back of the room until every single soldier was on his knee with his head bowed. Her eyes swept over them. For the first time, she truly understood what it meant to be a queen. She felt so unworthy having the strongest and bravest bow to her when they were so much more deserving in this moment. With any mercy, many would survive, but they would carry visible and invisible scars with them for the rest of their lives. All she had done was command them to make the sacrifice. Tears filled her eyes, but she would not let one fall. For them she would hold herself together and be strong until they were gone.

Milori stood and so did the rest of the soldiers. All eyes turned to her, waiting to be dismissed into war. What she did filled the room with moving silence. Even Sleet swallowed hard.

The Queen of Pixie Hollow knelt down on one knee and bowed her head to them. Then she raised her head. "Come home to us," was all that she softly said. Then she looked at Milori, who had humbled tears in his eyes.

Milori stepped forward and offered his hand up to her to help her up, but he didn't let go. Instead, he guided her down the steps to stand before him. Looking into her eyes, he stepped closer so their foreheads almost touched and whispered, "I love you." Then he kissed her deeply, pulling her close against him. A roar of whistles and hoots rose up, and he started to pull away.

She wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him just a moment longer. Milori laughed softly between kisses. She cherished the sound, not knowing if she'd ever hear it again.

Male laughter and clapping filled the room.

They finally broke the kiss, and he stayed beside her but turned to the men and drew his sword. "We will see victory!" he roared.

The men roared and started filing out, eager to save their home.

Milori sheathed his sword and wrapped his arms around her. "Be careful," he said softly and searched her eyes. "I want to be able to think of you waiting to be mine when I return."

She swallowed hard and cupped his cheek, the room empty now except for the dozen guards he was leaving with her. "You face much greater danger, and you've not been to war without your wings. Come home," she whispered, holding back her tears.

"I will," he said in a thick voice. Then he brushed a kiss over her lips. "I love you."

When she opened her eyes, he was already gone.

A guard stepped forward while she stared at the door. "My queen, we must evacuate you now."

She held a hand to her lips as if she could force the coolness of Milori's touch to remain there forever. A single tear rolled down her cheek.


	34. Chapter 34

The war had been going for three of the most horrendous days of Clarion's life. She had refused to evacuate and leave behind the heroes to save her own hide. Instead, she had given her bodyguards the option to join the rest of Pixie Hollow in a land a day away that Milori had promised was safe. They had refused to leave her, to their everlasting credit.

A soldier decoy in her cape made the Alamur think she had left on an owl and they had followed the decoy, exactly as she had hoped. Her trap led them to a mainland where human children did not believe in fairies, according to Dewey's books. The fairy had secretly flown off of the owl at the last second, while the Alamur had followed the owl over the mainland border. Two hundred Alamur had perished instantly, but there were still so many in the skies of Pixie Hollow.

She had floundered for hours that first day, feeling so helpless and like she was watching a genocide occur outside. Clarion had been watching out the window, hearing distant war cries and screams but unable to tear herself away for fear that she might be able to help somehow. But then her purpose arrived. It had started with one soldier weakly flying through the air back toward the castle that first evening of war.

The soldier had been her age and a castle guard who had always told her a joke whenever she had stopped to talk to him in the halls now and then. He had fallen out of the sky when he had nearly reached the castle lawn. She had thrown open the window and had shot dust into the air at him, slowing his descent to the grass. Throwing on a cloak to conceal her identity from anyone watching, she had climbed out her chamber window after yelling for guards. She had run over to him and dropped down beside him. He had given a weak moan as she had rolled him onto his back to reveal a deep belly wound with sugar flowing out of him.

"It's alright, Oak," she had promised and, without hesitation, had pressed her hand over his mouth to muffle his scream when she had reached into his wound with her other hand, pumping dust into him to at least stop the hemorrhaging and buy him time until he could get to a healer. The guards had taken him inside the castle and two had gone to fetch a healer who was half way to the sanctuary lands by now. Clarion had tended to him the best she could and worked to keep away the pain for him, her eyes glancing at the clock every two minutes.

He had tried to tell jokes as she had mopped his damp brow where he laid on her bed.

"Save your strength, Oak," she had said softly and released more dust from her hand over his gaping wound that no longer leaked sugar.

"Never thought I'd...have the Queen tending...to me," he had panted with a smile and then had given a weak cough. He had squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed a handful of the sheets when a wave of pain ran through him.

She had slipped her hand into his and countered his fierce grip. Once it passed, she had looked into his eyes that were less bright with every passing minute. "Forgive me," she had whispered and tears had fallen onto the bed. "I should never have declared war." Her voice had cracked with the last word.

His brow had furrowed and he had held her hand tight. "We had no choice, but every one...of us would have gone to fight...for you if you had asked for volunteers." He had swallowed hard, the pain coming more often.

She had released more dust on his wound, her tears coming freely by that point.

He had gently reached up and stilled her hand. When she had met his eyes, he had said, "Save your dust for one whom it will help." He had gently lowered her hand.

Her lip had quivered. "I'm so sorry. They'll be back soon. A healer will know what to do," she had sniffled.

A gentle smile had crossed his lips. "We both know you...have some of every talent. I'm not...afraid to fade," he had said softly with tears in his eyes.

A sob had escaped her, and she had clung to both of his hands.

"It's not your fault," he had promised. "I could not have served...a more worthy queen."

Her cheeks had been bathed in tears by that point. "Did I ever tell you that you helped me so much those first years after Lord Milori had left? I walked down your hall eleven times one day just so you could make me smile with your jokes."

"Thirteen," he had corrected, a smile tugging at his lips. "I was almost out of jokes and had to...look up more in case you came as often...again the next day."

She had given a watery laugh and brushed at her eyes. "I came to rely on those jokes," she had croaked. "Sometimes they were the only thing that could ease the hurt."

He had smiled, a tear escaping down his cheek. "I knew," he had said with a weak cough. "And it was truly an honor to...be the one you turned to for a smile."

She had leaned forward and gently kissed his brow. When she had pulled back, he had a soft smile on his lips but his eyes had been staring. His light had faded.

Because the hospital was too close to the border where there was fighting, she had made her castle the new hospital since that night. She had tasked herself with watching for the injured, who naturally gravitated toward the Pixie Tree to die, as well as tending to those who needed time bought before the healers could help them. The healers had arrived last night thankfully, but she continued her work, only sleeping a few hours a day. She tended to those who were hospitalized, sometimes simply holding a hand or wiping a brow. They had lost four fairies but saved sixteen in the hospital. Who knew how many were lost on the battlefield. With every wounded fairy who arrived, she feared how much more vulnerable it made those left on the field, including Milori.

Clarion was finishing spreading dust on a soldier with a broken leg the next morning when there was commotion down the hall in the room where new arrivals were taken to be examined to see if they needed surgery or not.

"I'd better go see what's going on, Jack," she told the soldier.

He gave a tired smile. "I'll keep."

She walked down the hall and heard arguing.

"I am fine! The soldiers are outnumbered! Let. Me. Go!"

The voice was tired, but she recognized the accent and broke into a run. She flew into the room where some of the less injured were in makeshift beds. Near the doorway, she saw the gurney, with a healer and Spruce holding down a white-haired fairy who was struggling to get up despite the trail of sugar on the floor as they tried to wheel him into the surgery room.

"You're lucky Sleet brought you in, or you'd have hemorrhaged on the field," Spruce snapped. "Lie down!" he barked, out of patience.

Clarion ran over, her wings wrapped down to her under her dress so she wouldn't be recognized just in case the Alamur invaded. She grabbed one of Milori's large arms as he tried to get up. She saw that his thigh was slashed open, with a makeshift bandage of leaves that he clearly had made to try to avoid going to the hospital.

"I'll tell the Queen about your treason trying to keep me from leading the soldiers!" he bellowed.

Spruce glanced at her with a snicker.

Milori tried shaking her off. "Let go!" His head swung around to her when their skin started tingling upon contact. His eyes looked ready to pop out of his head and he stilled.

The healers took advantage of it to get supplies ready and cut away his pantleg.

"Why the hell are you here?!" he snapped and started struggling again when he realized he had been strapped down. "I told them to get you out! Who the hell tied me down?!"

She set her hands down on his shoulders to still him. "Settle down," she ordered calmly.

"I will not calm down! We are being cut down by the minute and need a new strategy!"

Clarion slapped her hand over his mouth, forcing him to be quiet, and held his angry eyes. "You are hemorrhaging and will not even make it back to the field. Be still." She let go and held out her arm over Milori for Spruce to start a transfusion.

"What?! Not from her!" Milori raised his head as much as he could and barked from between them, but he was completely immobile when Spruce slid the pine needle from the other end of the tube into his arm.

Clarion peeked over a healer's shoulder to see how bad the wound was now that Milori's pantleg was cut away from it.

"Take out that transfusion tube right now," he snarled.

She looked down at him in surprise to see fury in his eyes.

"You are supposed to be hundreds of miles away," he growled with his voice gradually rising. "Not right here!" he boomed. "They are trying to kill you! For every soldier you see here, there are two dead on the field! Let me up! And get out of here!"

She felt her face pale, having thought there were few casualties. Then her nerves snapped and she held his face firmly between her hands. "You are dying. Be still and let them work, or I'll tell them to sedate you."

His eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't," he hissed.

"Spruce, sedative," she ordered, her eyes not leaving Milori's. "Then stitch him up."

"Fine," Milori snapped and turned his attention to Spruce. "I'm leaving when you're done."

"Your artery has been severed. You aren't going anywhere soon," Spruce replied calmly as he worked quickly with another healer to slow the hemorrhaging.

Milori turned to Clarion, his last hope. "You don't understand. We're losing numbers too fast. Pack it with dust or whatever will make it hold out," he begged.

She looked at Spruce, who shook his head at her. Then she looked back down at Milori. "Do you promise me that if I unstrap you that you'll be still?"

He started to answer.

"Not your queen but me." She knew that he would do whatever he had to for his kingdom, even lie. But to his lover, she hoped he would tell the truth.

He hesitated. "I'll be still until Spruce is done," he answered truthfully. "Clarion, don't ask me to leave them out there," he said quietly, his eyes searching hers.

She closed her eyes, knowing she wouldn't be able to order him to turn his back on his soldiers, just like she couldn't turn her back and go into hiding herself. "I hate you," she whispered and opened her eyes.

Milori gave a sigh of relief. "I know," he said softly in understanding.

Clarion unstrapped him quickly, and he stopped the transfusion. She looked to see Spruce almost done with his fifteen or twenty stitches. Milori sat up and she took his head in her hands, leaning in to blow dust into his mouth. When he was coughing and filled to the brim, she moved down to his leg.

"He can't do this," Spruce warned.

She glanced up at Milori. "Tell me when to stop." Laying her hand over his stitches, she felt her skin start to grow cold where they were in contact.

He grabbed the edges of the table, bracing against the pain.

Her hand was so cold it hurt after a few more seconds.

"Stop," he panted and then examined her hand to make sure she was alright.

His wound was lightly scarred as if it was a few days old.

Clarion leaned a hand down on the gurney, slightly dizzy from the transfusion and merging of their dust.

Milori slid down to his feet and wrapped an arm around her. "Are you alright?"

She nodded and looked at him over her shoulder. "It won't hold for long. I won't forgive you if you don't come back," she said softly, searching his eyes.

He brushed a kiss over her lips. "I will. Thank you, sweetheart," he whispered.

The desire to shoot dust at a fairy to immobilize him had never been harder to resist than at that moment as she watched him limp out of the room and back into the arms of Death.


	35. Chapter 35

Clarion had not heard from or about Milori in four days. She stayed away from the room that held the soldiers who were well enough to swap battle stories—she'd rather not know the horrors Milori was facing while he was still out there. The injured kept flowing through the doors steadily, and she tried hard not to think about how many soldiers were at the castle, leaving so few on the field to fend for themselves. She had found herself absently counting the injured one night when she had been terribly tired. When she had reached thirty, she had suddenly realized what she was doing as if instantly awakening. There had been more in the hospital, but she hadn't wanted to think about how many when their army only had one hundred from the start.

A few soldiers had come in, just hours after Milori, for quick fixes and had gone back out to the field. When half of them had returned less than twenty four hours later because they had reopened their wounds, she had forbid anyone to leave without Spruce's approval. She didn't ask any of the fairies if they had run into Milori or knew if his wound was holding up because she needed to believe he was alright. Believing that he was coming back to her was the only thing that kept her going around the clock through the gore and sugar and screams. In the few hours of sleep she could catch here and there, she had nightmares about him lying in a ditch all alone as he faded. Or about the Alamur capturing and torturing him until he faded.

She was helping finish stitching up a soldier, Grant, who had multiple slices from a sword, when two healers and Spruce came barging into the surgery room with a fairy on a gurney.

"We need this room!" Spruce ordered as they frantically locked the gurney in place for surgery.

She looked up and saw Sleet with a sword protruding from his chest. "Take Grant out," she ordered the healer she had been working with and washed her hands quickly. The healers were barking orders and ripping supplies out of drawers, and she went over to Sleet to see him alert. Taking his hand, she said gently, "It'll sting, but you're losing too much sugar." She softly laid her hand around the edges of where the sword had impaled him and released dust to begin cauterizing.

He caught her free hand, his chest heaving from pain and to draw in air. "We thought we had them," he panted. "There aren't many left, but...they surrounded us by surprise," he coughed, his brow wet from pain. He held her eyes. "I was stabbed, and he slipped me out."

Without questioning, she knew he was speaking of Milori. She swallowed hard, both afraid to ask and afraid to not ask. "How many of us are left out there?" she whispered with tears in her eyes.

He looked like he debated lying but finally admitted, "Nine against nearly two dozen."

A sob escaped her lips.

Sleet caught her hand and held her eyes. "He won't give up. He won't stop until Pixie Hollow is safe."

She backed up when Spruce brushed her aside to give Sleet a heavy dose of poppy pollen to breathe in to fall asleep for surgery. Tears slipped down her cheeks.

Spruce looked at her over his shoulder. "Milori's too damn stubborn to die," he promised. "Go take a break. We've got this."

She wandered the halls in a daze and couldn't keep her mind from it any longer. Milori and eight soldiers couldn't possibly hold out against double the number of enemies. She witnessed how vicious the Alamur were in the wounds to which she tended. She wasn't sure how long she had been wandering, but she looked out the window and realized the sun was rising. And it was silent outside for the first time in a week. Peering out the window, she didn't see any blackness of the Alamur in the skies. Running to the infirmary, she saw all of the soldiers, who were able, sitting up and looking at each other in surprise at the sudden silence.

Turning to Sleet, who was in a bed near the door and awake, she asked, "Is it over?"

His brow furrowed as he listened. "I don't know. Give it some time. It could be an ambush."

"If it's an ambush, do we really want to sit here waiting?" she countered, her nerves wound so tight she felt like her bones would break themselves.

"Secure the castle, or send more soldiers to their deaths to go check," he said bluntly, laying out her options.

Walking into the hall, she spotted a handful of her guards. "Secure the castle," she ordered.

They turned to her in surprise.

"We don't know if it's over, or if they are advancing for an ambush. Move through the floors together and round up any able-bodied soldiers you can. I want head counts before you proceed to another floor. If there's an Alamur loose in here, I don't want him slipping past," she ordered.

"Yes, my queen," the lead soldier replied, and they left.

She went back inside and found Spruce tending to some of the fairies with the more grave injuries. "What do you need me to do?" She folded her hands before her and stood on the other side of the bed.

He looked up at her from the edge of a winter fairy's bed, his eyes old and weary as if he had been trying to save the dying for centuries instead of days. Standing and taking her by the elbow, he led her into the empty surgery room and closed the door. Running a hand over his tired face he said, "There are more than a dozen who are on the brink of death. Our death count is already near a dozen. These ones just need a push and I think I can pull them through." He held her eyes. "I think there's more to it than some kind of mating bond between you and Milori that helped heal him." He stepped closer and said slowly, "I think your sugar has power in it that no one else has because you're connected to the Pixie Tree. I think your sugar can heal."

She blinked. "That's preposterous, but if you want to try it..."

Clarion sat on the edge of the bed of a winter soldier who was wrapped in blankets one of the fairies had frozen to keep the winter fairies from overheating. He had a belly wound so grievous that she didn't know how he lived. Spruce connected the two of them for a transfusion, and they waited a moment for a small amount of her sugar to flow into the fairy. Nothing. Spruce stopped the transfusion and they waited. The unconscious fairy's breathing continued to be labored.

"I wonder if..." she said and got up. "Do whatever you have to in order to keep him alive!" she called as she ran out.

Clarion slipped out through the balcony that she had been on with Milori and onto a branch of the Pixie Tree. Climbing to the center of the tree, she paused to look around. There were black specs on the ground near the edges of the seasons, and she knew they were faded Alamurs. She tried to see any faint golden glows, hoping to see Milori coming home. Everything was still, even the air. The animals were in hiding, safe underground near the tree. The stillness of the lands that were usually buzzing with life was eery. Turning around, she continued her climb to the center of the tree, not daring to fly and draw attention to herself with her glittering wings in the sunlight. Upon reaching the center where she had gathered with fairies just weeks ago to protect the tree from the freeze, she knelt and laid her hands on the bark.

Closing her eyes, she commanded the dust to rise slowly so as not to draw attention if there were any Alamur left. Her brow grew damp, her body shaking trying to control the energy of the dust. It slowly oozed out of the tree under her hands, crawling up her skin and seeping in. The dust, in it's purest form from the center of the tree, did something she had not expected.

She opened her eyes, and she could see the tiny dew particles in a cloud that was miles away. The gentle breeze of the wind against her face felt like tiny knives slicing her skin. The rustling of the leaves screamed so loudly that her head hurt. She let go of the tree, breaking the flow of dust to her, and scrambled backwards away from it. Air entering her lungs was sheer pain. The power of raw dust that hadn't matured as it flowed through the tree and out the spout was something even Dewey didn't know. She panted, crawling back to the edge of the tree and trying to find her way down blindly, closing her eyes to stop at least one of her senses from overloading her mind.

Somehow she made it back inside the tower but tumbled down several of the stairs. A cry of pain burst forth from her, and she landed finally on the steps, curling up her body. The next thing she knew, she could hear several guards. It sounded like they were screaming even though she knew they were being quiet. She pressed her hands over her ears. After a minute, she felt a hand on her shoulder, although it could have been a sledge hammer with all of the intensity it felt like.

"She's burning up. What happened?"

She recognized Spruce's voice as she curled up into a ball, trying to escape the pain. "Raw dust," she whimpered, unable to speak any further for the vibrations her voice made in her body felt like it was tearing her apart inside.

"You're as damn stubborn as him," he growled and picked her up.

As soon as he set her down on the edge of the soldier's bed, she scrambled to his head, as desperate to get rid of the dust as he was to get it. Setting her lips to his, she blew dust into him. With each soldier Spruce carried her to, the more her body calmed as she got rid of the dust until all of those on their deathbeds had been given dust.

Spruce set a hand on her brow after the last soldier was treated. "You still have too much," he frowned, his eyes searching hers. So he carried her to Sleet, who was the next most severely injured.

Sleet looked slightly amused as Spruce set her down on the edge of the bed.

She would have rather vomited. "If you tell anyone, I will beat you with my hands and it won't be pretty," she threatened.

"Upon my honor, I won't tell his lordship that you kissed me," he replied, the corner of his mouth pulling up.

"You have no honor, and it's not a kiss," she snapped, her fever making her more irritable with him than usual. She leaned her hand down on the bed on the other side of him, and then pulled back slightly. "Serves you right if I puke on you."

He smiled just a bit, the expression softening his harsh eyes. "You need to get rid of the dust, and I need it." Then his smile faded and he was serious. "You can't remain at this temperature for much longer."

Swallowing down bile, she closed her eyes tightly and set her lips to his. She breathed out and he breathed in more gently than she thought was possible for him but not as gentle as Milori. Then she pulled back quickly, coughing with how fast he had taken it from her.

He coughed and held his chest wound.

Spruce was gone examining if the dust was working, and she felt too dizzy to attempt to get up.

A rough hand was on her brow. "You feel cooler." Sleet dropped his hand. "Thank you," he said quietly. "It already hurts less."

"It's working!" Spruce grinned from across the room. "Their pulses are getting stronger."

"Should we do it for all the wounded?" she asked tiredly.

Spruce shook his head as he examined a soldier. "It would harm one not mortally wounded, just like it hurt you."

She stood, and the exhaustion over the past week caught up with her—she fainted.

It was mid-day when she woke up in one of the infirmary beds.

"She's awake!" one of the soldiers in the beds next to her called.

Spruce came over quickly and examined her.

"I'm fine," she protested and pushed herself up to sit.

"You're exhausted," he frowned firmly. "You need to rest."

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "I will rest as soon as our soldiers are home."

It had been a full day of silence when she went to Sleet the next morning.

"I'm sending a dozen soldiers out," she told him solumnly and sat on the edge of the bed. "There's no sign of the Alamur, and if any of ours are alive, I won't leave them to suffer to death."

"He's out there," Sleet promised and laid a hand on her knee.

Swallowing hard, she nodded and raised her chin. "Of course he is." Then she got up and walked out to give orders when she wanted to go out there herself and find him.

She was hopeful when more than two dozen wounded were found in the fields and brought into the infirmary over the next two days. The waiting was driving her mad, so she continued her work of helping heal her fairies relentlessly. She wanted to go out in the fields herself to search, but the soldiers refused to let her out, swearing it wasn't something she'd want to see.

Many of the Alamur had done themselves in while others had been lost to battle. The number of Alamur totaled to just under three hundred and twenty. Pixie Hollow casualties were at fifteen, thankfully none of them with mates yet; sixty two had some degree of injury and sixteen weren't injured including her guards. The nine who had been the last ones to battle were still unaccounted for. And they remained so. Sleet finally convinced her to stop the fruitless search a week later when every season had been scoured for those nine who had become known as the Lost Heroes.

"My queen," Sleet said softly when she started to leave him, her heart aching.

She stilled but didn't turn back around to him.

"He asked that if anything happened to him that I be your Captain of Winter. I know that you and I don't quite see eye to eye on things, but, if you should choose to keep me in my position, I would ask to serve you rather than when the new Lord of Winter arrives."

She drew in a sharp breath, a knife driving into her chest upon remembering a new lord would come. No one could replace Milori. No one would ever be able to live up to what he had been to all of them.

"I do not think I could find another as worthy as his lordship. He held you in such high regard that I would serve you without question." His voice grew thick, and she knew they couldn't look at each other or they would both fall apart. "He would be so proud of you," he whispered.

Tears filled her eyes and she knew that Sleet understood when she had to walk away.

Clarion silently went back into the hall, exiting the room that served as the infirmary for the last few who needed it yet, including Sleet.

The guards bowed when she emerged.

She approached with her hands folded before her and her heart bleeding.

A heavy silence descended upon the hall as if the guards knew what she was about to order.

"It's enough," she said quietly in a thick voice.

"I'm so sorry," her new captain, who replaced Thomas as one of the Lost Heroes, replied softly with sorrow in his eyes.

She turned away and walked down the hall. Wandering aimlessly to her room, she sank onto the windowseat and stared out. The stars were shining brightly, reminding her of the night she had shared with Milori in spring all those centuries ago. She had to plan funerals for the Lost Heroes because their bodies couldn't have the normal burial of having their dust returned to the tree. She couldn't do it. She couldn't plan a funeral for Thomas and others who had become dear to her over the years. And she couldn't plan Milori's funeral.

The emptiness in her heart was so strong that she hadn't wept yet. She couldn't when she couldn't feel anything. She looked out the window and saw winter. It beckoned her. It had always been able to heal her heart temporarily when she had been lonely. But that had been before she had met Milori. Her feet moved of their own accord, taking her to her closet where she dug out her cape. Then she was out the window, not caring about the danger of bats or owls or any evils. Evil had already stolen from her the only thing that it could to hurt her. She hadn't opened her wings since she had the surgery because Milori was going to help her learn to fly, and she refused to do it without him.

As soon as her feet touched the ground below her window, she turned and started running. Her slippered feet flew over the ground as she soared through the fields where the fireflies danced. The wind tore at her hair, pulling it loose from the topknot she had taken to wearing again since Milori's disappearance. As before, the topknot reminded her to never let her feelings show and to always be prim and proper around others. A queen never portrayed any emotion.

She ran faster, desperately hoping that she could outrun the pain that was growing in her heart. Panting heavily, she pushed herself to go even faster until her feet were barely touching the ground. The wind whistled in her ears, and she heard the sorrowful howl of a coyote who felt the pain of the queen of the forest. Even the bats that fluttered high in the sky left her alone. Her cape flew out behind her, catching and tattering on sticks and bush branches, but she didn't let it stop her. She stopped suddenly when she stood at the door of the cabin Milori had built for her. With only a second of hesitation, she knew where her heart wanted to be. Bursting through the door, she tore through the house to the bedchamber, unable to get there fast enough.

She threw herself down on the bed, clutching the pillow where he had laid his head and kissed her the last time they had been here. She pulled it to her as if she held it tight enough it would morph into Milori lying in her arms. Tears cursed down her face, and she curled up her knees to her chest as she lie on her side. She gasped for air as the grief and anger overflowed. She shouldn't have declared war. She shouldn't have let Milori go back out. He was never coming home.

"Nooooooooooo!" she screamed in grief, clutching the pillow to her chest and her other hand grabbing a handful of the sheets as the pain consumed her beyond any agony she had ever felt. Sobs erupted from her as it finally became too much to bear, all of her dreams for a life with Milori shattered forever this time.


	36. Chapter 36

Clarion woke up a few mornings later in her chambers at the castle. She rolled over, exhausted from the restless sleep that she got for a few hours each night now. The coldness of her bed was something she was used to, but it hurt deep inside her chest now. A bit groggy, she knew that something was happening today but couldn't remember what. She looked around her room and saw her long blue dress hanging on her closet door.

Tears sprang to her eyes. She had forgotten for a brief instant that the funeral was today. The gown she had chosen matched the blue of Milori's eyes, back when he had been happy and carefree before he had wept out all of the color. Could the same happen to a warm fairy, she wondered. She had cried so many buckets of tears the past few days that Fairy Mary, who had been back for three days now along with the rest of Pixie Hollow fairies, had summoned Spruce. He had hospitalized her back at the true hospital for a night because she had been so dehydrated and exhausted. When she had woken up most of the floor with screams from her nightmares, he had let her return home in hopes that she would recover better in her own bed.

There was a knock at the door, but she didn't bother to respond. She just wanted to be left alone.

Spruce stepped through the door, his hair damp as if he had just taken a jump in the lake to cool off before crossing the border. "My queen, I just wanted to check on you." He came into the room.

She rolled away. "Please go."

"Let me make sure you're not so dehydrated." He walked over and knelt beside the bed, pulling out his stethoscope to listen to her heart too.

She tolerated it only because he stayed to her back so she could ignore him.

"You didn't sleep even with the sleeping pills, did you?" he inquired softly.

By the way he asked, he knew she wasn't going to answer.

"Do you have a headache from being dehydrated?"

She heard him rustling in his bag but didn't pay attention. "I don't know," she replied without caring. When she felt a needle slide into her arm, she didn't flinch.

"You need more fluids again. I wish you would at least drink," he pleaded gently. "He wouldn't want you to suffer like this."

Tears filled her eyes. "He doesn't know the difference anymore, does he?" she snapped, her voice breaking.

"Perhaps it would help to speak with Thomas's mate. She's having a difficult time too."

"I heard she's taking calls," she retorted.

"Her way of grieving is to keep busy with friends. It would do you a world of good to get out of this room." He unhooked the intravenous line.

"Go," was all she said.

He sighed. "I'll be back tomorrow, likely for daily fluids again." Then he left.

There was another knock at the door a moment later. Mary peeked her head in.

"You're awake, dearie. Do you want some hot tea or anything for breakfast?"

Clarion rolled away in bed. "I'm not hungry."

Mary flew into the room and stood beside Clarion, with a hand on her shoulder. "You've barely eaten all week. The healers said you must eat more. Pixie Hollow needs its queen."

She flung back the covers and stormed out of bed, yanking on her robe. "Neverland forbid the Queen shows any emotion! Gets any time alone, out of the damn public eye!" she barked. She started jerking the brush through her tangled locks at her vanity table.

Mary flew over and gently took the brush from Clarion before her locks ripped out. She started gently brushing. "You don't have to hide your emotions, Clarion," she said softly.

"Of course I do!" she snapped, snatching up her hairpins and meeting Mary's eyes in the mirror. "I cry and refuse food, and you shove me in the hospital!"

"You were ill. You're still not well," she said softly in concern and stopped brushing to give Clarion her full attention.

She shot to her feet and flung the handful of hairpins onto the vanity, sending them clinking everywhere with her force. "I was grieving!" she shouted and spun on Mary. The rage and pain wouldn't be contained any longer. She stabbed a finger at her chest with tears on her cheeks.

"I know it hurts," Mary said softly and reached out to hug Clarion.

Clarion slapped her hand away. "You do not know!" she shouted, her body shaking with anger. "The fairy I loved died! He went to a war that I decreed! I have no idea how he died or if he suffered or was scared or alone! Your mate didn't go to war! He didn't fight for our kingdom! You went with him to another land, leaving other males behind to do the dirty work!"

Mary paled and swallowed hard. "You said yourself that untrained fairies wouldn't last a day with the Alamur," she replied quietly with tears in her eyes. "Am I grateful that Gary didn't have to go? I am, but I feel horrible that only a few could fight for us. Hate me if you want, but it won't bring Milori back."

Clarion hiccuped with sobs. "He promised he would come home." She sank to the floor and wept into her hands, "He was in my arms, and I let him go back out there."

Mary knelt and wrapped her arms around Clarion's shaking shoulders.


	37. Chapter 37

Clarion had her head in the washroom sink so many times while Mary helped her get dressed for the funeral that Spruce was summoned again.

There was a knock at the washroom door, and he slipped in when she was in the middle of dry heaving.

He didn't say a word but set a cold hand on the back of her neck to calm her down, and his other hand held her upper arm to support her. When she started to collapse from being so weak, he swung her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

"Do you want a bit of a sedative to calm your nerves?" he asked as he dug in his bag beside the bed.

"No," she replied weakly and held a hand to her pounding head, closing her eyes.

"You must eat and drink, Queen Clarion, or I promise you will grow ill in a matter of days. I'll give you different sleeping pills to try," he said patiently. "He wouldn't want you to abandon Pixie Hollow," he said softly, knowing exactly where to strike.

Her face crumpled and she looked at him. "I can't do this," she whimpered.

He swallowed hard and held her eyes. "You can and you will." Setting a cold hand on her arm he said, "He did something like this too the days after he left you."

She blinked in surprise.

"He said what got him through each day was talking to you in his head. Whether it's insanity or not, I don't care at this point because you aren't thriving this way."

After giving her some medicine to calm her stomach, he packed up his bag and left her to rest for a bit.

Exhaustion claimed her and she fell into a troubled sleep.

She startled awake when a guard was shaking her shoulder.

"Your Highness, it's just a dream," he said with wide eyes.

She sat up and rubbed her bleary eyes.

"You were screaming," he said. "Are you alright?"

She looked up to see several guards in the doorway.

Her new Captain, Rufus, was shooing everyone out and walked over. "She's alright," he said protectively and guided the last of them out. Then he turned to her, his eyes concerned. "Perhaps it's not my place, but have you talked with a healer about these night terrors?" He stood beside her bed, obviously worried but unsure how much familiarity to show being they were somewhat newly acquainted.

"Yes. What time is it?" She slid down off the bed, her head throbbing, and tried to shove out of her head her nightmare about Milori being tortured.

"We must leave in a half hour for the..." He let his voice trail off, unsure if he should say the word.

"Thank you. I'll finish getting ready."

He bowed and shut the door.

She looked at her reflection. Deep shadows were under her eyes and her hair somehow seemed as dull as her eyes. Her dresses no longer shimmered but had the illusion of drips that Spruce suspected were 'tears,' mirroring the extreme emotion that had come to consume her. Her eyes were slightly puffy from unending crying, and her cheeks were a bit sunken from weight she was beginning to lose. "You refused to mate to save me, but it looks like it made no difference in the end," she said softly, knowing her light wouldn't last much longer at this rate. She slowly set her tiara on her head, despising the thing now that had cost her so much. She turned her back on her reflection.

Clarion walked down the hall slowly as if in a dream, feeling so disconnected from everything. Her guards followed silently, not questioning why the Queen was arriving before anyone else. She went into the empty throne room that held flowers and photos of the Lost Heroes. She couldn't bear to look at any of them, so she left her guards at the door and slowly walked to her throne. But she couldn't bring herself to stand in the spot where she had sent Milori off to war. Instead, she went to the window and stared out at the beautiful day outside. She could see a soft snow fall in winter. A tearful smile overcame her. It was fitting that it was snowing on his funeral day with the way he loved snowflakes. Touching the window pane, she felt a coolness wash over her hands and let her fingers frost the pane. She created an intricate snowflake design, her hand taking a mind of its own and developing such detail that he would have been in awe. It was several minutes before she noticed fairies were filing in. Instead of taking her seat at the throne, she sat in one of the chairs at the end of the front row, giving honor instead to the ones who had sacrificed themselves. The burials for the dead whose bodies had been found had occurred a couple days ago. Fairies who were closest to the deceased would say a few words of respect.

Everyone gave their eulogies, Milori's being saved as the last being he held the highest rank as a general and a lord. She couldn't listen to anything they said. She couldn't think about what she would say. It was too much. Inside she was screaming and shaking with uncontrollable tears. On the outside, she sat calm and regal. And expressionless. After a torturous hour, it was her turn.

She slowly stood and walked to the front of the room, keeping her eyes away from the photos because she knew she would fall to her knees and sob otherwise. Turning around slowly to face the room, she dragged her eyes up to look at the crowd full of tearful faces. Closing her eyes, she whispered to him, "I need strength." Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and spoke. "To some he was a lord, to others a friend. But to all of us, he was a hero..." Her voice broke and tears blurred her vision. She tried to take a steadying breath, but it only escaped as a sob. She covered her mouth with her hand and blinked away tears, her vision clearing to see Spruce getting up to come help. But the doors of the hall opened and no one moved.

Her heart stopped, and she didn't believe her eyes. It couldn't be. The room was silent in astonishment as nine men limped into the room.


	38. Chapter 38

Everyone backed up, afraid of these fairies whom no one recognized.

Clarion couldn't breathe.

One male fairy led the group, his loose gray hair was stringy and dirty. He had a limp so pronounced that he used a branch as a crude cane, and his skin and clothes were nothing short of filthy. He was tall and broad, but the effort of walking was clearly hard. His face was battered, and he dragged a black sword behind him as if it was too heavy to lift. The fairies in black who followed him were just as filthy and in poor shape, some of them helping each other walk.

She raised her hand to immobilize them with dust, ready to fight for her kingdom against the last of the Alamur.

The leader stopped at the foot of the steps and dropped to his needs hard as if ready to drop over. He laid down his sword before her in surrender and bowed his head. His men fell to their knees too.

Her heart started beating again, terrified what they were planning.

"We bring you the leader's sword. The war is over," he said in a rusty voice.

For an instant, she couldn't move. They wanted sanctuary, and she had no idea if she trusted them that it wasn't an ambush. Part of her was deeply enraged that they dared to interrupt the funeral of the ones they had slaughtered. With trembling knees, she slowly went down the steps.

Guards surged forth, but she held out her hands for them to wait.

She stepped on the sword so he wouldn't be able to snatch it up and impale her. With a shaking hand, she leaned down and only touched this disgustingly dirty fairy by his chin with one finger, tilting his head up.

Honey eyes looked up at her.

She felt the sugar drain out of her face and her stomach drop to her feet. "Milori?" she whispered with huge eyes. It couldn't be. They were dead.

"I promised I would come home," he rasped, with tears of relief in his eyes.

A sob escaped her, and she fell to her knees in shock. "Milori," she whispered and cupped his cheek. She could feel him. Her face crumpled and both trembling hands reached up to cup his face to reassure herself that she hadn't gone mad.

A tear fell over his lashes, cutting a clean trail through the dirt to reveal beautiful white skin underneath. His eyes searched hers, filled with so much relief even though they were haunted by ghosts.

"I thought you were dead," she wept and threw her arms around him. Her entire body shook with sobs.

Roars of cheers filled the room as everyone gathered around to welcome home their heroes who had returned by some miracle.

Milori let out a choked cry when she hugged him. She let go quickly and looked at him in concern when he doubled over with a hand on the ground. The crowd slowly fell silent.

Her eyes scanned over all of them, and it finally dawned on her that they were badly in need of medical attention. "Healers!" she called and then leaned down to sweep Milori's stringy hair away from his face, her tears of joy morphing into tears of relief and concern over what was wrong. "What hurts?"

He shook his head, blinking hard as if trying to not faint. "The list is shorter for what doesn't hurt," he rasped, his eyes focused on the carpet under him, clearly fighting to remain conscious.

Healers quickly helped get Thomas and the other warm fairies to the hospital. Spruce was instantly beside her helping get Milori to his feet. Milori shook his head and weakly tried to resist.

"See to Icicle first," he panted.

She knew better than to argue with him when he had it in his head to be stubbornly noble. Clarion saw a winter fairy who was being helped up by Fairy Gary and Sled. She hurried over to him and got under his arm.

"I'm alright, my queen," he said tiredly with embarrassment even though he leaned on her.

"Your arm is broken?" she asked when she saw him holding it against his ribs.

He nodded.

"Come, we'll get you both to a lake."

"Truly, I'm well enough to fly. See to Lord Milori. He took the worst of it for us." He fluttered and headed to the door to prove his point.

She turned to see Sled and Spruce trying to get a good grip with Milori between them. "Milori!" she cried when his eyes rolled back and he went limp.

"He fainted," Spruce said calmly. "It's for the best until we get him to winter. Be careful, Sled, I think he has broken ribs."

The crowd helped get the soldiers out. She followed close behind Milori, worried what Icicle had meant that Milroi had taken the worst it it. The physical wounds she knew they could heal; it was the ones they couldn't see that would be difficult. Clarion feared just how difficult being the soldiers had disappeared for a week. A sick feeling overcame her for she suspected these heroes had been prisoners of the Alamur and had become very intimate with evil.

The guards closed the large wooden doors on the empty throne room with a resounding thud.


End file.
